The Holy Spirit Wants to Take You on This Heart-Changing Journey

by | Nov 17, 2017 | Man

I want to take you on a little journey most Christians must go through. This journey isn’t about the exciting things men talk about when we usually get together, such as hockey or our latest gadget. Rather, this is the quiet journey many men travel and hope that few find out about.

This is what I call the journey of self-disgust. This is the inner journey of loathing some part of us that Jesus, Himself, is trying to heal, change or destroy so we increasingly look like Him.

I know right now you might be tempted to stop reading, but if you don’t give in to that temptation, I promise you will be given a secret to gain your desire for that increase in your life.

You see, like you, Jesus has consistently allowed me go through cycles of self-disgust in my 30-plus years of knowing Him. He takes many of us through this cycle—especially those He entrusts with some form of leadership in the body of Christ. So now you will know that the next time you find yourself going through one of these cycles, you can be affirmed that you are loved, and that this cycle is evidence of Christ’s hand on your heart, life and ministry. After all, we serve a perfect God, who is perfect in love. He calls us to walk with Him, who is absolutely divine, and remember that we are absolutely not in-and-of-ourselves divine or even reactively loving. When you walk with the perfect One (not being perfect yourself), you can logically conclude that there would be significant and ongoing change on our part through the decades.

In my experience, there is the first part of the cycle that is relatively comfortable. I am going about my day-to-day life, and life is good. God is blessing me, talking to me and doing His ministry through me, and I am generally at ease and have a level of self-satisfaction in my life. This part of the cycle can last days, weeks and sometimes longer.

Then it changes. I never know what it is going to be. It may be a moment of pride, an unkind interaction or a lack of caring. You will know when it happens. The Spirit of God is watching and just nudges you, kind of like a friend at a football game as if to say, “Hey, did you see that?”

Of course, how we respond to the nudge by the Holy Spirit can decrease or prolong the cycle. If I choose denial, minimization or blame in any way, I get to repeat the cycle. Here’s where it can get really ugly.

On this path, regardless of what the issue is, I will be finding myself repeating exactly the same ugly behavior, attitude or lack of caring. Again, each time, the Holy Spirit nudges and often the nudge seems to get harder and harder.

Here is the expensive part of the process as a Christian. In my experience, if I am slow to get to self-disgust and genuine repentance,it seems to get more expensive as the lesson continues. Let me remind you: God is more committed to my growth than I am, generally speaking, although we do have our moments of cooperation. However, if I am not cooperating to get to a point of self-disgust, it tends to move closer to home until what is being dealt with hurts us or someone or something we love significantly more. At this point, we get to the next part of the process.

We really don’t like the consequences of our behavior. It stinks; it’s not fair; and God, why are you allowing this to happen?  Yes, we have all been there, questioning His judgment. This is probably the humorous part for God. He is perfect and wants the best for us, and we, being imperfect, with His nature in us, are questioning Him. We are so blinded by distrust and still have a grip on what he is trying to deal with in our hearts.

Then I finally arrive at a place of genuine disgust. It’s not in others, it’s not in the circumstances, but it’s in my own dark heart, which is evil, wrong, wicked and selfish. It’s really me I hate and loathe, not anyone else. It’s the “I” point when you say “uncle” to the Holy Spirit. You agree with your self-righteousness, having a judgmental and controlling heart, or lying, stealing, lusting and pridefulness.

This self-disgust is critical for us to get in agreement with God. He already knows but wants us to also know so that He can heal us to become more like Him. He wants us to move away from the devilish assumption that we’re OK. We’re not OK. Even as leaders, we need this cycle of self-disgust to reassure us that we need a savior, are still sin and that His blood, grace and mercy are there for us every day.

Now that’s not the end of the cycle. You’re at the bottom. You’re totally self-disgusted and then you repent. You really repent. You don’t just say you’re sorry. You are broken.

Then the Father God brings you closer to Him. You see Him and you work out a process together to move beyond the darkness. You feel His grace and get insights from His Word and your mentors. You are honest and you start to grow.

Now the exciting part happens: the blessing. It always comes. You see this is the real agenda. God wants to give us something but we get in the way. I’ve seen this happen so often in my life I look forward to the process. I’ve learned if God is cleaning me up its only to bless me. I can look back on every open door whether it’s a book deal, Oprah, Dr. Phil—a major door opening with supernatural favor.

