Secret Behaviors Teens Desperately Try to Hide From Their Parents

by | Aug 18, 2016 | Man

In 1999, a PBS Frontline special called The Lost Children of Rockdale County told the story about a syphilis outbreak in a wealthy Atlanta suburb. Health officials were shocked to discover that most of those involved in the outbreak were teenagers, some as young as 13.

Some of the young teens had literally dozens of sex partners and were engaging in every kind of risky sexual behavior, including regular group sex. For the most part the kids didn’t come from broken families, nor were they abused or homeless. The majority came from what could be viewed as typical suburban families. Parents had no idea what was happening and never thought their kids would engage in such behavior.

Although the Rockdale County story is unique in some circumstances, teens definitely have their own underworld, in which adults, particularly parents, are unwelcome. Their secret lives are driven by a desperate need to belong and are kept hidden because they involve everything parents would disapprove of. If you think, my kid would never…, then you need to know that any kid is capable of anything. The following is a list of things a majority of teens are doing and don’t want their parents to know about.

Hiding Friends

Teens will find a way to spend time with the people they want to be with, especially if there is a romantic interest. If you don’t or they think you won’t approve of someone they are hanging out with they will do it behind your back, either away from the home or on social media. They’ll lie to you about where they are going and who they will be with when they go out. Never expect the problem to be solved by simply putting your foot down. It is always deeper, involving multiple conversations and reinforcement.

Social Media Accounts

Whether it is Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, or some other social media platform you haven’t heard of, they will find one you aren’t monitoring. Social media poses a lot of dangers. You can do your best to monitor their online activity (and should), but there is a lot you will never be able to see. Make sure you are having as much open dialogue as possible. Keep up with the latest social media trends so you know what questions to ask.

Currently, Snapchat is the most used; look for our article in several weeks discussing the trouble spots.

Sexually Active

If your teen has not been sexually active by graduation, they are in the minority. Kids have a fear that they are not maturing at the same rate as their peers. The result is internal pressure coupled with a curiosity to have sex at a young age without considering its implications. While some of the latest stats show a decrease in teens having sex, it is important to note that the numbers are still high, especially among those engaging in oral sex. While it’s good that the numbers are coming down, the fact is that most teens will engage in oral sex because they think it is without risk poses a major problem.

They Sneak Out

If it is midnight on a Saturday and your teen is home don’t assume they are in for the night. Many teens will sneak out after their parents go to sleep to meet up with friends or significant others. Basements are a popular place for teens to meet up after parents have gone to bed. They will also tell you they are sleeping at a friend’s house and then head to an all-night party.

When I would take teens to camp I would admit to the guys in my cabin that they could probably sneak out after I fell asleep without me knowing. But then I would ask them not to because it would hurt our relationship. Not because I wouldn’t like them anymore, but because they would know for themselves that they did something deceptive and willfully disrespectful to me. In fifteen years of camping with teens, I never had a problem with sneaking out after having that talk. I don’t know if that will work for you as a parent, but the more conversations you have the better.

Smoking Marijuana

Alcohol remains the most prominent feature at parties, but regular pot smoking is no longer relegated to a certain type of kid. That may not surprise you but something that may is the routine use of Adderall and other prescription drugs to give them the energy to study during exam weeks. When thinking about and discussing teen drug use be sure to consider all kinds and motivations.

High schoolers today are under enormous pressure. Teens are looking for places where they can release their stress without being corrected or judged. The problem is that many of those places involve recklessness and can have devastating emotional and physical consequences. They are looking for a parent who will hear them.

Focusing your questions on how they feel and then showing empathy is your best chance at getting a glimpse of what is actually going on in their world. {eoa}

BJ Foster is the Director of Content Creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


Have We Departed From the  Simplicity of Christ?

Have We Departed From the Simplicity of Christ?

Recently I heard a pastor say the following: "When I was pastoring and saw little fruit, I began to call those with potential to reach others for Christ to our home and to mentor them one on one. That's where massive growth happened in the people." Local pastors and...

Take the Fight to the Enemy, Before He Strikes at You

Take the Fight to the Enemy, Before He Strikes at You

Read Time: 3 Minutes 7 Seconds “When the Philistines heard that they had anointed David king over Israel, all the Philistines went up to seek out David; and when David heard of it, he went down to the stronghold,” (2 Sam. 5:17). When David heard that he was under...

Joyce Meyer: Becoming a Prisoner of Hope

Joyce Meyer: Becoming a Prisoner of Hope

Read Time: 3 Minutes 56 Seconds God is good. And He has a good plan for each of our lives. No matter what may be going on right now, God’s plan is unfolding. In the meantime, Romans 12:12 tells us to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer,”...

Victimized By Gaslighting? 5 Steps to Finding Freedom

Victimized By Gaslighting? 5 Steps to Finding Freedom

Read Time: 2 minutes 26 seconds The term "gaslighting" has gone viral across social media this year and Merriam-Webster chose it as their word-of-the-year, saying searches for the word spiked 1,740% in 2022 alone. We're breaking down what the Bible has to say about...

WATCH: Vlad Savchuck: Life, Health and the Bible

WATCH: Vlad Savchuck: Life, Health and the Bible During a recent visit to @HungryGeneration, Pastor Vlad Savchuk asked Bill Wiese to comment on his personal experience applying the Word of God to his own life and health. These same principals hold true for all who read and...


Miraculous Divine Intervention Birthed by Thanksgiving and Praise

Read Time: 4 Minutes 2 Seconds When I first became a believer in 1970, my mother was one of my first “converts," giving her heart to Jesus as soon as I shared with her the beauty, the power and the...
I’m Going Defcon G on the Enemy

I’m Going Defcon G on the Enemy

Read Time: 1 Minute 32 Seconds The last six years have been the best of times and the worst of times. I’ve seen more death, destruction, disease and devastation than I care to remember. I’ve also seen the hand of God move in extraordinary ways. Indeed, sometimes I...

Prophetic Vision: ‘Now is the Time of Your Healing’

Prophetic Vision: ‘Now is the Time of Your Healing’

Read Time: 3 Minutes 41 Seconds I was remembering a time when my husband and I were praying over friends who had been in a situation for many years that had caused deep trauma to their souls. As we were praying for them, I became aware of an angel standing over them...

5 Ways to Improve Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

5 Ways to Improve Your Emotional and Spiritual Health

Read Time: 4 Minutes 50 Seconds Do you believe the Lord is concerned about your emotional and spiritual health? He is. He wants you to know how to improve your emotional and spiritual health to be resilient in turbulent times. One of the most powerful things you can...

Pin It on Pinterest