This 4-Step Exercise May Help You Heal From Past Abuse

by | Dec 7, 2018 | Man

Realize that when you experienced trauma, you were affected. Even if you didn’t want to be, you were. This exercise is helpful for those who suffered emotional, physical, sexual or even spiritual trauma. The process I will outline is found in the Scripture where Jesus cleanses the temple by identifying the sin, expressing His anger—and once again the temple is cleansed and restored (Luke 19:45-48).

Note: As a word of caution, before you start the symbolic confrontations, if you have heart trouble or other health issues, consult your physician first.

Prepare Your Offenders List: Take a separate piece of paper and make a list of the offender(s) in your life. List the offenses they committed, your age at the time of the offense and a brief description of the offense.

Example:

  • When I was 7 years old, a neighbor boy …
  • Dad left me when I was 9.

Rank these offenses in order of intensity, with the number 1 marking the highest level of trauma experienced. Next, you will need to confront each perpetrator symbolically, one at a time. (An explanation of how to do this follows.) Only confront one person per day, starting with the worst offender. I usually recommend that you give yourself about three days between confronting each perpetrator.

Symbolic confrontations have four components that are all very important:

  1. Write your anger letter.
  2. Warm up for your symbolic confrontation.
  3. Read your letter out loud.
  4. Carry out your symbolic confrontation (hit the target).

I will detail each step below. Before starting, turn the phones off and make sure you have complete privacy for your confrontation.

  1. Anger Letter: Write down the name of your offender, if you know it, and then write him or her a letter expressing all your feelings. Do not mail the letter—it is strictly therapeutic for your own recovery. If you could put this person in a chair, strap them down and gag them, what you would like to say to them regarding they have done to you? Include in your letter the effects his or her actions have had on your life. Don’t hold back any thoughts or feelings, and don’t worry about your language either. More than likely, this abuse has dramatically affected your life and kept you from being completely successful. Your perpetrators deserve the rage you feel about them.
  2. Warm Up: Get a racquet or bat (most stores carry sport bats that are padded) along with a mattress, pillow or punching bag. Using your bat, strike the mattress with small, medium, large and extra-large hits. Practice doing this a time or two. Also, warm up your voice by saying “no” louder with each hit. Although this may seem awkward at first, it is essential to your symbolic confrontation, which will enable you to release your rage.
  3. Read the Letter Out Loud: Now read your letter out loud, as if you were reading it to your offender. This is an important part of the exercise as well. As you read the letter, feelings will swell up inside of you. That is normal. The next step will help discharge that trauma.
  4. Hit the Target: Now go at it with your bat and mattress. Really let that mattress, which symbolizes your perpetrator, have it. You can hit, yell, kick or whatever you need to do to get the rage, shame and hate out of you and put it back on your perpetrator where it belongs. It’s their shame you have been carrying all these years and not yours. This last step can take anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour, depending on the ordeal you experienced and how deeply the pain is lodged inside of you. The more emotion you let out, the better you will feel afterward. You are now taking the bullet out of your being—spirit, soul and body—and giving it back to the person responsible for inflicting you with it.

This is how a symbolic confrontation takes place. I have personally done this exercise with each of the offenders in my life. Now I have a concrete place and time as to when I pulled the bullets out of my soul and began to heal.

I have noticed that everyone’s experience with symbolic confrontation is quite unique. Some feel different immediately afterwards. For others, it takes a few days before they realize that they are free of the bondage that once strangled them. {eoa}

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally-known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Sex Men and God. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Do you think the God of the Old Testament is a God of wrath, and the God of the New Testament is a God of love? The truth is that God is the same throughout the entire Bible. His wrath and His love are revealed in both the Old and the New Testaments. So why, then, did...

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

Your heart is the most important part of you. It’s not only a physical organ that keeps your blood pumping, but when the Bible refers to the heart, it’s talking about who you really are. Each person has an inner and an outer life. There’s the person we show to...

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

It's been a few days since the FBI raided President Donald Trump's home in Mar-a-Lago, and the Biden Administration has yet to explain to the American people why they did what's never been done in American history—the government raiding the home of a former president....

How the Holy Spirit Can Restore Your True Sanity

How the Holy Spirit Can Restore Your True Sanity

Most of my life I tried to avoid one thing—being crazy or insane. When I was growing up my mother had emotional issues and saw a psychiatrist regularly. She was on medication which only seemed to make her mood swings worse. She had high highs, and low lows. When I...

Israel Prophecy: The Enemy is Stirring an Unimaginable Conflict

Israel Prophecy: The Enemy is Stirring an Unimaginable Conflict

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJFFqAgykmU A cease-fire between Israel and Palestinian militants took effect late Sunday in a bid to end nearly three days of violence that killed dozens of Palestinians and disrupted the lives of hundreds of thousands of Israelis,...

RECENT ARTICLES

Why Partial Obedience to God is Disobedience

My husband had a saying for our children growing up. “Partial obedience is disobedience.” He wanted them to understand that doing half the plan would not get them the full reward. Another reminder...
Kingdom Economics: Why is America Declining Spiritually So Quickly?

Kingdom Economics: Why is America Declining Spiritually So Quickly?

The Bureau of Labor Statistics released a surprisingly strong July Employment Report.  Total nonfarm employment was 528K (398K previously, 250K expected).  Private nonfarm employment was 471K (404K previously, 230K expected). The headline unemployment rate dropped to...

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

The wind is a funny thing. We do not know where it comes from nor where it goes. We cannot see it, but we can see and feel its effects. Wind can be gentle and refreshing, cold or hot, strong, and dangerous, and everything in between. When the wind blows, we must...

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

It is interesting that, as a Messianic rabbi the question I am asked most often by Christians is if I believe that they as Christians have to celebrate, or observe, the biblical Holy Days. They are usually asking about those days listed in Leviticus 23: Shabbat, Yom...

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

As the crackdown against Christianity in America grows, it is a cycle believers have seen before. While no one celebrates their religious freedom coming under attack, God has used this persecution to great effect throughout history. Over the centuries, there have been...

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Change can be challenging. Some people look forward to change and embrace it. Some people dread change and try to avoid it. Since change is inevitable, so here are some of the dynamics surrounding change and the specific strategies to deal with change more...

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

This past weekend I preached at The Roads Church, a charismatic congregation located in the tiny town of Norris City, Illinois. Located amid cornfields, the population is only 1,325, but almost that many people visit the church on weekends. They come from all over...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]