Jesus discusses this process when He talks in John 15:1-2 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that bears no fruit, He takes away. And every branch that bears fruit, He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

If you are a Christian, you are probably bearing fruit at a certain level. That’s great, and that qualifies your pruning. This is the good news because if you’re not fruitful, you are not even qualifying for this pruning, or what I have been calling the cycle of self-disgust.

Pruning is painful–a foreign object that is stronger invades the weaker organic object. This is a great picture of God’s nature cutting into our flesh for the positive purposes to become more fruitful.

I was sitting on a plane on my way to a large men’s conference as I was reflecting my current cycle of self-disgust. I didn’t like a part of me and repented and was on my way to talk to more than 1,000 men. God showed up, and His pruning was so worth it.

You and I need cycles of self-disgust to become more fruitful in life. Most of us pray God increases us, but what you’re really asking for is pruning–get me so self-disgusted I grow to be more like You so You can trust me with more fruit. I know it sounds like praying for patience.

I’m not expecting you or me to regularly pray, “God help me be disgusted with myself.”  However, when this does begin to happen, agree more quickly and rejoice that the Father is about to bless you. {eoa}

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Intimacy. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, or on his Facebook or by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


Have We Departed From the  Simplicity of Christ?

Have We Departed From the Simplicity of Christ?

Recently I heard a pastor say the following: "When I was pastoring and saw little fruit, I began to call those with potential to reach others for Christ to our home and to mentor them one on one. That's where massive growth happened in the people." Local pastors and...

Take the Fight to the Enemy, Before He Strikes at You

Take the Fight to the Enemy, Before He Strikes at You

Read Time: 3 Minutes 7 Seconds “When the Philistines heard that they had anointed David king over Israel, all the Philistines went up to seek out David; and when David heard of it, he went down to the stronghold,” (2 Sam. 5:17). When David heard that he was under...

Joyce Meyer: Becoming a Prisoner of Hope

Joyce Meyer: Becoming a Prisoner of Hope

Read Time: 3 Minutes 56 Seconds God is good. And He has a good plan for each of our lives. No matter what may be going on right now, God’s plan is unfolding. In the meantime, Romans 12:12 tells us to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer,”...

Victimized By Gaslighting? 5 Steps to Finding Freedom

Victimized By Gaslighting? 5 Steps to Finding Freedom

Read Time: 2 minutes 26 seconds The term "gaslighting" has gone viral across social media this year and Merriam-Webster chose it as their word-of-the-year, saying searches for the word spiked 1,740% in 2022 alone. We're breaking down what the Bible has to say about...


WATCH: Vlad Savchuck: Life, Health and the Bible During a recent visit to @HungryGeneration, Pastor Vlad Savchuk asked Bill Wiese to comment on his personal experience applying the Word of God to his own...
Miraculous Divine Intervention Birthed by Thanksgiving and Praise

Miraculous Divine Intervention Birthed by Thanksgiving and Praise

Read Time: 4 Minutes 2 Seconds When I first became a believer in 1970, my mother was one of my first “converts," giving her heart to Jesus as soon as I shared with her the beauty, the power and the opportunity of making Jesus the Lord of her life. However, my father...

I’m Going Defcon G on the Enemy

I’m Going Defcon G on the Enemy

Read Time: 1 Minute 32 Seconds The last six years have been the best of times and the worst of times. I’ve seen more death, destruction, disease and devastation than I care to remember. I’ve also seen the hand of God move in extraordinary ways. Indeed, sometimes I...

Prophetic Vision: ‘Now is the Time of Your Healing’

Prophetic Vision: ‘Now is the Time of Your Healing’

Read Time: 3 Minutes 41 Seconds I was remembering a time when my husband and I were praying over friends who had been in a situation for many years that had caused deep trauma to their souls. As we were praying for them, I became aware of an angel standing over them...

5 Ways to Improve Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

5 Ways to Improve Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

Read Time: 4 Minutes 50 Seconds Do you believe the Lord is concerned about your emotional and spiritual health? He is. He wants you to know how to improve your emotional and spiritual health to be resilient in turbulent times. One of the most powerful things you can...

Pin It on Pinterest