7 Tips for Relief When You’re Drowning in Parenting Pain

by | Jul 18, 2019 | Woman

Summer is here. I live in Florida, an hour from the beach. There’s danger in the waters, and it’s not always from a sea creature. We hear tragic reports of drownings from a different kind of danger: rip currents. As I thought about this, I realized something: parents of troubled teens or adults (due to alcohol or drugs, jail, mental illness, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, homosexual desires and so on) feel like they’re caught in a rip current.

I’ve been there. I know. We feel as though we’re drowning—emotionally, mentally and spiritually. We need the help of a special kind of lifeguard—a heavenly one!

I did a little research and discovered that rip currents are strong channels of water that flow out to sea from near the shore at a dangerous rate of speed. The average tip travels one to two feet per second and up to eight feet per second. In a moment, they can drag an unsuspecting swimmer away from the safety of shallow waters.

People who get caught in rips tend to panic and drown from exhaustion because they fight against the fast-moving current. Even in waist deep water, they can be dragged out where they can’t stand. Weak swimmers without a flotation device, or who don’t know what to do, are in danger of losing their lives.

Like rip currents, our children’s troubles can sneak up and yank our feet out from under us. If we aren’t strong enough or don’t know what to do, we’ll be dragged out where we’re in over our heads. We’ll find ourselves drowning in fear, guilt, resentment, enabling and more.

We Were Ripped

My husband and I did our best to raise our kids the right way; to give them a godly foundation and a healthy home life. We thought we were in safe waters. But we found ourselves caught in a situation we couldn’t get out of. We had no idea how to make our way back to safety. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t get there. Emotional, physical and spiritual exhaustion set in. We were ripped.

How can you escape from a rip current? Not by doing what feels right in the panic of the moment—trying to swim back to shore against the rip. Swimmers don’t get pulled under in these currents, they get carried out to deep waters where there’s no foothold. The key to survival is to know what to do and be able to do it: First, always swim where there’s a lifeguard on duty. This could save your life! Stay calm and swim parallel to the shore until you’re outside the current. Then you can make your way toward shallow water. Hopefully, a lifeguard will notice you’re in distress and come save you.

7 Ways to Find Relief

Are you caught in a parenting rip current with your child? Have you lost your footing? Are you in a depleted and exhausted condition? I found relief when I did these seven things:

  1. I quit fighting against what was happening.
  2. I got past the shock and denial of the situation.
  3. I faced my fears.
  4. I accepted there was a problem I couldn’t handle.
  5. I stopped trying to rescue my daughter or force her to change.
  6. I surrendered my daughter back to God.
  7. I let go and let God work.

I needed the help of a heavenly lifeguard. With Him, I could do these things and survive. I regained my foothold and found peace. My hopeless-looking situation no longer had control over me.

By His power, I came out of the grip of the rip.

The Help We Need

This wasn’t easy. I had to learn to trust God more with my child until I could lean back in His strong arms, like a heavenly lifeguard. This was where I found freedom from the effects of the rip current. This was how I made my way back to shore, with His wisdom and strength, not mine.

Have you learned to lean back in the Father’s arms and trust Him to hold you up in deep waters? Have you stopped fighting against what’s happening, come out of denial and faced your fears? Have you accepted there’s a problem you can’t solve? Have you let go and surrendered your child back to God?

If you’re in need of rescue, He’s always on duty, ready to dive in and help you in your time of need. He’ll come to your aid on the wings of the wind. You’re never beyond His reach. He knows your need, and when you call on His name, He’ll rescue you. Remember, rescue may not look like you expected, but I promise you, He will come.

This Bible verse has encouraged me many times: “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath you are the everlasting arms” (Deut. 33:27).

Thank you, God. Thank you that you promise to come to my rescue.

Find comfort as you listen to the song, Rescue. {eoa}

Dena Yohe is the author of You Are Not Alone: Hope for Hurting Parents of Troubled Kids (2017). Co-founder of Hope for Hurting Parents, she is a blogger, former pastor’s wife and CRU affiliate staff. She and her husband, Tom, have been guests on “Family Talk With Dr. James Dobson,” “Family Life” with Dennis Rainey” and “Focus on the Family” with Jim Daly. A proud mom of three adult children, she loves being Mimi to her grandchildren. Find out more at HopeForHurtingParents.com.

This article originally appeared at hopeforhurtingparents.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

How Prophetic Evangelism Is Impacting Change in Today’s Culture

How Prophetic Evangelism Is Impacting Change in Today’s Culture

Dr. Candice Smithyman, host of Manifest His Presence on the Charisma Podcast Network, recently interviewed apostle Stacey Campbell, founder of Shiloh Global about how prophecy can impact today’s culture. Apostle Campbell is passionate about teaching young people and...

Joyce Meyer’s Daughter: ‘I Tried Until I Almost Died!’

Joyce Meyer’s Daughter: ‘I Tried Until I Almost Died!’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc14ip0XyOw Growing up as the daughter of Dave and Joyce Meyer, Sandra McCollom knew about God’s goodness and unconditional love. “At eight years old, I remember sitting on the floor as my mom shared her faith with me. That’s when I...

Prophet: 10 Essential Guardrails for Hearing God’s Voice

Prophet: 10 Essential Guardrails for Hearing God’s Voice

In the journey of hearing God's voice today effectively and accurately, you need the practical and personal work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus clearly told his followers that those who hear His words and put them into practice are wise! "Whoever hears these sayings of...

Prophetic Vision: Three Tables Are Set

Prophetic Vision: Three Tables Are Set

Recently as I was worshipping the Lord, I went into a vision where I could see I was in a dark and very deep valley. It was nighttime, and the valley was surrounded by tall mountains. On the top of each I could see the outlines of men and instinctively knew they were...

How Your Apostolic and Prophetic Worship Will Hurt the Enemy

How Your Apostolic and Prophetic Worship Will Hurt the Enemy

We are living in a time where it seems that dreams and visions are accelerating. The enemy fights against prophetic insight being poured out according to Joel 2:28-32. Numerous deliverance ministries have risen up to combat the ‘Pandora's box’ that was released in...

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Do you think the God of the Old Testament is a God of wrath, and the God of the New Testament is a God of love? The truth is that God is the same throughout the entire Bible. His wrath and His love are revealed in both the Old and the New Testaments. So why, then, did...

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

Your heart is the most important part of you. It’s not only a physical organ that keeps your blood pumping, but when the Bible refers to the heart, it’s talking about who you really are. Each person has an inner and an outer life. There’s the person we show to...

RECENT ARTICLES

Cindy Jacobs Prophesies: The Lord Says, ‘Am I Not the Mender of Broken Hearts?’

I was just praying and asking the Lord, “How can I encourage you all today?” I know there are so many challenges out there, but this is what the Lord said to me. The Lord said, “There are some...
How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

It's been a few days since the FBI raided President Donald Trump's home in Mar-a-Lago, and the Biden Administration has yet to explain to the American people why they did what's never been done in American history—the government raiding the home of a former president....

Why Partial Obedience to God is Disobedience

Why Partial Obedience to God is Disobedience

My husband had a saying for our children growing up. “Partial obedience is disobedience.” He wanted them to understand that doing half the plan would not get them the full reward. Another reminder we used to tell our kids was, “Don’t think about it, don’t hesitate,...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]