Twentieth-century philosopher Bernard Williams once quipped, “If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.” It is a time for holding hands, sharing an ice cream as it playfully melts in the heat, and building the bonds of love that will hold a pair together when the briskness of winter returns.
It’s a good idea for a man to make good use of the opportunities in front of him while they are there, and summer holds so many for a husband wishing to brighten his marriage. Budgets need not be busted, brains need not be stretched too thin … all it takes is a sincere imagination and a willing heart. Just as the farmer plants his seeds to harvest in the autumn and store for the winter, we should use this time to plant the seeds of love that will have the same effect.
So, in that spirit, we offer a sample of suggestions of how to have a summer romance and create memories that will last a lifetime.
1. Work on intimacy. Romance comes from the heart and the mind. If there is one lesson that I continually have to keep learning after nearly 18 years of marriage, it’s that intimacy is the most critical need for long-term happiness together. Talk to her about real things. She craves it from you. But mostly, a man needs to truly listen. It’s the greatest gift of intimacy we can present our wives.
2. Appearance matters. Remember dating? When you would take great care to pick out the right shirt, fix your hair the best you could, and do all the other things to make yourself appealing to her? As partners in marriage, we accept each other as is. But if you are working on romance, appearance matters. We don’t need to be the best looking man in the room. We only need our wives to know that they are worth the effort.
3. Sex is NOT the priority. The world tells us that sex is the only successful conclusion to a romantic evening. The average married couple spends a great amount of energy worried about sex; when in reality, it’s their spiritual connection that is crying out for attention. Sex in marriage will result naturally when your spiritual connection is finely tuned. Work on that and see what happens.
4. Learn how to have fun again. Life can beat us down, but we can still find joy. Like the little kid who is running around in the pouring rain and doesn’t think for one second that it’s crazy, that spirit will lead to cherished memories with your wife.
What are some of your ideas for creating a summer romance?
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