Believers Should Lay This Aside and Simply Reflect Love

by | Jul 15, 2015 | Purpose & Identity

Love doesn’t manifest in us as it should because we feel we are due respect. We aren’t owed anything.

Jesus didn’t go around demanding respect. It is pride that brings forth the attitude that we are owed respect. Think about it. Why do we have dissension and offense in the church? Because people (both leaders and members) feel they are owed something. We are to be love and give love, with humility, not with a debt that needs to be paid.

In the New Testament Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another,” (John 13:34, MEV).

Jesus commands us to love one another. How does love manifest in you and through you? Love should manifest through the fruits of the Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self-control; against such there is no law” (Gal. 5:22-23). 

If we are demanding respect and behaving as if we are better than the person next to us, then how are we manifesting love? Love manifests through putting other people ahead of ourselves and making them feel like they are the most important person in the world. 

Every person alive is created in the image of God. We should be treating each person as special as God would treat them. God loves each human and values their life. He cares about their opinions, feelings, and the things that are affecting them. If we desire to be the kind of love that Jesus was shouldn’t we think of everyone as equally if not more important than ourselves? But too often we think of ourselves too highly and that is where pride, offense, dissension and disunity affect our churches, communities, homes and workplaces.

What if we looked at the grocery store clerk as a child of God instead of someone who needs to hurry up and check out our purchases? What about the waiter in the restaurant? Demands are put on them to make sure our order is hot, right and doesn’t take too long to cook.

What about when the food order doesn’t turn out like it should? Do we yell, get upset or rude, or do we represent the God of love and have understanding that they didn’t cook the order and it wasn’t their fault? Instead of looking at them as a son of God people usually reduce their tip because their meal isn’t what they hoped for.

Did you ever think of representing the kingdom properly when something didn’t turn out your way and bless the waiter anyway? Think about how that would impact them with God’s love. They might say something like, “Oh wow! I was in a bad mood, I ordered wrong, the kitchen messed up their order and they gave me the same amount of tip.” That might really impact the waiter and make him think, “Why did they do that?”

We go through life feeling we are owed something, whether it is respect, fast and perfect service or a place and position of prominence. Do we always give those things? Of course, we don’t! We aren’t perfect in all we do. We aren’t always respectful and allowing loving thoughts to come out of our mouth, holding our tongue and being love to the person. We don’t always elevate other people ahead of ourselves and give them a position of prominence.

When we feel we are owed respect it causes dissension and disunity within the church. The complaint I hear more than anything else is, “My pastor didn’t respect my anointing,” “He didn’t let me minister or release that prophetic word,” or “He didn’t implement my idea.” What are those statements filled with? They are filled with I and self, self-exaltation and pride.

Statements such as these are filled with exalt me and give me a position of visibility, so people can see what you are doing. These are not humble statements. Statements of humility don’t care if you are recognized. True humility will extend love and not self.

As we go forward in ministry and in the commission God has given all of us individually, we need to self-examine and destroy the feelings within us that desire this respect so badly. We should be kind, nice and exude the fruits of the spirit. But when we feel we are owed something or someone disrespects us we need to ask ourselves why we feel that way to begin with.

After all the Bible says, “Create in me a clean heart” (Ps. 51:10). Let’s look inward before we look outward.

Kathy DeGraw is the founder of DeGraw Ministries a ministry releasing the love and power of God. She travels hosting conferences, teaching schools and evangelistic love tours. Kathy enjoys writing and is the author of several books that educate, empower and equip people, including A Worship Woven Life and Flesh, Satan or God. Connect with Kathy at


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


Kingdom Economics: Choosing a Better Way—God’s Way

Kingdom Economics: Choosing a Better Way—God’s Way

The Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) released its third and final estimate of second quarter GDP (Gross Domestic Product) and its PCE (Personal Consumption Expenditure Price Index). Since core (less food and energy) PCE is one of the Fed’s preferred measures of...

Orthodox Jew: The Miraculous Return of the Red Heifer to Israel

Orthodox Jew: The Miraculous Return of the Red Heifer to Israel

Read Time: 4 Minutes, 4 Seconds American Airlines flight 146 touched down at Israel’s Ben Gurion airport on time, arriving from New York’s JFK airport as one of the dozens of flights that arrive in Israel from the US daily. While a regularly scheduled flight, among...

Brother Andrew Was My Hero

Brother Andrew Was My Hero

When Andrew van der Bijl was a young man, doctors told him he was “too weak to travel” because of his chronic back pain. That advice seems absurd now, when we look back on the life of this legendary evangelist who came to be known as “Brother Andrew.” After he started...

Messianic Rabbi: The Last Words of Moses, Yeshua—and You

Messianic Rabbi: The Last Words of Moses, Yeshua—and You

As I get older, I find myself reading the Bible and seeing the text as if I was wearing a different pair of glasses. I am not talking about the fact that as I have gotten older, I have actually had to start wearing glasses. I am speaking more of the way I view the...


Prophetic Revivalist: The Significance of the Hebrew Fall Feast Season

We have just entered a new Hebrew month called Tishrei on the Jewish calendar. As we proceed on this month in the celebration of the fall feasts of the Lord, it is vital to know the holy days and...
Elvis Presley’s Charismatic Faith on Display in New Book

Elvis Presley’s Charismatic Faith on Display in New Book

A new book called “The Faith of Elvis Presley” explores the spiritual side of the iconic “Heartbreak Hotel” singer, asserting that Elvis was a devout Christian who prayed for the infilling of the Holy Spirit on a regular basis. The author, Billy Stanley, whose mother...

Joseph Mattera: 7 Traits of the Sown Life

Joseph Mattera: 7 Traits of the Sown Life

Paul said he was a "drink offering." This meant that he offered his very life, spirit, soul, and body, to the Lord and to His church as a "living sacrifice" (Num. 15:4-10; 2 Tim. 4:6; Rom. 12:1-2). He also said he not only "spent" but "was spent" for the gospel (2...

Pin It on Pinterest