Fathers: Life Is a Battleground Not a Playground

by | Jun 19, 2015 | Man

Last year I received an email correspondence from a desperate wife and mother:

“I won’t watch my kids be physically abused anymore. I won’t listen to my girls be called vile, vulgar names. I won’t have things smashed or broken in the house. I won’t get into a vehicle and listen to him rage. No more ‘spending time together’ by me scrap-booking and him sitting two feet away running pornography on the computer! I refuse to stay home and not attend church because I feel guilty for leaving him alone. I will not worship quietly or secretly again … I never believed in divorce so I just kept trying. I can no longer bear it. I’m not dying inside, I have died.”

We are in desperate need of broken, humble men—men who are not afraid to admit that they need God; men who are more worried about prayer than about status and recognition; men who petition God rather than position themselves.

The state of the family today is disheartening. Men have largely forsaken their God-given role as spiritual leaders in their homes … that, no one can deny. For example:

  • Bible reading and prayer are called fanatical while working twelve hours a day is called success.
  • We build our career and neglect our marriage.
  • Corporate executives are praised and family men frowned upon.
  • We’ve increased our wealth but decreased our values.
  • We search the heavens for answers and turn from the One who created them.
  • Pride is considered an asset and humility a liability.
  • We know more about our favorite athletes than our wives and our children.
  • We’d rather be seen leaving a bar than leaving a church.
  • We praise our favorite team yet fall asleep in church.

Men, you’re not called to be a passive, weak, indecisive partner—you’re called to protect, lead and guard your family. You are to initiate prayer, defend your wife, shepherd your children and make your home a holy sanctuary not a breeding ground for Satan. You’re called to fight the enemy, not flee from him.

I’m tired of weak, passive men who never contend, stand or fight for anything worth dying for. Our nation is looking for character, our wives are looking for leaders and our kids are looking for fathers.

Men, stop the silly video games, get off of Facebook, kill your porn habit, tell your ungodly friends to hit the road. You’re called to lead, love and die, if necessary, for your family.

We are the reason that the nation is deteriorating. We are the reason the family is breaking down. We must stop blaming everything from God to the government; we are the stench in the nostrils of a righteous, holy, pure God. Dads … wake up! Life is a battleground, not a playground!

I can hear it now, “Shane, you’re being too hard on the guys. Back off.” Really. Step into my world for a moment. Recall the excerpt of an email that opened this article. Sadly, this is not an isolated situation; it’s happens all the time. After re-reading it, you tell me if this message is too strong.

Men who are hurting their families don’t need to be encouraged and coddled; they often need to be confronted and challenged. Then encouragement can take place. Change is difficult if we always encourage but rarely challenge, and coddle but not confront. For example, the man referred to in the opening email was lovingly confronted, repentance took place and his marriage is stronger than ever.

How many of our wives could say similar things? Many years ago, I stumbled across a journal entry from my wife that broke my heart, but first I felt betrayed and angry. She wrote, “I married a man who doesn’t care about my dreams and goals in life. I’ve learned to live with this since separation isn’t an option, but I will not allow him to do this to our kids.”

I was very angry because the truth hurts. But I began to realize that she was absolutely correct. I was a controlling man with no regard for the dreams, ambitions and goals of my family. Granted, I was not mean-spirited about their dreams, but I was controlling. I’m embarrassed that I used to think things like, “That’s stupid, immature and ridiculous; why would you want to do that?” I felt terrible and asked for forgiveness. I realized that I was breaking the spirit of my family; controlling and manipulating because of pride, and how things would make me look.

That experience was a turning point—I now encourage my family versus discourage their dreams. I’m writing this, not to compare situations, but to illustrate the fact that God often uses confrontation and exposure to break us.

While dads jockey for position, build reputations, chase careers and so on, it’s often mothers who pray, petition, nurture, care for and lead. Granted, there are men who, through no fault of their own, experience failure in their home, but for the large majority, there is a critical need for spiritual leadership. Repentance is the first step. 

Knowledge is knowing that we need to repent, but wisdom is doing it. The power in the Word of God is found in the application. James 1:22 reminds us that we can deceive ourselves if we “know” what to do but fail to do it. Are you living in deception … knowing but not doing? 

Men, our families would rather “see” a sermon than “hear” one. “The lectures that you give may be very wise and true, but I’d rather get my lesson by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give, but there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live” (Edgar A. Guest; “I’d Rather See A Sermon”).

