10 Signs of a Bitter Woman

by | Mar 30, 2015 | Woman

She held the small booklet in front of my face and shook it as she spoke emphatically. Her tone was angry, but not quite to the volume of yelling. “How dare you hand this out! How dare you ask women to study this book! I will NOT be attending, and I doubt any of the other women will!”

At 21 years old, I had never come face to face with a “subterranean” before. This was my first encounter. Subterraneans work below the surface, have a destructive impact on the church body and may appear on the surface as your biggest supporter. I didn’t have a clue about “subterraneans” when I was growing up; in fact, I was so naïve when I became a pastor’s wife that I was still under the delusion that most people in church were Christians.

I believed that Christians usually acted like Jesus. I had a lot to learn.

The dangerous booklet I passed out was Dawson Trotman’s Born to Reproduce. (You can read it yourself here.) It was a simple booklet on evangelism and discipleship. It’s been a helpful resource for about six decades. She didn’t tell me why she opposed the booklet, and I didn’t ask her.

I just stood there with my mouth open, dumbfounded and silent.

This poor woman kept to her word and never attended any of the Bible studies, even when I used more “acceptable” literature. It was a small church, and my husband was the pastor and sole staff member. Traditionally, the church had been deacon-board-led rather than elder-led, and her husband was chairman of the board of deacons. She is no longer living, and I’ve not had contact with her since we left that church in the early 1980s, but I hope that she didn’t continue in life as bitter and unhappy as she appeared to be when I knew her.

Bitterness is often a characteristic of the “subterranean.” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, take a look at my brief description below. This profile isn’t complete, but these are some marks of the “subterranean.”

Marks of a “Subterranean”:

  • Has rigid and narrow parameters for what is acceptable
  • Has “control issues”—if things vary from their acceptable parameters, they will inflict some form of emotional punishment.
  • Grabs for positions of authority
  • Can appear “spiritual” and usually functions in several positions in the church body
  • Views their area of responsibility as a position of unquestionable authority
  • Needs to be “in the know” and makes sure they are aware (and approving) of all discussions and decisions
  • Works behind the scenes (and at times publicly) to influence others when disagreeing with church leadership
  • Manipulates and pressures others to comply with their agenda
  • Uses the tongue to divide when a coalition forms that is not under their influence
  • Is not easily detected; may be the individual you least expect

What Should We Do About “Subterraneans?”

We must guard our own hearts and minds—knowing that we can be deceived or indulge in sinful suspicions and destructive paranoia. We can react in unrighteous anger and are susceptible to the same sins as the “subterranean,” so we must continually remind ourselves that we are in a spiritual battle and are not at war with any individuals; our battle is with spiritual forces:

“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12).

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Why America Must Adopt the Battle Cry of Isaiah

Why America Must Adopt the Battle Cry of Isaiah

A battle cry is used to summon armies to war. A loud, unified shout could intimidate the strongest of enemies. Confidence in battle often tilts the scale toward victory, whereas timidity, fear and cowardliness will surely lead to defeat. In these dreadful times, don’t...

Intentionally Raising a Godly Generation

Intentionally Raising a Godly Generation

Debbie put her faith in Christ at age 11. In fact, her whole family met Jesus at just about the same time. As her parents began growing in their faith, they nurtured growth in their children as well. Family Bible reading, prayer and talking about God’s leading in...

Dream Big: How to Cultivate Divine Revelation While You Sleep

Dream Big: How to Cultivate Divine Revelation While You Sleep

Do you have any dreams from God that you have allowed to fall by the wayside? For some of you, it’s time to dream again. For some of you, it’s time to dust off your previous dreams. For some of you, it’s important to realize God is not late; He’s always on time. For...

Prophecy: God Is Bringing About Swift Turnarounds

Prophecy: God Is Bringing About Swift Turnarounds

In the month of August, God is bringing swift turnarounds so that your hard places will become a wide-open field. God is bringing about divine connections in order to strengthen the body of Christ. He is releasing faith for radical generosity, divine strategy to...

End-Times Truth: The Rapture Reveals a Split Church

End-Times Truth: The Rapture Reveals a Split Church

There are several resurrections and raptures in the Bible. I cannot understand those who argue that because there is no mention of the word "rapture" in the Bible they do not believe in it. They only believe in the Second Coming of the Lord. Some arguments are no...

Charisma Highlights: 7 Abilities for a New Agility in This Era

Charisma Highlights: 7 Abilities for a New Agility in This Era

Following are snippets of the top stories posted on charismamag.com over the past week. We encourage you to visit the links to read the stories in full. 7 Abilities for a New Agility in This Era The Lord first began speaking to me about the release of seven abilities...

As a Believer, Have You Been Hiding During This Culture War?

As a Believer, Have You Been Hiding During This Culture War?

Many years ago, Jesus went up on a mountain, sat down, and spoke to the group he was with: “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all...

RECENT ARTICLES

10 Traits of Effective Churches During the Global Pandemic

In the past few years, the global pandemic has exposed the weaknesses of many local churches. Friends from around the world have told me that many churches have closed their doors for good. Although...
The Supernatural Secrets of Real Revival

The Supernatural Secrets of Real Revival

What does an authentic world-igniting revival look like? And, how are the seeds of revival planted? This we can learn from the life and work of William Joseph Seymour—God’s chosen vessel and apostle of the Azusa Street Revival.  Bishop William Joseph Seymour, was a...

Spiritually Speaking, How Healthy Is Your Heart?

Spiritually Speaking, How Healthy Is Your Heart?

Once a year, I go to the doctor and get a check-up. And every time, one of the things they do is check my heart. A good thorough exam will reveal if there are any problems that need to be addressed before a heart condition arises. I believe we need to do the same...

How You Can Begin to Heal From Unanswered Prayer

How You Can Begin to Heal From Unanswered Prayer

The best way to grow in the prophetic is to look at the past. As backwards as that sounds, Revelation 19:10 tells us, “For the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophecy.” In other translations, this is said, “For the essence of prophecy is to give a clear witness...

Living in the Tension of Two Distinct Worlds

Living in the Tension of Two Distinct Worlds

As a professional counselor, I have consoled hundreds of Christians through some of the most horrific life circumstances. Along with experiencing my own trials in life, it has caused me to deeply ponder the words of Scripture that refer to how we must learn to live in...

Kingdom Economics: Who Do You Trust?

Kingdom Economics: Who Do You Trust?

The Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) released its first of three estimates for second quarter Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Second-quarter inflation-adjusted (real) GDP fell at an annual rate of 0.9%, compared to a drop of 1.6% in the first quarter, and pre-report...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]