10 Ways to Squash Self-Hatred

by | Jun 23, 2016 | Purpose & Identity

Do you truly love and accept who you are? Can you look in the mirror and like what you see?

The Bible teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). This means that we can only love in direct proportion to how we have processed love and acceptance for ourselves. Anytime someone struggles to love others properly, we can be sure there is a realm of self-hate at work within, keeping the flow of love from operating.

Ephesians tells that a man who love his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). We can also know from this verse that a man who does not love his wife does not love himself.

If we do not face the self-hatred issues of our heart, we will struggle with anger and bitterness issues towards those close to us. Worse yet, we will drown in a sea of inward torment.

Many people who are not willing to face their own self-hatred battles end up fabricating acts of love, so that no one will see their inward struggle with self-hatred. Too often we perform in life to cover up for our lack of love and acceptance of who we are.

True Love Squashes Self-Hate

In driving out the work of hate, we welcome the flow of God’s love to come and change lives. The love of God needs to be received in ourselves. Combating self-hatred involves gaining a deep revelation of God’s love and truly accepting that, once and for all. We cannot listen to the enemy’s thoughts that seek to block that reception of love.

1 Corinthians 13 is the guide on the power of love that can drive out the work of hate that keeps you from loving and liking you. Here are 10 ways we can combat self-hatred and receive love for ourselves.

1. Be patient with yourself, “love is patient …” One of the cornerstones of love is patience. Patience expresses the mindset of love. When you are patient with someone else, you are exercising the work of love towards their life. The key is, are you patient with yourself? Do you allow yourself time to grow up, or are you constantly impatient with your journey, wishing you were at some point you are not currently at? Maybe today would be a good time to start exercising patience with yourself. It would even be great to speak words of patience out loud. Being patient with yourself is a great way you can learn to be your own best friend.

2. Be kind to yourself, “love is kind …” The second cornerstone of love is kindness. Patience acts as a buffer in relationships, helping someone feel accepted in their journey. Kindness is intentional actions of love towards someone. Do you intentionally think and say things that are kind towards yourself? Most people spend their day listening to thoughts about themselves that are harsh, accusing, guilt-ridden and down right abusive. If you were to document your thoughts about yourself from the day, would they be uplifting and encouraging? Where can you begin thinking and speaking towards yourself in such a way that is kind? Be kind, you are the only version of you that you have.

3. Stop comparing yourself, “love does not envy …” The worst thing you can do with your brokenness is to compare yourself to any other person. This is always a trap. Whether you feel better about yourself in comparison to someone else or worse than them, you still fall into the trap of the enemy. The saddest thing about comparing yourself to any other person is that you lose the value of who you are on this planet in your own uniqueness. The only image you should compare yourself to is the image God says that you are. Good news: He is patient with you as you grow towards that image!

4. Drop the need to draw attention to yourself “love does not parade itself …” In our brokenness, we can end up doing things to draw attention to ourselves. We do things to elicit attention with the hope that people will love us. The problem is that this excessive neediness drains people, causing them at times to retreat from us. This reinforces the thoughts of rejection and self-hate that say we are worthless and unlovable. When we stop doing things to draw out love from people, we give them room to love us out of their own initiation. This leads me to the next point.

5. Position yourself to receive from others, “love is not puffed up …” People who do not love themselves have a hard time receiving love from others. Loving words or acts of affection do not penetrate into their hearts. When we do not receive love from those who genuinely want to love us, we engage the work of pride that keeps us from humbly receiving what others seek to give us. Next time someone says something loving, instead of immediately changing the subject or throwing back a compliment to them, take in and appreciate the love expression. Humble your heart to receive from those you may have been resistant to in the past.

6. Take care of yourself, “love does not behave rudely …” Combating self-hate must be intentional. We must live and behave in such a way that we honor and value our heart, mind and body. Self-hate drives us to live a busy life with no regard for the condition of our heart. Whenever we act rudely towards someone, we show no value for who they are. But how often are we rude towards ourselves, and we come into agreement with the enemy by not valuing who we are?

7. Break selfish tendencies, “love does not seek its own … ” When proper self-love is not present, we can become a very self-centered and selfish generation, thinking of only ourselves. People who carry self-love know that the love they have been given works best when it is given away. As love is given out, more is available form heaven.

8. Get self-anger out of your life, “love is not provoked … ” I worked hard all my life to not react to abusive people by passing it on. The problem is that I stuffed that anger down, making me an enemy to myself in anger. So whenever problems would arise, I would not blame others, I would just take the hit on myself. This is an toxic way to deal with problems in life. I have learned that this is a tactic of Satan to keep me from being kind and patient towards myself.

