I still remember my cousin’s words when my little brother died. “I feel bad for Uncle. That was his only son. Well, except for Darcy.” I grew up in a large Italian family full of construction workers.
From the time I was a little girl, I wanted to be like the boys. I wanted to play in the dirt, blow things up, climb trees and fight. My dad always taught me to throw the first punch. By the time I was twenty-five, I could roof a house by myself.
Then I found the Lord. I knew him a little as a girl but never really chased him until after my marriage fell apart. Once His presence came close I began to soften.
It was not exactly okay to haul someone outside of the church and settle our differences. I had to press into the Lord in order to find a new way to carry myself. I think back to some of those poor souls who came in contact with me in the beginning and smile now. They were so patient! So, what have I learned from allowing the Lord to make me into a lady?
1. There is nothing as strong as gentleness: You can disarm any force of darkness coming at you with the fruits of the spirit. People who are angry or demonized are coming toward you almost expecting you to respond in kind. When you softly love them back, they melt.
2. God is the one responsible: In all of those years trying to be a boy, I was trying to fix things. To take on the burdens of the world, society and even the Kingdom. But I did not have to do God’s job. God is the healer, provider, disciplinarian, protector etc. I do not have to try to do any of those things for myself or others and I will be bitter if I try.
3. It’s ok to let others lead: Again, when I let others lead, they also get the responsibility. Sometimes the weight we take on ourselves is really weighing us down and causing us worry. Going low gives the grace of God a chance to be activated in our lives.
4. It’s wonderful to be a girl: The enemy did everything he could to steal my femininity. Each and every time I go get my hair or nails done I kick him in the teeth. I am being what God created me to be and he cannot have that!
5. Love is much more fun than fighting: I have been given new and creative ways by the Holy Spirit to love on people. Each time I get into a disagreement or misunderstanding with someone, I ask God, “How can I love them?” Within a day or so, he gives me a creative idea of how to bless them. Then I realize why we are told to bless those that curse us, because love truly is who we were created to be.
Darcy Lagana operates Square Ministries as part of the Global Awakening Network of Ministries and works full time for nationally syndicated Christian Radio.