6 Ways to Respond to the Threat of Divorce

by | Jul 31, 2000 | Woman

There would be so much less disappointment if every time someone tied the knot, it was to the right person picked especially by God. But the fact is, when God gave us freedom of choice, He gave us the ability to make bad decisions, including bad decisions about whom to marry.

I remember working with Stephanie two years into her horrible marriage. Three years prior, two men came into her life at the same time.

One was everything most women would want in a mate. He wasn’t perfect, but his character and maturity were intact.

The other man had a borderline personality disorder—seductive at times and aloof at others. Stephanie picked the one with the personality disorder. Later, she acknowledged her mistake, took responsibility to make the best of the situation and found a way to have a fulfilling life, even though she was married to Mr. Wrong.

If you’ve made a mistake like the one Stephanie made, you probably feel trapped and discouraged as she did. You may be angry with God for not protecting you or bitter toward your parents because they didn’t prepare you to make good decisions.

You might be wondering whether God loves you or cares what happens to you. You know some wives whose husbands were delivered from their “Mr. Wrong-ness.” You want that for your husband, but it does not seem possible.

There Is Something You Can Do

When you start working on what you can do rather than focusing on what God is not doing, your relationship will probably change. There are actions you can take other than giving up and leaving.

However, if the image of a good marriage is more important to you than fixing your marriage, I don’t think you have much hope for change. Hope comes when you are willing to do whatever it takes to save your marriage and initiate healing.

You will first have to discover if your husband has already divorced you and is just waiting for you to fill out the paperwork. Many men divorce their wives physically, emotionally and spiritually, even though the marriage still exists legally on paper. Some women live like this for years while he leads a separate life, married to his job, pornography, money or just about anything that allows him to flee intimacy with his wife.

Prayer and intercession can turn the circumstances around, but your husband has to be willing. The worst thing is for you to try to have a marriage with a man who has separated his life from you but has never informed you that he is no longer there.

In Matthew 19, Christ clearly states His desire for marriages to stay together. He does, however, present the exception of adultery.

I am not for divorce. God hates it, and I hate it. But God also hates to see women being abandoned and deceived.

If your husband has already “left,” ask him to either complete the paperwork on the divorce he has already declared or work with you to rebuild your marriage. If he agrees to work with you, there are actions you can take that have helped many women and may help you.

Before You Say Goodbye

If your husband is still in the marriage and you are willing to do whatever it takes, you are ready to follow these steps:

1. Obtain counseling and support for you and your children. You need to find out what it is in you that attracted you to him. Discovering your hidden motivations will strengthen you for a new and dynamic marriage or for the possibility of a painful separation or divorce. Surround yourself with loving and wise female friends who will be there when you need them.

Your children are as confused and hurt as you; maybe more. But they do not have to turn out to be victims of this crisis. A third party can help them resolve their feelings and even grow from the experience.

2. Nag no more. Decide that if anything negative needs to be said to your husband, God will bring someone else along to tell him.

Nagging and negative talk accomplish nothing. Refusing to play his game or respond in anger will instantly change the way he thinks of you.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Do you think the God of the Old Testament is a God of wrath, and the God of the New Testament is a God of love? The truth is that God is the same throughout the entire Bible. His wrath and His love are revealed in both the Old and the New Testaments. So why, then, did...

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

Your heart is the most important part of you. It’s not only a physical organ that keeps your blood pumping, but when the Bible refers to the heart, it’s talking about who you really are. Each person has an inner and an outer life. There’s the person we show to...

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

It's been a few days since the FBI raided President Donald Trump's home in Mar-a-Lago, and the Biden Administration has yet to explain to the American people why they did what's never been done in American history—the government raiding the home of a former president....

How the Holy Spirit Can Restore Your True Sanity

How the Holy Spirit Can Restore Your True Sanity

Most of my life I tried to avoid one thing—being crazy or insane. When I was growing up my mother had emotional issues and saw a psychiatrist regularly. She was on medication which only seemed to make her mood swings worse. She had high highs, and low lows. When I...

Israel Prophecy: The Enemy is Stirring an Unimaginable Conflict

Israel Prophecy: The Enemy is Stirring an Unimaginable Conflict

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJFFqAgykmU A cease-fire between Israel and Palestinian militants took effect late Sunday in a bid to end nearly three days of violence that killed dozens of Palestinians and disrupted the lives of hundreds of thousands of Israelis,...

RECENT ARTICLES

Why Partial Obedience to God is Disobedience

My husband had a saying for our children growing up. “Partial obedience is disobedience.” He wanted them to understand that doing half the plan would not get them the full reward. Another reminder...
Kingdom Economics: Why is America Declining Spiritually So Quickly?

Kingdom Economics: Why is America Declining Spiritually So Quickly?

The Bureau of Labor Statistics released a surprisingly strong July Employment Report.  Total nonfarm employment was 528K (398K previously, 250K expected).  Private nonfarm employment was 471K (404K previously, 230K expected). The headline unemployment rate dropped to...

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

The wind is a funny thing. We do not know where it comes from nor where it goes. We cannot see it, but we can see and feel its effects. Wind can be gentle and refreshing, cold or hot, strong, and dangerous, and everything in between. When the wind blows, we must...

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

It is interesting that, as a Messianic rabbi the question I am asked most often by Christians is if I believe that they as Christians have to celebrate, or observe, the biblical Holy Days. They are usually asking about those days listed in Leviticus 23: Shabbat, Yom...

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

As the crackdown against Christianity in America grows, it is a cycle believers have seen before. While no one celebrates their religious freedom coming under attack, God has used this persecution to great effect throughout history. Over the centuries, there have been...

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Change can be challenging. Some people look forward to change and embrace it. Some people dread change and try to avoid it. Since change is inevitable, so here are some of the dynamics surrounding change and the specific strategies to deal with change more...

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

This past weekend I preached at The Roads Church, a charismatic congregation located in the tiny town of Norris City, Illinois. Located amid cornfields, the population is only 1,325, but almost that many people visit the church on weekends. They come from all over...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]