Why Your Apologies to Your Wife Should Include These 10 Steps

by | Oct 25, 2017 | Man

Tom Penders, the University of Houston basketball coach, received a technical foul from referees during a game when he dropped to his knees and fell face down due to a heart condition. The refs thought he was protesting a call, so they “T’d” him up. The sad part is that the officials refused to reverse the call even after the coach was given oxygen and taken from the court on a stretcher. Penders later quipped, “It’s a good thing I didn’t die. The other team would have gotten two more free throws and possession.”

The officials just could not admit they were wrong. Is the same true for you? Do you have a difficult time saying you were wrong and seeking forgiveness? Do you have a tough time asking for forgiveness? Let’s start with your wife. Here are 10 ways to ask for forgiveness.

1. Make sure you have uninterrupted quiet time together.

This goes hand in hand with taking her feelings seriously. Be gracious, treat the situation with the gravity it demands, give your wife appropriate time and attention, be patient, don’t demand and demonstrate some sensitivity.

2. Serve her something.

Sincerity is best served along with something else. Maybe a refreshing drink or a tasty treat.

3. Try humility.

This is directly related to the spirit of service. Pride doesn’t just go before a “fall,” it often announces a “fool.”

4. Be completely honest.

“I’m sorry I was a few minutes late for dinner,” doesn’t really fly when the truth is “I was three hours late and I didn’t call.”

5. Never try to even the score.

Pointing out your wife’s shortcoming in order to make yourself look better is lose-lose. Every time. Without exception.

6. Don’t minimize the offense.

If you plan to downplay the situation, your guilt or your need for forgiveness, then just smack yourself in the head now and make up the couch in the living room before you talk to your wife—that way you can save both yourself and her some time later.

7. Own responsibility.

Nobody is responsible for your behavior other than yourself. No matter how bad your day is. Even if you feel your wife provoked you. We are grown-up, adult men—what we do and how we treat other people is always our choice.

8. Lay out a plan for restitution.

Have a plan in mind that addresses the hurt you caused.

9. Demonstrate a change of heart.

“I have already made an appointment with the counselor.”

“I understand that an apology sounds kind of hollow, so I want you to know that my heart has changed and I’m a better person because I’ve made this mistake.”

These aren’t just flowers—they’re a small attempt to show how much I love you.”

“I forgot to meet you for lunch yesterday. But I have a sitter lined up for tonight and dinner reservations.”

10. Don’t just say it—do it.

Follow up that change of heart with a demonstrable change in behavior, a change that repeats itself over time. It may take a while to regain trust, or demonstrate your sincerity, so hang in there and make it count in reality. Remember, you’re not doing this to get out of trouble; you’re working on healing the relationship.

How do you handle a situation where you know you’re in the wrong? {eoa}

This article originally appeared at allprodad.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Learn How to Be Grateful From Those Who Have So Little

Learn How to Be Grateful From Those Who Have So Little

Read Time: 3 Minutes 18 Seconds Looking around my hometown of Los Angeles, my heart soars with gratitude. My home is safe, my bills are paid and I was fortunate to be able to serve my family an ample Thanksgiving meal. And yet, I am fully aware that hundreds of...

5 Ways to Improve Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

5 Ways to Improve Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

Read Time: 4 Minutes 50 Seconds Do you believe the Lord is concerned about your emotional and spiritual health? He is. He wants you to know how to improve your emotional and spiritual health to be resilient in turbulent times. One of the most powerful things you can...

I Never Thought I’ve Have to Say This: Jesus Was Not Trans

I Never Thought I’ve Have to Say This: Jesus Was Not Trans

Read Time: 3 Minutes 27 Seconds You may have heard about the controversy that erupted in Cambridge, England, this past Sunday at Trinity College. The preacher, Joshua Heath, a junior research fellow who has a Ph.D. in theology, offered a sermon in which he suggested...

Prophetic Word: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Prophetic Word: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Read Time: 4 Minutes 48 Seconds At a recent gathering where a person was struggling, I heard and declared by the Spirit of the Lord, “Goodness is following you; turn and see. Embrace His goodness in this moment and watch the shift!” There was an immediate shift and...

Why Becoming Like God Requires Special Effort

Why Becoming Like God Requires Special Effort

Read Time: 2 Minutes 7 Seconds We can walk with God and come into unity with Him by clothing ourselves in His nature. This will require that we restrict and control the desires of the flesh by putting our focus on obtaining the very substance and characteristics of...

Jonathan Cahn: How the Great Seduction Overwhelmed America

Jonathan Cahn: How the Great Seduction Overwhelmed America

Read Time: 7 Minutes, 16 Seconds Is it possible that ancient entities known as "the gods" have returned to our world? If so, who are these gods? And could they be the hidden agents transforming modern culture? Is it possible that in the mythologies of the ancient...

3 Reasons for Hope This Advent Season

3 Reasons for Hope This Advent Season

Read Time: 3 Minutes 6 Seconds I didn’t grow up celebrating Advent. When I was little, we put up a tree, got presents and had a Christmas Eve service. It seemed to me that most grown-ups were stressed over Christmas and thankful when it was all over. It wasn’t until...

RECENT ARTICLES

How To Be Hilariously Happy in Your Giving

Read Time: 4 Minutes 17 Seconds The day after Thanksgiving is culturally called Black Friday, in the U.S. It marks the beginning of retail sales that could ensure a successful and profitable...
Prophetic Word: The Lord Says, ‘I Am About to Redeem the Times’

Prophetic Word: The Lord Says, ‘I Am About to Redeem the Times’

Read Time: 3 Minutes 39 Seconds In corporate prayer the other day, I was in place of deep prayer and intercession when I heard in my spirit, "Redeem the times." As I continued to pray, I just kept hearing "Redeem the times" echo in my spirit. Then the Lord said, "I am...

Pin It on Pinterest