It’s called “the disease to please.” A deadly bacteria that starts as a small twinge in your gut when you know you’ve let someone down.
Some recover rather quickly upon realizing how taxing this disease is, others remain infected for long periods of time; some take years or even their entire life.
I am one of the latter seeking a cure.
Any doctor will tell you that if you truly wish to cure a disease, you must understand its make-up. You must know its components, its root. Sure, you can take a Tylenol for a headache, but when the Tylenol wears off you’ll have to take another and another—unless you know the root of the headache and address that.
What is the root of the disease to please?
To discover this, we must look at the components of the disease:
1. I don’t want to disappoint
The truth of the matter is, it is impossible to go through life and never disappoint anyone. Any effort we make to do so will only result in being pulled in multiple directions by the loudest voices. We will find ourselves taken advantage of and used.
2. I don’t want to be misunderstood
This has always been a great fear of mine. It has often led me to be far too open about my life and failures; it has resulted in self-deprecation and over-explanation of my activities and responsibilities. It wasn’t until early last year that I had a massive revelation:
People don’t really care.
This may sound a little harsh, but let’s examine that for a moment.
I don’t mean that people don’t care about me. Its just that they really aren’t into all the minute details of what I do everyday. It doesn’t concern them—and it shouldn’t. They have their own lives and abundance of responsibilities. It isn’t their business to know all the things I’m committed to and everything that I have to accomplish in a day.
Furthermore, if people choose to judge my character based on a simple “no,” that is their problem to deal with. I can’t let it concern me.