7 Tips for Relief When You’re Drowning in Parenting Pain

by | Jul 18, 2019 | Women

Summer is here. I live in Florida, an hour from the beach. There’s danger in the waters, and it’s not always from a sea creature. We hear tragic reports of drownings from a different kind of danger: rip currents. As I thought about this, I realized something: parents of troubled teens or adults (due to alcohol or drugs, jail, mental illness, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, homosexual desires and so on) feel like they’re caught in a rip current.

I’ve been there. I know. We feel as though we’re drowning—emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We need the help of a special kind of lifeguard—a heavenly one!

I did a little research and discovered that rip currents are strong channels of water that flow out to sea from near the shore at a dangerous rate of speed. The average tip travels one to two feet per second and up to eight feet per second. In a moment, they can drag an unsuspecting swimmer away from the safety of shallow waters.

People who get caught in rips tend to panic and drown from exhaustion because they fight against the fast-moving current. Even in waist deep water, they can be dragged out where they can’t stand. Weak swimmers without a flotation device, or who don’t know what to do, are in danger of losing their lives.

Like rip currents, our children’s troubles can sneak up and yank our feet out from under us. If we aren’t strong enough or don’t know what to do, we’ll be dragged out where we’re in over our heads. We’ll find ourselves drowning in fear, guilt, resentment, enabling and more.

We Were Ripped

My husband and I did our best to raise our kids the right way; to give them a godly foundation and a healthy home life. We thought we were in safe waters. But we found ourselves caught in a situation we couldn’t get out of. We had no idea how to make our way back to safety. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t get there. Emotional, physical and spiritual exhaustion set in. We were ripped.

How can you escape from a rip current? Not by doing what feels right in the panic of the moment—trying to swim back to shore against the rip. Swimmers don’t get pulled under in these currents, they get carried out to deep waters where there’s no foothold. The key to survival is to know what to do and be able to do it: First, always swim where there’s a lifeguard on duty. This could save your life! Stay calm and swim parallel to the shore until you’re outside the current. Then you can make your way toward shallow water. Hopefully, a lifeguard will notice you’re in distress and come save you.

7 Ways to Find Relief

Are you caught in a parenting rip current with your child? Have you lost your footing? Are you in a depleted and exhausted condition? I found relief when I did these seven things:

  1. I quit fighting against what was happening.
  2. I got past the shock and denial of the situation.
  3. I faced my fears.
  4. I accepted there was a problem I couldn’t handle.
  5. I stopped trying to rescue my daughter or force her to change.
  6. I surrendered my daughter back to God.
  7. I let go and let God work.

I needed the help of a heavenly lifeguard. With Him, I could do these things and survive. I regained my foothold and found peace. My hopeless-looking situation no longer had control over me.

By His power, I came out of the grip of the rip.

The Help We Need

This wasn’t easy. I had to learn to trust God more with my child until I could lean back in His strong arms, like a heavenly lifeguard. This was where I found freedom from the effects of the rip current. This was how I made my way back to shore, with His wisdom and strength, not mine.

Have you learned to lean back in the Father’s arms and trust Him to hold you up in deep waters? Have you stopped fighting against what’s happening, come out of denial and faced your fears? Have you accepted there’s a problem you can’t solve? Have you let go and surrendered your child back to God?

If you’re in need of rescue, He’s always on duty, ready to dive in and help you in your time of need. He’ll come to your aid on the wings of the wind. You’re never beyond His reach. He knows your need, and when you call on His name, He’ll rescue you. Remember, rescue may not look like you expected, but I promise you, He will come.

This Bible verse has encouraged me many times: “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath you are the everlasting arms” (Deut. 33:27).

Thank you, God. Thank you that you promise to come to my rescue.

