Unequally Yoked? 5 Ways You Can Love and Bless Your Unbelieving Spouse

by | Mar 11, 2020 | Woman

Being married to a nonbeliever can feel a lot like going to war in your own home daily. The disagreements that arise can feel defeating and make you feel like it’s you versus your spouse. But I believe the Bible when it says, “Love covers a multitude of sins” in 1 Peter 4:8b. If you’re struggling to love, here are some practical ways to bless your marriage that you can do today.

  1. Pray: When was the last time you prayed for your spouse? Like, really prayed for them? More than “God save them.” I’m guilty of this myself. If we are serious about keeping our marriage healthy, we’ve got to pray like it. Pray for their day and for them to be blessed. Pray for God to show up in extraordinary ways and that they feel loved by Him. Pray they do well at work. Pray for their friendships and their families. Pray for blessings over your marriage. Pray for them to be a kind, generous, loving parent (if you have or are planning on having kids). Pray that God uses them in their unbelief. Pray for protection from the enemy for them. If you aren’t sure where to start, there are lots of books available as a resource for praying for your spouse.
  1. Cut them some slack: As a believer, we are held to some standards that our unbelieving partners are not. In our union of marriage and becoming one, it’s hard to watch our significant others indulge in things that we shouldn’t. But holding them to the same standard isn’t fair and can be damaging to our relationships.

The Bible talks about not being drunk (Eph. 5:18, Rom. 13:13, Gal. 5:21), so I don’t drink all that often, but if I do, I limit myself to tolerance level. I used to hold my husband to this standard. I would be so upset and offended when he would become intoxicated. But the truth is, he isn’t a Christian, so why would he abide by the Bible? Just because we believe something and want to live by, doesn’t mean we can expect our partners to do the same. They may even encourage us to indulge in activities with them. These moments are where it feels like we are at war. Have a conversation with your spouse about your boundaries. Ask them not to cross them and not to invite you to participate in something that would cross them. Lovingly explain why this is important to you.

Are there any ways you are holding your spouse accountable in areas where you shouldn’t be (such as going to church with you, substance use, TV/movie viewing options, places they like to go and so on)? Prayerfully consider where you might be hindering your significant other and ask God for help.

*This doesn’t include harmful behavior such as abuse, substance abuse, affairs and so forth. If this is the case, please seek help.

  1. Read a marriage book, or two or three: There are so many fantastic books on marriage! I’ll limit my advice to three.
  1. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. This book has been so helpful in my marriage, learning about my spouse and learning how I can make him feel loved.
  2. How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich is phenomenal. Hands down, this book helped our marriage the most out of anything we’ve done so far.
  3. Lastly, I recommend a gem titled Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch by Lee and Leslie Strobel. This book has so much godly wisdom for pursuing your unbelieving spouse and encouragement for when it feels like nothing is working.
  1. Plan biweekly date nights: Dates are crucial for any marriage to thrive. Just because you don’t have the same foundation, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some time together doing something you both like. Take turns picking the outing and pray for your time together.
  1. Write down the good: Make a list of all the good things that have happened in your marriage. Write out your spouse’s strengths and all the things that made you fall in love with them. Focus on the good, and thank God for being present in your marriage. If you don’t have a long list, don’t feel bad. Look at your writing with expectancy to fill up pages and pages to come with what God can do. When we focus on the blessings and have thankful hearts, we put ourselves in a position to be used by God. With God, you got this! {eoa}

LightWorkers’ mission is to create engaging, uplifting and inspirational content that breaks through the clutter, building a community of sharing and igniting a movement in the real world that motivates people to celebrate and share the good all around them. Learn more at lightworkers.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Will the New Set of Seven Years on the Jewish Calendar Be Our Last?

Will the New Set of Seven Years on the Jewish Calendar Be Our Last?

Note: This is the second of a two-part series. For part one, click here. Beginning at sunset on Sunday, Sept. 25, our Jewish friends (and increasingly many Christians) will begin a two-day celebration of Rosh Hashanah, their time for new beginnings or a "new year."...

Is America Preparing the Way for a One-World Ruler?

Is America Preparing the Way for a One-World Ruler?

The culmination of history is approaching. The end of the world may be at hand. Yet Jesus tells us we should not be alarmed. Why? Because we are engraved in the palms of His hands. Because we are carried in His arms. Because we are the apple of His eye. The time is...

A ‘Davidic Anointing’ is Descending Upon Musical Instruments

A ‘Davidic Anointing’ is Descending Upon Musical Instruments

I once heard a testimony where the Holy Ghost was falling upon the people during worship. The preacher, R.W. Schambach, testified how the piano player got so filled with the Spirit that she fell off of the piano bench and the piano kept right on playing. No other...

Joyce Meyer: How You Can Make God’s Love Your Lifestyle

Joyce Meyer: How You Can Make God’s Love Your Lifestyle

I have made it a priority to study about love in the Word of God. Getting a revelation about how much God loves me and learning to receive His love has been life-changing for me. It’s been the key to being able to really enjoy my life because when I received God’s...

Mario Murillo: What God is Saying About America’s Destruction

Mario Murillo: What God is Saying About America’s Destruction

Many prophetic words released today shout one of these two headlines: America Is Past Hope and Will Be Destroyed America Is Favored and Will Never Be Destroyed Facebook oozes with voices claiming to be prophets or mouthpieces for God. The internet teems with...

How The Christian Community Can Change American Politics for Good

How The Christian Community Can Change American Politics for Good

A fascinating discovery has taken place recently in the state of California. Locals there attest that the wildfires that have ravaged the landscape, lives and livelihoods of residents for a decade don’t seem to be getting any better. They seem to be getting worse,...

RECENT ARTICLES

Former Atheist: How the Deconstruction of Your Christian Faith Can Actually Strengthen It

Best-selling author Lee Strobel, an atheist and investigative journalist who failed to disprove the resurrection of Jesus during two years of digging for evidence, believes Christians who properly...
Rod Parsley: Are You the Pharisee or the Tax Collector?

Rod Parsley: Are You the Pharisee or the Tax Collector?

As with all virtues, humility has an opposite: pride. It should not surprise us that revival and restoration begins with humility, because all “falling away” begins with pride. Pride sent the archangel Lucifer plummeting from the heights of glorious splendor near the...

What to Do with an Urgent Warning from the Lord

What to Do with an Urgent Warning from the Lord

Many people are receiving urgent warnings from the Lord about things taking place in the earth. Releasing those warnings can be difficult. Done the wrong way, people will turn a deaf ear and the last thing you want to do is breed fear. Maybe you aren't getting...

Prophetic Word: ‘You Will Taste the Rain of Heaven’

Prophetic Word: ‘You Will Taste the Rain of Heaven’

Get ready for a supernatural strength to take over the land. It is time for worldwide revival and for you to reclaim what God has promised. Don’t back down and give in to despair. God’s plan is in motion. I heard the Lord say, “The enemy has brought discouragement and...

Mario Murillo: The Fuse to a National Awakening

Mario Murillo: The Fuse to a National Awakening

A lot of churchgoers yearn for soothing sermons. Meanwhile, a growing company seeks to understand authority, brokenness and Resurrection life. Who are these “others” who have their eyes wide open? They are too loud for most. They pray longer and deeper than what is...

The Value of the Golden Aged Among Us

The Value of the Golden Aged Among Us

Sarah bore Isaac when she was 90 years old. Moses led the Israelites out of bondage when he was 80. God cared for them, carried them, and used them! If you are nearing or are already in your golden years, don’t despair. You have much to offer to those behind you. You...

Pin It on Pinterest