Because of the ashleymadison.com cyber hack, there is a massive amount of upheaval in the homes of many who were registered in the database. I read sadly last week, as many did, about Josh Duggar, who admitted to having extramarital affairs—thanks in part to the morally corrupt website whose motto is: “Life is short. Have an affair.”
A better slogan to their website could have been: “Life is short. We will help you ruin yours.”
Beneath the slime of the slogan and the website’s mission are perhaps millions of individuals who bought the lie that an extramarital affair would somehow add excitement to their lives.
Make no mistake that Josh Duggar was not the only professed Christian who signed up for this devastating product. Because of this breach, families are being destroyed. This should be a call to action for our churches.
The void everyone felt as they typed their credit card information into the website could have been filled within their own marriage. Imagine if they had taken that $249 and invested in a date with their spouse!
As a society, we have strayed so far from morality that we forsake our vows for our own pleasure without a second thought. Is this happiness? Is this worth it? Marriage was not designed to be a social status that we honor only for convenience or tax purposes. It is a holy covenant before God, vowing to commit your life to another completely. If you are married, perhaps this is what you promised on your wedding day:
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.
These words hold weight and importance, and when broken, they devastate the individual who believed them. Pornography addictions, extramarital affairs and one night stands are not the problems that are destroying marriages; they are merely symptoms. The heart of the problem is that we have bought the lie that intimacy is sex and nothing more.
The Ashley Madison users have certainly fallen into this trap, and there is a huge need for God’s people to take action. The Bible offers complete guidelines for how to have a successful marriage. These are not guidelines to be cherry picked. They must be followed completely in order to have emotional intimacy with your mate, exciting sex and prolonged happiness.
Church, this is a great time of opportunity for us to help a world heal from the devastation of adultery. Let us teach that the foundation of any successful marriage is intimacy with God first and each other second. Let us show by example that marriage done God’s way isn’t an antiquated approach, but rather a relevant model for success. May we not be found straying from our own spouses, but may we invest in our marriages selflessly to keep the covenant that we made before a Holy God. I, married 11 years with four children, pledge to do the same.
Autumn Miles is author of Appointed, in which she shares her story of escaping an abusive marriage. She is also the founder and CEO of The Blush Network, a women’s ministry dedicated to spiritually challenging the way women think. For more information, visit autumnmiles.com.