Watch the sermon Prone to Wander below:

Shane Idleman is the founder and lead pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship in Lancaster, California, just North of Los Angeles. He recently released his 7th book, Desperate for More of God at ShaneIdleman.com. Shane’s sermons, articles, books, and radio program can all be found at wcfav.org. Follow him on Facebook at: facebook.com/confusedchurch.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Will the New Set of Seven Years on the Jewish Calendar Be Our Last?

Will the New Set of Seven Years on the Jewish Calendar Be Our Last?

Note: This is the second of a two-part series. For part one, click here. Beginning at sunset on Sunday, Sept. 25, our Jewish friends (and increasingly many Christians) will begin a two-day celebration of Rosh Hashanah, their time for new beginnings or a "new year."...

Is America Preparing the Way for a One-World Ruler?

Is America Preparing the Way for a One-World Ruler?

The culmination of history is approaching. The end of the world may be at hand. Yet Jesus tells us we should not be alarmed. Why? Because we are engraved in the palms of His hands. Because we are carried in His arms. Because we are the apple of His eye. The time is...

A ‘Davidic Anointing’ is Descending Upon Musical Instruments

A ‘Davidic Anointing’ is Descending Upon Musical Instruments

I once heard a testimony where the Holy Ghost was falling upon the people during worship. The preacher, R.W. Schambach, testified how the piano player got so filled with the Spirit that she fell off of the piano bench and the piano kept right on playing. No other...

Joyce Meyer: How You Can Make God’s Love Your Lifestyle

Joyce Meyer: How You Can Make God’s Love Your Lifestyle

I have made it a priority to study about love in the Word of God. Getting a revelation about how much God loves me and learning to receive His love has been life-changing for me. It’s been the key to being able to really enjoy my life because when I received God’s...

Mario Murillo: What God is Saying About America’s Destruction

Mario Murillo: What God is Saying About America’s Destruction

Many prophetic words released today shout one of these two headlines: America Is Past Hope and Will Be Destroyed America Is Favored and Will Never Be Destroyed Facebook oozes with voices claiming to be prophets or mouthpieces for God. The internet teems with...

How The Christian Community Can Change American Politics for Good

How The Christian Community Can Change American Politics for Good

A fascinating discovery has taken place recently in the state of California. Locals there attest that the wildfires that have ravaged the landscape, lives and livelihoods of residents for a decade don’t seem to be getting any better. They seem to be getting worse,...

RECENT ARTICLES

Former Atheist: How the Deconstruction of Your Christian Faith Can Actually Strengthen It

Best-selling author Lee Strobel, an atheist and investigative journalist who failed to disprove the resurrection of Jesus during two years of digging for evidence, believes Christians who properly...
Rod Parsley: Are You the Pharisee or the Tax Collector?

Rod Parsley: Are You the Pharisee or the Tax Collector?

As with all virtues, humility has an opposite: pride. It should not surprise us that revival and restoration begins with humility, because all “falling away” begins with pride. Pride sent the archangel Lucifer plummeting from the heights of glorious splendor near the...

What to Do with an Urgent Warning from the Lord

What to Do with an Urgent Warning from the Lord

Many people are receiving urgent warnings from the Lord about things taking place in the earth. Releasing those warnings can be difficult. Done the wrong way, people will turn a deaf ear and the last thing you want to do is breed fear. Maybe you aren't getting...

Prophetic Word: ‘You Will Taste the Rain of Heaven’

Prophetic Word: ‘You Will Taste the Rain of Heaven’

Get ready for a supernatural strength to take over the land. It is time for worldwide revival and for you to reclaim what God has promised. Don’t back down and give in to despair. God’s plan is in motion. I heard the Lord say, “The enemy has brought discouragement and...

Mario Murillo: The Fuse to a National Awakening

Mario Murillo: The Fuse to a National Awakening

A lot of churchgoers yearn for soothing sermons. Meanwhile, a growing company seeks to understand authority, brokenness and Resurrection life. Who are these “others” who have their eyes wide open? They are too loud for most. They pray longer and deeper than what is...

The Value of the Golden Aged Among Us

The Value of the Golden Aged Among Us

Sarah bore Isaac when she was 90 years old. Moses led the Israelites out of bondage when he was 80. God cared for them, carried them, and used them! If you are nearing or are already in your golden years, don’t despair. You have much to offer to those behind you. You...

Pin It on Pinterest