Find comfort as you listen to the song, Rescue. {eoa}

Dena Yohe is the author of You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids (2017). Co-founder of Hope for Hurting Parents, she is a blogger, former pastor’s wife and CRU affiliate staff. She and her husband, Tom, have been guests on “Family Talk With Dr. James Dobson,” “Family Life” with Dennis Rainey” and “Focus on the Family” with Jim Daly. A proud mom of three adult children, she loves being Mimi to her grandchildren. Find out more at HopeForHurtingParents.com.

This article originally appeared at hopeforhurtingparents.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Abortion Restrictions Don’t ‘Force Religion’ on Women

Abortion Restrictions Don’t ‘Force Religion’ on Women

After the Supreme Court ruled last week 6-3 that there is no constitutional right to abortion, pro-life supporters cheered while angry pro-choice activists took to the streets to denounce the decision. Abortion advocates carried placards and shouted slogans such as...

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

One of the most amazing facts about the Founding Fathers of our nation is this: The one referred to as the "voice" of the revolution (John Adams) and the one referred to as the "pen" of the revolution (Thomas Jefferson) both died on the same day—July 4, 1826—exactly...

Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

It’s a question I frequently hear. It’s one I’ve asked. And maybe it’s one you’ve asked, too. The question is, “God, why did You give this to me?” This can be any number of issues, from emotional or psychological struggles to symptoms or sicknesses, disabilities or...

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

I sense it. And I perceive a growing number of people in massive proportions sense the increasing momentum of power and might worldwide. Something is on the horizon—something more eerie and ominous than what the people of the world have ever before experienced. Even...

Curt Landry: 6 Ways to Open Your Heart and Mind to God’s Voice

Curt Landry: 6 Ways to Open Your Heart and Mind to God’s Voice

We are told that we must listen to God’s voice when we need to make important decisions. What does the Bible say about hearing God’s voice? How do we apply this to our everyday lives? 7 Bible Verses About Hearing God’s Voice “So then faith comes by hearing, and...

Prophetic Word: The Books Are Open and the Scales Have Tipped

Prophetic Word: The Books Are Open and the Scales Have Tipped

As we were coming into the month of June, the halfway point of the year, the Lord began to speak to me that we are at a tipping point. How we position and posture ourselves in this month will set the tone for the next six months. A tipping point is a series of small...

RECENT ARTICLES

Charismatic Christian Spreads Spirit-Filled Hope, Boldness and Truth to the U.S. House of Representatives

One of the most high-profile, outspoken, freedom-fighting and influential conservative members of the U.S. House of Representatives is a Spirit-filled, Charismatic Christian. Colorado Rep. Lauren...
Are You Being Trapped by This Wily Scheme of the Enemy?

Are You Being Trapped by This Wily Scheme of the Enemy?

A predator ensnares his prey with a trap meant to weaken and disarm the life so easily enticed by the bait set before it. Once the predator catches his prey, his goal is to steal, kill and destroy. Do you know this is exactly what the enemy is trying to do to you...

3 Things God Can’t Do

3 Things God Can’t Do

 Most people will be surprised and may even gasp at that statement. You mean there are some things God can't do? Yes, it’s true. He can do anything except for these three things. {eoa} Bill and Annette Wiese founded Soul Choice Ministries in 2000 for the purpose of...

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Russia invaded Ukraine on February 24, 2022. Before the invasion, many—probably most—Western analysts expected the war to last from a few days to a few weeks due to Russia’s vastly superior military might. However, the Ukrainians surprised everyone. Due to the bravery...

Why There is Power in Your Song

Why There is Power in Your Song

Do you have a great voice? If so, then sing! Do you have a horrible voice? If so, then sing! There is power in the song. God gave you your vocal cords, voice and ability to sing. There has never been a culture in which music was not part of society. We see music...

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

Have you ever wondered what heaven was like? What does a person see and experience when they are in heaven? Is the arrival in immediate when a believer dies? These are great questions and ones that Rabbi Felix Halpern can answer. A mix-up in medicine brought about a...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]