Have a New Teenager in Five Minutes

by | May 14, 2013 | Woman

If you parent a teenager, you know how a cold shoulder from your own flesh and blood can cloud the brightest of days and weigh your spirit down with feelings of sadness, guilt and downright misery. And you’ll do anything to bring it to an end.

Or will you?

Recently I found myself exasperated with one of my teenagers, to the tune of veins popping out of my neck. My voice was elevated until the phone rang—it was a call from a member of our church congregation. I answered the phone and heard myself change voices like one changes channels with the click of a remote. The lady must have thought I was the sweetest thing on the planet.

My daughter observed it all, and I could read her mind: If only she knew.

A while later, I made the journey down two flights of stairs to the basement bedroom where my grown girl hides away. I knocked softly and was granted entrance. I sat before her, took her hands and said, “I want you to know that there is something wrong when I speak to you differently from the way I speak to people at church. I was wrong, and I am sorry. I want to work on that.”

And then I forced a painful lump of words through my throat: “Will you forgive me?”

She did, and I had a new teenager in five minutes. Warmth flooded in where there’d been icy separation.

Due to my own insecurities and those places in my soul that God is still in the process of redeeming, there are times I feel 1-inch tall, depending on who I’m around. In the company of one or two certain individuals, I am the world’s biggest klutz, am guaranteed to do or say something stupid, and have a brain the size of a pea. I’d just as soon hide away a while; it’s less painful.

While I was feeling that way recently, my other teenager happened to be in “impossible mode.” I was typically at a loss as to how to get her out of it, and I was also dealing with my own aforementioned social anxiety. In a quiet moment, I felt as if God spoke to me: “You should understand the way she feels.”

A light came on quick enough to send me running to her side with this confession: “I think God is telling me something about our relationship. I make you feel like you can’t do anything right, don’t I?” (Instant tears.) “My condescending tone makes you feel very small and guaranteed to get into trouble, doesn’t it?” (Flowing tears.)

I hugged her and fully owned my garbage. And again, I had a new teenager in five minutes.

I don’t mean to downplay something that in many cases is much more complex than I can understand. Some teenagers have issues too deep for a five-minute apology. But I do know one thing. We cannot afford to undervalue the power of uttering what I believe are the 10 most difficult, yet most rewarding words in a relationship: “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”


Adapted from Faith Bogdan’s blog. She is the author of Who Are All These Children and Why Are They Calling Me Mom? (Charisma House).

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Anne Graham Lotz: One Kingdom Truth That Will Never Change

Anne Graham Lotz: One Kingdom Truth That Will Never Change

Out of respect for those of you who have taken the time to comment about a statement I made 11 years ago regarding the World Economic Forum, I thought it would be beneficial to restate God’s call on my life. In 1988, He made it clear that I was to be His messenger,...

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Only Pulpits Have the Power to Change America

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Only Pulpits Have the Power to Change America

One thing is crystal clear in America: If we truly want change, we must re-spark biblical boldness and flame the fires of biblical action. If we won't fight, then spiritually speaking, we will fade away. I recently attended a large gathering of pastors in San Diego...

A Big Excuse That Shuts Down Our Ability to Hear from God

A Big Excuse That Shuts Down Our Ability to Hear from God

One of the biggest excuses we have is that we somehow feel God doesn’t speak to us. This excuse shuts down our ability to hear from Him, trust Him and surrender to Him. All three things are integral when we are trying to change our habits, lose weight, get healthy and...

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

Two weeks ago, I shared several practical guidelines on how to leave a church gracefully. I wrote this because I hear so many stories about people storming out of churches because their feelings got hurt. But one astute reader didn’t appreciate my observations because...

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

“Behold, the day of the LORD comes, cruel, with both wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate; and He will destroy its sinners from it. For the stars of heaven and their constellations will not give their light; the sun will be darkened in its going forth, and...

How You Can Plead the Blood of Jesus in the Courts of Heaven

How You Can Plead the Blood of Jesus in the Courts of Heaven

You have an enemy. His goal is to keep you from entering a covenant relationship with God. However, once you do, his goal changes. He wants to make you doubt your identity, doubt God’s ability and keep you from walking in your purpose. He changes his accusations...

Why God Will Sometimes Hesitate to Give Your Mountain

Why God Will Sometimes Hesitate to Give Your Mountain

Recently, I was having a discussion over coffee with a group of friends when one of them asked the question: “Can you believe how much the world has changed in what seems to be a very short time?” My answer was: “Yes. Yes, I have no problem believing how much the...

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

If a person were to ask, “Why speak in tongues?” couldn’t we also ask, “Why pray?” The Word of God shows a definite value in praying with an unknown tongue. Jesus tells us that “it is necessary always to pray” (Luke 18:1, MEV). Later, in speaking of prayer, Paul...

RECENT ARTICLES

What ‘The Jetsons’ and Cindy Jacobs Prophetically Got Right

Just as the 1960s cartoon The Jetsons depicted a future full of video phones, robotics and Google-style office space, some modern-day prophets have prophesied about a future full of exposing...
The Blueprints for Building a Powerful and Abundant Life for Jesus

The Blueprints for Building a Powerful and Abundant Life for Jesus

Have you ever seen blueprints? If not, blueprints are detailed drawings, containing specifications approved by the builder of a home. A blueprint fully outlines the quality of the materials needed to build a stable and trustworthy home. For a Christian, the Bible is...

9 Reasons Why God Never Tries to Prove His Existence

9 Reasons Why God Never Tries to Prove His Existence

God is self-authenticating. He never tries to prove His existence because it is already evident through the created order. Since He is the only objective being, all other living and nonliving objects emanate from His creative fiat word hence all reasoning (different...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]