When You’re Facing Disagreement

by | Aug 27, 2015 | Woman

In leadership, you will always have detractors. People will question your assumptions, your actions and your attitudes. Today we will look at Job (from the Bible) and see what he did to deal with these “friends.”

Right up front we know that God finds Job to be “blameless and upright.” Job’s friends come to him out of a desire to help. Oftentimes, people who shoot arrows at you in church ministry do so out of pain—it is hard to watch your friend or leader go through something. They want the pain to end, and look for solutions.

Job’s situation shows us how our assumptions, actions and attitudes form the tension in difficult situations.

Assumptions—Job’s view of God was different than his friends’. They saw God as perfect and a mighty judge. Job saw Him as approachable, a vindicator. Job’s friends’ assumption led them to believe that the problem was Job. Job’s assumption led him to believe that God was capricious, choosing to give His favor inconsistently.

Notice that both assumptions were right, but the conclusions they drew from those assumptions weren’t right. Much of our conflict with other people in the church comes from just this issue—people with delightful love for God interpret reality through their worldview, not waiting to understand the whole picture.

Actions—Job knew that he hadn’t sinned. His friends believed that he must have, so they mulled through his actions, and attributed sin to them. We can learn a couple of things from this:

  • If you keep yourself in close relationship with God, you will be able to walk through the hard times with confidence.
  • People assume that action = result, and if they don’t like the result, the action must be wrong. We all want to believe that we have some control in this life. If you look at false religions, you will find that this is the common denominator—a belief that our actions will manipulate the outcome. In truth, God really is in charge, and we will “win” in every situation only by sticking close to Him, hearing His heart and following hard after the things that matter to Him.

Attitudes—Job’s friends interpreted his refusal to heed their advice as an unteachable spirit and an attitude of disrespect. Job was so far down in his depression, he came across as unteachable. Attitudes are a matter of interpretation. We take what we see and run them through the filters of our experience, then we interpret people’s actions through that lens. When other people attribute wrong attitudes to you take time to:

  • Check self—ask yourself and God if your attitude is wrong.
  • Check with others—sometimes you need to also get the perspective of others.

Example: A board member tells you how you blew a meeting, and offended half the room … you had no idea. Here’s what to do: Check your heart and check with God. Were you trying to offend? Did you know you were hurting people and didn’t care? Apologize.

If your heart was right, you still have to determine what relationships need mending. Go to someone you trust who was in the room and ask them if they sensed tension. Don’t approach it from the whine, “Sam says … but I think he is wrong, what do you think.” Protect your detractor’s anonymity and look for an honest assessment. It may be that you only have one relationship to worry about, and treating them with respect through the whole process will go a long way to restoring peace.

Today’s question:

In tough times, do you assume the problem is you, that the problem is someone else (even God) or that pain is part of life? What do you do to alleviate the pain?

Kim Martinez is a pastor, writer, speaker and ministry coach. You can hear more from her at deepimprints.com

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Kingdom Economics: Choosing a Better Way—God’s Way

Kingdom Economics: Choosing a Better Way—God’s Way

The Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) released its third and final estimate of second quarter GDP (Gross Domestic Product) and its PCE (Personal Consumption Expenditure Price Index). Since core (less food and energy) PCE is one of the Fed’s preferred measures of...

Orthodox Jew: The Miraculous Return of the Red Heifer to Israel

Orthodox Jew: The Miraculous Return of the Red Heifer to Israel

Read Time: 4 Minutes, 4 Seconds American Airlines flight 146 touched down at Israel’s Ben Gurion airport on time, arriving from New York’s JFK airport as one of the dozens of flights that arrive in Israel from the US daily. While a regularly scheduled flight, among...

Brother Andrew Was My Hero

Brother Andrew Was My Hero

When Andrew van der Bijl was a young man, doctors told him he was “too weak to travel” because of his chronic back pain. That advice seems absurd now, when we look back on the life of this legendary evangelist who came to be known as “Brother Andrew.” After he started...

Messianic Rabbi: The Last Words of Moses, Yeshua—and You

Messianic Rabbi: The Last Words of Moses, Yeshua—and You

As I get older, I find myself reading the Bible and seeing the text as if I was wearing a different pair of glasses. I am not talking about the fact that as I have gotten older, I have actually had to start wearing glasses. I am speaking more of the way I view the...

RECENT ARTICLES

Prophetic Revivalist: The Significance of the Hebrew Fall Feast Season

We have just entered a new Hebrew month called Tishrei on the Jewish calendar. As we proceed on this month in the celebration of the fall feasts of the Lord, it is vital to know the holy days and...
Elvis Presley’s Charismatic Faith on Display in New Book

Elvis Presley’s Charismatic Faith on Display in New Book

A new book called “The Faith of Elvis Presley” explores the spiritual side of the iconic “Heartbreak Hotel” singer, asserting that Elvis was a devout Christian who prayed for the infilling of the Holy Spirit on a regular basis. The author, Billy Stanley, whose mother...

Joseph Mattera: 7 Traits of the Sown Life

Joseph Mattera: 7 Traits of the Sown Life

Paul said he was a "drink offering." This meant that he offered his very life, spirit, soul, and body, to the Lord and to His church as a "living sacrifice" (Num. 15:4-10; 2 Tim. 4:6; Rom. 12:1-2). He also said he not only "spent" but "was spent" for the gospel (2...

Pin It on Pinterest