Handling Your Kids That Break Your Mold

by | Apr 29, 2014 | Women

When my first set of kids were younger, I used to think of them more like empty vessels. I was the mom, and I believed it was my job to fill them up with all the good things of life—things to make them well-rounded and, let’s face it, better than any other kid who’s ever been born.

I signed them up for sports, for music, for dance, because there was a lot to instill in these few soon-to-pass child years. But no matter what activity I shuffled them around to, I discovered that my kids were not empty vessels. God had already done a fine job designing them, thank you very much!

It’s sad to think of all the time I wasted trying to mold my children into who I thought they should be. Instead, I wished I’d realized sooner my children’s Creator knew them from the beginning—had designed them from the beginning. King David knew this. Psalm 139 is one of my favorites. In it, David sings about God creating us and knowing us, forming our bones and preparing our days.

It’s silly to think that God didn’t make my kids right. Or that He missed an important element (like artistic genius and athletic aptitude) when forming them. Even though their talents are different than what I’d envisioned, their designs were well thought out and beautiful.

God knew Leslie’s strong will would help her as she lived away from the rest of us as a missionary in Europe. (And you’d have to be pretty stubborn to not give up in learning the Czech language!) He knew Cory’s loving, hugging nature would help him be a good dad and that Nathan’s propensity to having a wandering mind would make him a great novelist. (I know that now, but man, it was hard home schooling that kid!)

There are still things I would have liked to change in my kids (through either subtraction or addition). There are ways they need to grow in godliness, but no one starts off perfect. I have so far to go myself! I know that just as I’ve grown and changed over the years, with God, they will too.

I’ve taken away a few lessons that I’m using with our second set of kids:

1. God makes everything beautiful in its time. Understanding this earlier would have helped save me time and energy as I attempted to form my kids into something they’re not.

2. When my kids refuse to be put into the molds of my making, that doesn’t make me a failure as a mom. With the first set, I would have been more tuned in to the kids and how God created them. It’s what I’m trying to do with this 2nd set!

3. Different is beautiful. God’s design is different than anything I could have come up with, and that’s just fine. God knows what He’s doing, after all! God did not create empty vessels for us to fill, but well-designed people for His purpose.

What about you? How are your kids different than what you tried to mold?

Steps to Take

  1. Pray that you would trust God’s design concerning your kids.
  2. See your kids as works in progress.
  3. Post a sticky note to remind you to trust God’s beautiful design!

Daily Prayer

Dear heavenly Father, 

Help me to realize my kids are empty vessels, but they’re not for me to fill—they’re for You to fill! Help me to trust You in this; I know it will be a process, but I know You’ll guide me through it.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Tricia Goyer has written more than 35 books, including both novels that delight and entertain readers and nonfiction titles that offer encouragement and hope. She has also published more than 500 articles in national publications such as Guideposts, Thriving Family, Proverbs 31, and HomeLife Magazine.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Prophecy: A Prophetic Insight Into the Roe v. Wade Reversal

Prophecy: A Prophetic Insight Into the Roe v. Wade Reversal

The halls of heaven are rejoicing in the victory for life. The grief our Lord knows over the death of millions of babies in the name of secular humanism, the beast of Revelation 13, has been tempered by our Supreme Court's decision to send the future of abortion back...

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Russia invaded Ukraine on February 24, 2022. Before the invasion, many—probably most—Western analysts expected the war to last from a few days to a few weeks due to Russia’s vastly superior military might. However, the Ukrainians surprised everyone. Due to the bravery...

Why There is Power in Your Song

Why There is Power in Your Song

Do you have a great voice? If so, then sing! Do you have a horrible voice? If so, then sing! There is power in the song. God gave you your vocal cords, voice and ability to sing. There has never been a culture in which music was not part of society. We see music...

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

Have you ever wondered what heaven was like? What does a person see and experience when they are in heaven? Is the arrival in immediate when a believer dies? These are great questions and ones that Rabbi Felix Halpern can answer. A mix-up in medicine brought about a...

Prophet: Learning to Listen With Discernment

Prophet: Learning to Listen With Discernment

Learning to listen with discernment means that you begin to recognize the voice of God so well that other voices sound unfamiliar. In John 10:5a, Jesus told his followers, "Yet they will never follow a stranger." This statement needs to become a reality in your life....

5 Stages of Building a Successful Team

5 Stages of Building a Successful Team

The definition and purpose of leadership are directly tied to organizational models and the five stages of building an organizational model. Let’s talk about those five stages. What we say here may sound somewhat like what you may have heard before about building a...

Mario Murillo Compares America Now to Israel on Mount Carmel

Mario Murillo Compares America Now to Israel on Mount Carmel

America stands in a crucial moment, much like the moment where Elijah made Israel choose between Baal and Jehovah. Elijah said to the people, "How long do you halt between two opinions? If Baal is God..." That's according to Evangelist Mario Murillo, whose ministry...

RECENT ARTICLES

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

There are many incidents of God giving people a sign throughout the Bible. Although I believe God still does this, I also believe that we must be careful. Asking for a sign can be misleading if...
Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

The last words Jesus spoke to me in my 23 Minutes In Hell vision were, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” Then He repeated Himself and said again, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” The Bible is clear that Jesus is coming back to rapture His believers,...

The Best Way to Love Others and Yourself

The Best Way to Love Others and Yourself

I believe that other than the gospel regarding salvation through faith in Christ, learning to walk in love is the most important lesson in God’s Word. Jesus says that love is the most important commandment (Mark 12:28–31). The apostle Paul writes that love is the...

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Praise be to Almighty God, righteous judge, holy of holies, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. The earth is His footstool, and to His kingdom there is no end! Breached Births The Spirit of the Lord says this day: “There has been a breach—breached births, My...

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Do you have any relationship struggles? Perhaps you want to learn how to love, for real. Too often today, people search for a fairytale love and are disappointed when the fairytale fizzles, which it will. Michael Gibson, author of Real Life Love, challenges folks to...

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Do you have any relationship struggles? Perhaps you want to learn how to love, for real. Too often today, people search for a fairytale love and are disappointed when the fairytale fizzles, which it will. Michael Gibson, author of Real Life Love, challenges folks to...

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

Have the words that others have spoken over you ever significantly impacted you? Words can birth destinies on the inside of us and bring hope to our hearts for the future. They have the power to ignite our dreams and give life to our souls. At the same time, negative...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]