Victory in Grief

It was a long, exhausting drive from my Lafayette home to my mother’s bedside in the small Alabama town where I grew up. Nothing in my years as a pastor’s wife or my experience as a registered nurse had prepared me for this journey.

Twice in 1997, the Great Physician had intervened, astonishing the medical doctors, who had offered no hope. Prayer had prevailed, and my mother’s life had become a living testimony to the entire hospital staff of God’s miraculous healing power.

Shuttling back and forth across the endless miles for the last few months had taken a huge emotional and physical toll on me. Mother’s wish not to live with me during this time was a decision that I honored but agonized over.

I prayed continually for deliverance from all the pain and heartbreak. With childlike desperation I cried out for an end to the constant round of hospitalizations, family turmoil and rigorous medical treatments.

Finally the surgeon reported that he had done all he could. Now it was all in the Master’s hands.

My 2 a.m. arrival at the intensive care unit was no surprise to the nursing staff. I had spent many nights there in intercession for my precious mother.

Only four months before I had witnessed her receiving the baptism in the Holy Spirit. I paused at the entrance, asking the Father for strength to face this trial.

Selfishly, I asked God to keep my mother here for me. In silent despair, I asked, “Why?”

Walking into the dimly lit room, I looked at her ravaged body. The nurses repositioned her, and she cried out in pain.

I spoke her name. She reached out to weakly embrace me.

Her lips moved silently; she was unable to speak. As I looked helplessly into her face, I saw that God was answering my prayer to end the heartbreak.

The glory of the Lord shone on my mother’s face for a brief moment. Her eyes closed as she drifted into a deep and peaceful sleep. Twelve hours later she went home to be with the Lord.

The last few years have not been without struggle. Grief came, but by faith, victory prevailed! In her eyes I saw glory. In her eyes I saw God.