The Secret to End Your Frustration and Disappointment With People

by | Sep 6, 2016 | Purpose & Identity

Maybe you’ve said it before—I know that I have: “I’m frustrated … I’m disappointed … I’m upset … because he/she/they aren’t meeting my needs.”

This complaint often stems from the idea that we were each born with certain requirements that must be met in order to feel fulfilled or even loved. These include desires like affirming words, security, attention or even gifts.

The Source of Needs

To be sure, God did create us with needs. The most obvious are food, water and shelter. Others are emotional such as acceptance, love and value. It’s certainly understandable that if you don’t experience these needs that you might feel unfulfilled.

But all too often, what we think we need aren’t things that God created us to need at all, but are actually the results of bad life experiences. For example, because I experienced much rejection in my youth, I later craved affirmation as an adult. I felt I needed people to recognize or tell me how good I was at something. When I got affirmed, I felt fulfilled. If I didn’t, I felt not good enough. The truth I later learned is that God didn’t create me to need affirmation. Quite the opposite, really; He wanted me to be delivered from the need of affirmation.

The Secret to Fulfillment

Here’s a heads up: Nobody is employed to be the babysitter of your happiness—not your friends, not your spouse not your co-workers. Nobody. If you’re depending on people to fill some tank of needs, then you’ll constantly live on a roller coaster of great highs and great lows.

Certainly, it would be wonderful if others would be so considerate to think about recognizing you more, spending more time with you or maybe being a better listener. But you can’t be let down, upset or even angry if and when people don’t. You alone are responsible for feeling fulfilled. And the secret to getting there is to recognize that God is your provider. After all, His name is Jehovah Jireh, which means “the Lord will provide.”

Need to feel valued? 1 Corinthians 7:23 declares, “You were bought at a price.”

Need to feel loved? Romans 8:39 affirms, “(Nothing) shall be able to separate us from the love of God.”

Need to feel accepted? Look at Ephesians 1:4: “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless before Him in love.”

I could go on and on.

Let People Off the Hook

Ultimately, these aren’t needs that any one person can perfectly provide you—even if they wanted to. No, only God perfectly satisfies these needs.

You’ll end so much of your frustration and disappointment just by letting people off the hook for a job they can’t possibly fulfill. The day you decide that your needs are met in the Lord is the day you’ll experience real and lasting fulfillment. {eoa}

Kyle Winkler equips people to live in victory. His mobile app, Shut Up, Devil!, is the No. 1 spiritual warfare app; and his recent scripture confessions album, Experience Freedom, has helped thousands identify with the truths of God’s Word. Kyle holds a Master of Divinity in biblical studies from Regent University. Get daily encouragement from Kyle on Facebook and Twitter.


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