When You Don’t Want to Be Here

by | Mar 11, 2015 | Women

I have a confession to make this morning.

I wasn’t very present with my family this weekend.

I wasn’t feeling well and I really needed some down time. I’m learning that it is hard to be intentionally present when I am physically present 24/7.

We don’t have a babysitter and we are a one-car family, so when my husband is at work we are confined to our property. This is OK and I’m content with our present situation—but it does make for very long days at times.

I went to bed last night with a lot of guilt, realizing that I had missed out on an opportunity to make the weekend fun for my kids.

And as I renewed the commitment I made in January to show up, I realized that there are five things I need to do to make sure that being present isn’t just an activity in 2015, but a habit for the rest of my life.

1. Give yourself grace. Dear Mommy, there will be slip-ups in life. If we focus too much on our failures and not enough on our successes, we place a burden on our shoulders our family doesn’t mean for us to carry. When you fail to be what your family needs you to be, ask forgiveness and plan for a successful next time. Turn your failure into a teachable moment.

2. Plan your down times. It’s easy to let “down time” happen throughout the day, until we’ve frittered out time away and we realize that we weren’t present for our family when they need us. That’s what I did this weekend. I didn’t have a good plan, so very little was accomplished. This weekend I learned that I need to plan down times in my day and plan them well. I am able to keep going when I know that a bowl of popcorn and my favorite film is waiting for me when the kids go to bed.

3. Take advantage of moments when your children are playing and encourage independent play. Do you have work that usually waits for you when the kids go to bed, preventing you from having adequate down time? Plan times of independent play for your children and take advantage of those times to get the dishes done, the rug vacuumed and the house picked up so that when they go to bed at night, you can unwind. It makes it far easier to be present when you’re well-rested.

4. Make intentional plans to be present. Something I learned from this weekend is that being present doesn’t just happen. “Present” wont just show up on your doorstep and say, “Here I am! I’m moving in now.” It’s a habit that has to be built, and for that habit to be built a plan must be made. I will spend this week planning weekend activities with my children.

Another thing I’ve realized over the past couple of weeks is that my husband’s swing and graveyard shifts are the hardest. When he is on swing shift, I am alone with the kids nearly the entire day. After an entire week that way, it becomes a little monotonous around here.

I am learning to save “tricks in my bag” to break up the monotony that is second shift. Graveyard shift is a character all his own. Because of our small house, the children and I must stay confined to the living room so that Daddy can sleep (something that is vital for him). By the end of the week we’re all suffering from major cabin fever. This needs a special plan, so I will be working on special activities to do on the week’s when he is graveyard—including some field trips, since the car is here.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Why There is Power in Your Song

Why There is Power in Your Song

Do you have a great voice? If so, then sing! Do you have a horrible voice? If so, then sing! There is power in the song. God gave you your vocal cords, voice and ability to sing. There has never been a culture in which music was not part of society. We see music...

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

Have you ever wondered what heaven was like? What does a person see and experience when they are in heaven? Is the arrival in immediate when a believer dies? These are great questions and ones that Rabbi Felix Halpern can answer. A mix-up in medicine brought about a...

Prophet: Learning to Listen With Discernment

Prophet: Learning to Listen With Discernment

Learning to listen with discernment means that you begin to recognize the voice of God so well that other voices sound unfamiliar. In John 10:5a, Jesus told his followers, "Yet they will never follow a stranger." This statement needs to become a reality in your life....

5 Stages of Building a Successful Team

5 Stages of Building a Successful Team

The definition and purpose of leadership are directly tied to organizational models and the five stages of building an organizational model. Let’s talk about those five stages. What we say here may sound somewhat like what you may have heard before about building a...

Mario Murillo Compares America Now to Israel on Mount Carmel

Mario Murillo Compares America Now to Israel on Mount Carmel

America stands in a crucial moment, much like the moment where Elijah made Israel choose between Baal and Jehovah. Elijah said to the people, "How long do you halt between two opinions? If Baal is God..." That's according to Evangelist Mario Murillo, whose ministry...

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

There are many incidents of God giving people a sign throughout the Bible. Although I believe God still does this, I also believe that we must be careful. Asking for a sign can be misleading if other factors are not taken into consideration. In Genesis, we find an...

RECENT ARTICLES

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

The last words Jesus spoke to me in my 23 Minutes In Hell vision were, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” Then He repeated Himself and said again, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” The...
Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Praise be to Almighty God, righteous judge, holy of holies, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. The earth is His footstool, and to His kingdom there is no end! Breached Births The Spirit of the Lord says this day: “There has been a breach—breached births, My...

10 Reasons the Apostolic Movement Is Essential to Gospel Expansion

10 Reasons the Apostolic Movement Is Essential to Gospel Expansion

The global apostolic movement is the most significant expression of Christianity today. This is the view expressed by historian Philip Jenkins. He talks about the rapid expansion of the church in the global south, much of which is reminiscent of the first-century...

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Do you have any relationship struggles? Perhaps you want to learn how to love, for real. Too often today, people search for a fairytale love and are disappointed when the fairytale fizzles, which it will. Michael Gibson, author of Real Life Love, challenges folks to...

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

Have the words that others have spoken over you ever significantly impacted you? Words can birth destinies on the inside of us and bring hope to our hearts for the future. They have the power to ignite our dreams and give life to our souls. At the same time, negative...

How You Can Foil the Plot Against Your Life

How You Can Foil the Plot Against Your Life

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Jesus warned us that we have an enemy, and he is a thief. He steals our joy, purpose, peace and, if he can, our future. Jesus knew it was important to warn us...

How You Can Foil the Plot Against Your Life

How You Can Foil the Plot Against Your Life

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Jesus warned us that we have an enemy, and he is a thief. He steals our joy, purpose, peace and, if he can, our future. Jesus knew it was important to warn us...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]