9. Cast down all evil assumptions against yourself, “love sees no evil …” People say they are their own worst enemy. That is a lie. God did not create you to be an enemy to yourself.

You have an enemy, but that enemy is not you. Satan is very keen at releasing thoughts and impressions that sound like your own, locking you into a self vs. self battle. He is your enemy.

When you have proper self-love, it is not that you do not see evil at all. It just means the evil is not your constant obsessive focus. You recognize there is evil in you, but you are not obsessed with it. Love puts evil in its proper context, because only in love can evil be driven out thoroughly. Without it, we get into legalistic attempts to get free.

10. Get happy about what God says about you, “love rejoices in the truth …” When was the last time you celebrated you? We spend so much time trying to be something or attempting to go somewhere, but very little time expressing the joy of what God has done and who He made us to be. Do you spend time rejoicing over what God’s word says about you? If not, today would be a great day to start this habit. Join the party that heaven is already having over you, and celebrate!

Question: Which way can you apply this today to receive more of God’s love for yourself? {eoa}

Mark DeJesus has been equipping people in a full-time capacity since 1995, serving in various roles, including teaching people of all ages, communicating through music, authoring books, leading and mentoring. Mark is a teacher, author and mentor who uses many communication mediums, including the written word, a weekly radio podcast show and videos. Out of their own personal renewal, Mark and his wife, Melissa, founded Turning Hearts Ministries, a ministry dedicated to inside-out transformation. Mark also founded Transformed You, a communication platform for Mark’s teachings, writing and broadcasts that are designed to encourage people in their journey of transformation.

For the original article, visit markdejesus.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Are Domestic Missions as Important as International Missions?

Are Domestic Missions as Important as International Missions?

Huntington, Indiana, is a small town that is witnessing a revival stirring within the youth. For 10 days, I was able to witness this firsthand by the opportunity to lead a trip to this town to serve with six other college girls. During this time, I saw how the Lord...

8 Ways You Can Attract God’s Full Attention

8 Ways You Can Attract God’s Full Attention

We all want God’s attention, right? The best way to get His attention is to give Him our full attention, and pay close attention to what attracts Him. There are certain attitudes and actions which attract God and others that repel Him. We want to create an atmosphere...

What the Holy Spirit Showed Me About the Fentanyl Overdose Crisis

What the Holy Spirit Showed Me About the Fentanyl Overdose Crisis

Fentanyl has been making headlines lately in the midst of an overdose crisis raging in America. Doubtless, if we don’t shut this down in the spirit, this overdose crisis will soon find its way into many other nations. Fentanyl is a powerful synthetic opioid similar to...

Could Judas Have Been Saved?

Could Judas Have Been Saved?

The answer is yes. If Judas would have simply repented to God, he could have been saved. The Bible tells us that everyone can be saved. Judas knew he had sinned but he didn’t bring it to God. A person can feel remorse within themselves, but not remorse for sinning...

RECENT ARTICLES

Anne Graham Lotz: One Kingdom Truth That Will Never Change

Out of respect for those of you who have taken the time to comment about a statement I made 11 years ago regarding the World Economic Forum, I thought it would be beneficial to restate God’s call on...
Spirit-Filled Pastor: Only Pulpits Have the Power to Change America

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Only Pulpits Have the Power to Change America

One thing is crystal clear in America: If we truly want change, we must re-spark biblical boldness and flame the fires of biblical action. If we won't fight, then spiritually speaking, we will fade away. I recently attended a large gathering of pastors in San Diego...

A Big Excuse That Shuts Down Our Ability to Hear from God

A Big Excuse That Shuts Down Our Ability to Hear from God

One of the biggest excuses we have is that we somehow feel God doesn’t speak to us. This excuse shuts down our ability to hear from Him, trust Him and surrender to Him. All three things are integral when we are trying to change our habits, lose weight, get healthy and...

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

Two weeks ago, I shared several practical guidelines on how to leave a church gracefully. I wrote this because I hear so many stories about people storming out of churches because their feelings got hurt. But one astute reader didn’t appreciate my observations because...

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

“Behold, the day of the LORD comes, cruel, with both wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate; and He will destroy its sinners from it. For the stars of heaven and their constellations will not give their light; the sun will be darkened in its going forth, and...

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

If a person were to ask, “Why speak in tongues?” couldn’t we also ask, “Why pray?” The Word of God shows a definite value in praying with an unknown tongue. Jesus tells us that “it is necessary always to pray” (Luke 18:1, MEV). Later, in speaking of prayer, Paul...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]