Intentional Dads Can Feel Awkward Too

by | Mar 20, 2013 | Man

I had no idea what she was talking about.

On the calendar it says, “Starbucks with Dad.” It’s my time to connect individually with each of the kids. Before school, we head to buy really expensive lattes. I brewed mine at home so my kids don’t drink away my paycheck.

But $5 a week seems a small investment for quality daddy time—$7 for Brantley. She has expensive tastes.

Brantley talked about instagram and some other photo app called snap click or pop write or kick photo, which allows you to send a photo and write on it. I think that’s what she said. Easy. I need to get it on my phone.

If Brantley can find a job where she takes pictures of herself all day and posts them she’ll be set for life. Every time I plug in my IPad I get new photos … of Brantley. Usually looking at the camera with psychedelic enhancements.

“Look at what this guy did with his picture!”

Guy, why are you looking at some random guy’s picture? “It’s really funny dad, do you see it?” I can’t see it. I’m trying to drive. “He flared his nostrils and made his face glow!” Who is he? Why is he funny?

Enough of funny guy’s photo. “Brantley, tell me three words about yourself.”

“I can’t. I tried at church. I don’t know.”

“I think you’re experiential.”

“What?”

“You love being in the moment. You love certain settings.” In other words, I didn’t say, you’re like me.

“Well, I do like to control things.”

“Like what?”

“Well if I’m in a group I end up being the one who does stuff cause everyone else is quiet.”

“That means you’re a leader. You take control. That’s a good thing.”

She shrugged.

“I think you’re romantic.”

“What?!”

“Not in a relationship sort of way – but you love the ideal. You already see what you want to do with my (your eventual) 99 Honda Civic. You want a light for the mirror and a plush pink steering wheel cover. You want to have your lattes by the fire. You dream of the perfect experiences. You want everything to be just right.”

I didn’t tell her that means she’ll see me as dashing her dreams when I block her from going on a date with that boy or from heading up to NYC with her girlfriends at age 17. I didn’t tell her that someone would break her heart to pieces.

She’ll crave, live, and pursue the ideal and reality will drop kick her in the stomach. But when the dream comes true … when you fly across the world pursuing one woman, when you finish the book, when you climb the mountain, you, as romantic, fly in air unattainable for those walking in cement shoes of pragmatism.

We were first in line at the carpool lane. We had 30 minutest to kill. I wanted to talk about God. We ended up playing Harry Potter trivia. I nailed the Griffyndor round but fell flat on Slytherin.

We listened to a mix of Switchfoot, Taylor Swift, and Toby Mac.

She had a Devo app, and so we read today’s. It talked about Jesus’ condescension to earth. That sounded a lot like condensation. She erupted into the evaporation, condensation, run off, jingle from earth science.

So Jesus came down. He dropped in on the shepherds. He spent time with the dropouts, dead beats, and unknowns. He entered into our world.

I wonder if He felt as uncomfortable as I do when I try to enter hers. I’m not the dad I want to be. They’re unmasking the dad they imagined me to be. But I’m their dad. I pray I point them to a better dad.

Brian Goins serves as pastor at Renaissance Bible Church in Charlotte, N.C. He received his Masters of Theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary and worked as Creative Director for Insight for Living before going into church ministry. He’s written for a number of Christian leaders including Chuck Swindoll, Chip Ingram, and Tommy Nelson.

For the original article, visit authenticmanhood.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Charisma Highlights: 7 Abilities for a New Agility in This Era

Charisma Highlights: 7 Abilities for a New Agility in This Era

Following are snippets of the top stories posted on charismamag.com over the past week. We encourage you to visit the links to read the stories in full. 7 Abilities for a New Agility in This Era The Lord first began speaking to me about the release of seven abilities...

As a Believer, Have You Been Hiding During This Culture War?

As a Believer, Have You Been Hiding During This Culture War?

Many years ago, Jesus went up on a mountain, sat down, and spoke to the group he was with: “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all...

10 Traits of Effective Churches During the Global Pandemic

10 Traits of Effective Churches During the Global Pandemic

In the past few years, the global pandemic has exposed the weaknesses of many local churches. Friends from around the world have told me that many churches have closed their doors for good. Although most churches have not returned to their pre-pandemic attendance...

The Supernatural Secrets of Real Revival

The Supernatural Secrets of Real Revival

What does an authentic world-igniting revival look like? And, how are the seeds of revival planted? This we can learn from the life and work of William Joseph Seymour—God’s chosen vessel and apostle of the Azusa Street Revival.  Bishop William Joseph Seymour, was a...

Spiritually Speaking, How Healthy Is Your Heart?

Spiritually Speaking, How Healthy Is Your Heart?

Once a year, I go to the doctor and get a check-up. And every time, one of the things they do is check my heart. A good thorough exam will reveal if there are any problems that need to be addressed before a heart condition arises. I believe we need to do the same...

Prophetic Word: The Lord Says, ‘I Am Releasing My Firebrands’

Prophetic Word: The Lord Says, ‘I Am Releasing My Firebrands’

Recently while in worship, I was talking to the Lord when this prophetic flow began to come forth. I took out my phone and pressed record. This is the transcription of that word I received: "God, I see the firebrands rising up. God, I see the firebrands rising up. I...

How You Can Begin to Heal From Unanswered Prayer

How You Can Begin to Heal From Unanswered Prayer

The best way to grow in the prophetic is to look at the past. As backwards as that sounds, Revelation 19:10 tells us, “For the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of Prophecy.” In other translations, this is said, “For the essence of prophecy is to give a clear witness...

Living in the Tension of Two Distinct Worlds

Living in the Tension of Two Distinct Worlds

As a professional counselor, I have consoled hundreds of Christians through some of the most horrific life circumstances. Along with experiencing my own trials in life, it has caused me to deeply ponder the words of Scripture that refer to how we must learn to live in...

RECENT ARTICLES

Kingdom Economics: Who Do You Trust?

The Bureau of Economic Analysis (BEA) released its first of three estimates for second quarter Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Second-quarter inflation-adjusted (real) GDP fell at an annual rate of...
Jesus is My Friend, Not Sugar

Jesus is My Friend, Not Sugar

It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve had cake for my birthday, which I celebrated recently. Strawberries with nuts are my favorite treats today. That was definitely not my choice in years past until I made some monumental decisions in about 2009. Not eating sugar...

Protecting the Promises of God for Your Life

Protecting the Promises of God for Your Life

I was walking along one of my favorite beaches, and it was turtle season. Early each morning, park services ride along the beach looking for new sea turtle nests. They record the nest's location, place stakes and rope off the location so that people do not disturb the...

Curt Landry: What Are the Dangers of Soul Ties?

Curt Landry: What Are the Dangers of Soul Ties?

Soul ties form when we act in accordance with the flesh when developing or growing in a relationship with another person. This could be any relationship formed or grown out of shame, guilt, embarrassment, pride, loneliness, doubt and the like. Soul ties can develop...

There’s a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Leave a Church

There’s a Right Way and a Wrong Way to Leave a Church

This pandemic season hasn’t been easy—but pastors have suffered in unique ways. Statistics show that between 20-30% of churchgoers stopped attending in 2020, and the bulk of those people have not returned. In many cases, they never said goodbye. Many of my best...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]