The Big Lie: ‘When It Comes to Porn, I Don’t Need an Accountability Partner’

by | Mar 6, 2014 | Man

There was a time in my life where I used to think that way. I knew the struggles I had but honestly believed I could overcome them all by myself. I generalize it by using the word them because we all struggle with things that in some way we know we shouldn’t be doing; for me specifically, it was pornography and masturbation.

I lived for decades in an endless cycle of ups and downs when it came to porn and masturbating, and I often thought this was just the way it was going to be. The constant struggle not to objectify the opposite sex and instead just see them as a human being was at times overwhelming. Add to that the enchanting lure from a sexual society, where we’re bombarded with sensual images at every corner, and this cycle was something I knew I no longer wanted to be on.

I randomly came across the book Pure Eyes by Craig Gross and Steven Luff as well as a handful of other books that specifically dealt with my struggle, and all of these books had a very similar underlying principle: accountability. This was something I wouldn’t have ever pursued on my own. Find someone and completely reveal to them that I struggle with this? Are you kidding me? No, I can do this on my own!

But as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I would often find myself right back at the bottom of the barrel, feeling dirty, alone, ashamed and worthless.

I openly cried out to the Lord and just asked for help. I didn’t have any fancy prayers or any Bible verses to quote; I just fell on my bed and asked God, “Help me, please,” and honestly, I had never meant it more than at that very moment.

The very next day, out of the blue, an acquaintance of mine brought up the topic of porn and in a context that made us both look at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare that just said, “Wait … you too?” We became accountability partners, and ever since then, we’ve been perfect and neither of us ever struggle with this anymore.

Of course, that last part isn’t true.

The truth is, it is still a struggle, but by giving someone the permission to ask the tough questions, I am now able to see things in a whole new light. Both of us are slowly but surely growing past who we used to be.

We’re discovering that accountability works if you allow it to.

For the original article, visit xxxchurch.com.

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