How God Made Me New

by | Aug 13, 2015 | Woman

When I walked through those church doors with Travis and the girls for the first time in many years, fear filled my heart.

For some reason, I was completely terrified. But even greater than my fear was my desperation. My last shred of hope was that God could help me. I was so surrounded by darkness—around and within—that I wondered if others could actually see it. I was a complete mess, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I had no more answers. All my options had been exhausted. And I could not save myself this time.

I never thought it was possible for God to show Himself, but I was wrong. As I listened to the pastor preach, I was entirely astounded and surprised to hear a sermon that seemed to have been written just for me. The message spoke to where I was that exact moment, and it blew my mind. It was powerful, beyond anything I had ever experienced, and I thought, The sheer probability of that alone is crazy!

Travis and I met Pastor Dan after the service. He gave us a mug filled with goodies and a pamphlet introducing newcomers to Grace. I read the pamphlet as I lay in bed that night next to Travis. Most of it seemed innocuous enough, but I was a bit startled when I read their belief statement. One by one, I read the list—thinking, these people are crazy!—while fear and defeat gripped me by the throat. What if this is simply yet another rabbit trail, like all the others?

I wondered. What if I never get better? In all my searching, all my pursuits to get better, I continually came up empty-handed. And, in that moment, it seemed this pursuit would be just like all the others. It was yet another mirage promising life that would soon reveal itself to be a lie.

“Can you read this?” I said to Travis, passing the pamphlet to him.

He read through the pamphlet as I stared at him, anxiously waiting for him to reel back in disbelief as I had. But when he finished, he simply handed it back to me and said, “It’s good.”

It’s good? At the very least, I expected Travis to call some of these crazy beliefs into question, but he didn’t. He didn’t question their belief in the validity of the Bible—that it’s completely inspired by God and free of all error. He didn’t dispute the claim that there is only one way to heaven, through the blood of Jesus, though it seemed ludicrous to believe the blood of some guy who lived thousands of years ago could “save” us. Nor did he balk at the one belief that really had my head spinning—the claim that all other world religions are false, a result of Satan’s deception.

“So you believe this stuff?” I asked.

“Yeah. There’s nothing weird in there.”

I set the pamphlet down on my nightstand and pondered anxiously a few moments before picking it up again. I couldn’t stop myself. I had to read it again. Perhaps I was mistaken. Perhaps there’s a different way to look at it. Travis—noticing my irrational behavior and knowing me well enough to realize I was thinking entirely way too much—asked, “What are you doing?”

“I just don’t know how these people can believe this stuff. I mean it’s just—”

“Do you know what you need to do?” he interrupted.


“You need to get up, take that pamphlet, throw it away, and go back to church next Sunday.”

I was a bit stunned by Travis’s response, but I complied.

We went back to church the following Sunday and every Sunday after that, each time fully expecting the God-thing to be a fluke. How could a God so grand and so holy take notice of mere man? I thought. But time and again, Jesus faithfully showed Himself.


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


Joseph Mattera: 7 Traits of the Sown Life

Joseph Mattera: 7 Traits of the Sown Life

Paul said he was a "drink offering." This meant that he offered his very life, spirit, soul, and body, to the Lord and to His church as a "living sacrifice" (Num. 15:4-10; 2 Tim. 4:6; Rom. 12:1-2). He also said he not only "spent" but "was spent" for the gospel (2...

Michael Youssef: How You Can Prepare for Christ’s Return

Michael Youssef: How You Can Prepare for Christ’s Return

If you do an internet search asking questions such as "What does the Bible teach about hell?" some of the first few results will be from false teachers. Here are the titles of webpages that popped up at the top of my search: "Hell Is Not a Biblical Concept." "Jesus...

How You Can Activate Your Inner Warrior

How You Can Activate Your Inner Warrior

Did you know if you are a “born again believer in Christ Jesus” there is a warrior inside you? That’s right, you have an inner warrior. Sometimes you need to push pause. Sometimes you need to sit down and count the cost. There is a time to reevaluate. There is a time...

Prophecy: The Lord Says, ‘I Have Reset Time in Your Favor’

Prophecy: The Lord Says, ‘I Have Reset Time in Your Favor’

In the early morning of September 1, 2022, an angel of the Lord came to me. He was the most beautiful angel I had ever seen. He was probably 20 feet tall, had long, flowing dark hair and great, enormous wings. The night was around him, and stars were dancing all about...

Now or Never: It’s ‘Go Time’ For the Body of Christ

Now or Never: It’s ‘Go Time’ For the Body of Christ

Have you been feeling hopeless, sick, depressed, anxious or fearful over the course of these past two years? The enemy of our souls has been turning up the heat every way possible. But his plan is failing and we must remember, especially during the intensity of these...


This Coach Can Help You Destroy Your Addiction to Pornography

Let’s talk about a subject most people want to avoid. Let’s talk about pornography. According to Covenant Eyes, statistics show that 28,258 users are watching pornography every second, and 20% of...
The Real Truth About the Marriage of Politics and Faith

The Real Truth About the Marriage of Politics and Faith

As I look back, I realize that God has given me a career path with some rather unique experiences. I have built bridges at the intersection of faith and government my whole life, and I have learned that serving people through a role in government can be just as...

Joyce Meyer: Winning the Battle Against Satan in Your Mind

Joyce Meyer: Winning the Battle Against Satan in Your Mind

If you have received Christ as your Savior, then you have an enemy. Did you know that? I know some people feel uncomfortable talking about the devil, but he is real and it’s important for us to face the truth about him so we can have a victorious life in Christ. Now,...

Pin It on Pinterest