Is Your Emotional Teen Driving You Crazy?

by | Oct 29, 2021 | Parenting

Do you feel disconnected from your teen? Does it seem like your teen’s moods are running the household? Teens can be some of the most misunderstood and undervalued people. They are just as powerful in the spirit and what they hear from the Lord. Many of you have heard that there is no junior Holy Spirit. We need to come alongside them and bring heaven even through the midst of big emotions.

This article is not just for parents of teens. It is for any type of guardian, foster parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbor, coach and even the teens. All of us were a teen at some point in our lives and it’s important that we don’t hurry past these years because they were difficult for some of us. Allow God to heal any pain that you experienced yourself as a teen, so you can be there for the teens of today. They are our future leaders!

Teens are not adults; they are also not toddlers. They are the messy middle where they want respect and need teaching at the same time.

Here are 10 ways to bring healthy, godly connection with teens and parents:

1. Validation—Seek to understand and listen first. Don’t go to solve problems and give advice. Validation does not mean that you agree. It allows you to move through difficult conversations without the emotions getting big.

2. Teach—Just because they don’t give a great response doesn’t mean we stop the teaching. They are hearing it and they want it. Keep consistent church attendance and outside fellowship activities where they receive godly teaching besides in the home.

3. Have rules—Having rules creates healthy boundaries and increased safety. I have heard from teen clients that they want and appreciate rules from their parents, even though they don’t always show it.

4. Limit phone and screen usage—There is research behind increased mental health struggles and teen cellphone usage. The chemical dopamine is released when a teen gets a message or comment, which is the same that is released with addictive drugs.

5. Have serious talks every 6-12 months—Have the difficult talks yourself; don’t wait for them to happen through their friends. Some topics include sex, drinking, drugs, social media, porn or current events. We want to talk about these topics through the lens of Jesus, not the world. James 3:17 (TPT) says, “the wisdom from above is always pure, filled with peace, considerate and teachable. It is filled with love and never displays prejudice or hypocrisy in any form.”

6. Do your own work—Get curious about your own emotional struggles and seek the Lord for healing. Don’t expect your teen to know what to do with their emotions when you don’t know what to do yourself. If you have a struggle, be real and invite your teen into it—this allows them to see how to Jesus helps us in the midst of struggles.

7. Be the thermostat of heaven, not the thermometer—If your teen is struggling with big emotions, that’s okay. Don’t let those moods run the household by being afraid of them. If they are angry, release peace. If they are depressed, release joy.

8. Speak the gold, not dirt—Teens need to be encouraged. Encourage and speak gold, not the difficult behaviors you “see.” It doesn’t help by saying, “You are really crabby today.” Instead say, “I can see what God was doing when He created you. You bring so much light into a room.”

9. Pray for them—You have authority as a parent to pray big prayers. Do this regularly and speak truth over your teen.

10. Spend quality time with them—This is the same reason we spend time with Father God in the secret place. We get to know them and they feel loved. When things are stressful, it’s easier to handle because there is a trusted relationship.

Be encouraged that no matter where your son or daughter is at, Jesus is bigger than any problem. In Matthew 28:18 (NKJV), Jesus says, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.” Don’t be intimidated by something in the world that you aren’t aware of—that is what the enemy wants. Get educated about things in the world with the help of the Holy Spirit.

If you would like more resources on teens and parents, I recommend the books, “The Power of the Praying Parent” by Stormie Omartian, “Keep Your Love On” by Danny Silk and “The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers” by Gary Chapman.

What you do teaches more than what you say. It is important that you are genuine, authentic and seeking your own honest relationship with the Lord daily. Teens are smarter and more attuned to the Holy Spirit than we think.

If you are in crisis, help is available by call or text 1-800-273-8255 24/7. You can also visit You are loved!

For more of Strong Tower Mental Health with Heidi, listen to this podcast episode. {eoa}

Heidi Mortenson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Bridging Hope Counseling in Minnesota. She received her Master’s in Counseling Psychology from Bethel University. She is currently attending Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry (BSSM) and is approved for ordination through Patricia King’s Women in Ministry Network. Her website is

Read articles like this one and other Spirit-led content in our new platform, CHARISMA PLUS.


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


This Coach Can Help You Destroy Your Addiction to Pornography

This Coach Can Help You Destroy Your Addiction to Pornography

Let’s talk about a subject most people want to avoid. Let’s talk about pornography. According to Covenant Eyes, statistics show that 28,258 users are watching pornography every second, and 20% of mobile online searches are for porn. Among Christians, 20% of youth...

The Real Truth About the Marriage of Politics and Faith

The Real Truth About the Marriage of Politics and Faith

As I look back, I realize that God has given me a career path with some rather unique experiences. I have built bridges at the intersection of faith and government my whole life, and I have learned that serving people through a role in government can be just as...

Joyce Meyer: Winning the Battle Against Satan in Your Mind

Joyce Meyer: Winning the Battle Against Satan in Your Mind

If you have received Christ as your Savior, then you have an enemy. Did you know that? I know some people feel uncomfortable talking about the devil, but he is real and it’s important for us to face the truth about him so we can have a victorious life in Christ. Now,...

It’s Time to Rebuild Love and Unity in the Church—Part 2

It’s Time to Rebuild Love and Unity in the Church—Part 2

Note: As we move towards Yom Kippur/Day of Atonement, Grant Berry, a Messianic believer, speaks about the deeper repentance needed in the Messianic part of the family. As you have read part one of this article during the month of Av and are now reading part two in the...

Will Many of the Elect Really Be Deceived by the Antichrist?

Will Many of the Elect Really Be Deceived by the Antichrist?

The most sobering and troubling statement in the Olivet Discourse is where Jesus says, “For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect” (Matt. 24:24). This statement cries out for an...


Prophetic Lessons in the Hurricane-Force Storms of Life With Hurricane Ian slamming Florida, it's a time to reflect on the storms of life. As I was preparing for the hurricane, I documented some thoughts about...
Why God Cares About Your Physical Health

Why God Cares About Your Physical Health

God doesn’t care if I am fat. He wants me to enjoy my life. He wants me to live, love and be happy. Food makes me happy so I’m just doing what He wants me to do. That was just an excuse and at its core it is untrue. God really doesn’t care about our outward...

An Unborn Baby’s Heart Is Beating—Stop Denying It

An Unborn Baby’s Heart Is Beating—Stop Denying It

Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams turned heads last week in Atlanta when she defiantly announced during a political event that an unborn baby doesn’t have a heartbeat at six weeks gestation. “There is no such thing as a heartbeat at six weeks,” said...

Prophecy: We Are in a Season of Blessings

Prophecy: We Are in a Season of Blessings

We are kingdom citizens, and not of this world. We don’t abide by this world’s economy and the natural things that happen. Repeatedly, over the last four weeks, I’ve been hearing not to look at the circumstances of this world. We are not of this world. Get your eyes...

Pin It on Pinterest