A Surefire Way to Kill Lust in Your Life

by | Sep 18, 2017 | Man

When I speak at men’s conferences all over the world, I talk to men about how to fight the battle of lust in the early stages. James 1:15 talks about the three stages of this battle: first lust, second sin, third death. The best way not to tolerate sexual immorality is to kill lust.

Let me give you a few practical ways to kill the lust portion of the battle. Lust is a seed, so killing the seed is easier than killing a tree. Place a rubber band on your wrist. Every time you lust after a person, snap the rubber band (if you want, also quote appropriate Scripture). In about 30 days, you will actually retrain your brain to shut down lusting. If you have lusted through pornography, you have neurologically imprinted this through fantasy hundreds or thousands of times, and you have sinned against your own body (I Cor. 6:18). The rubber band will help you on all levels fight the battle of lust.

The military has a buddy system, and that works for Christian leaders as well. If you want to stop tolerating sexual temptation, then expose it to the light. So many Christian leaders want to do this just with confessing to Jesus using the Scripture I John 1:9 and yes, you are forgiven. However, you won’t be healed. That comes when you follow James 5:16 and get honest with somebody even about the small instances so it can’t continue to grow.

I have been sexually free for more than 30 years; no porn, masturbation or sex outside of marriage. I have an accountability partner. If anything remotely comes into my life, I am immediately open with him, and he does the same.

A pastor or Christian leader without an honest accountability partner is much more likely to fall than someone with an accountability partner. I spoke at a pastor’s conference and only about 15 percent of the pastors attending had an accountability partner. And we wonder why so many leaders fall!

If you are struggling and you feel you can’t talk to someone locally, make a telephone counseling appointment with one of our counselors to start the process. We need every leader to stay sexually pure.

Another very proactive measure for you as a leader to be sexually successful is to get a porn blocker on all of your computers. If you have a cell phone with internet access, you can block the internet from your phone. Remember the internet is the largest porn store of all time, and it is just a good idea not to have easy access to a porn store.

A last area of sexual integrity is to have fulfilling sex within your marriage. This is not just about physical sex because sex is about spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy. We have to talk a little about each. As a Christian leader, if you are not praying with your spouse, you’re not only a hypocrite, you are going to have a lower quality of sex, and you will be more sexually vulnerable. Also, sharing your feelings with your spouse and making time daily to connect emotionally is critical. If this isn’t happening, you can actually sabotage your marriage and your sex life.

Your spouse needs to be your closest friend. Intimacy is a result of discipline. If you lack the basic relationship skills of daily prayer, the sharing of feelings with each other and praising your spouse, you will lack intimacy, become vulnerable to another person and can easily join the group of fallen leaders in this crucial hour.

I know it is possible to have sexual integrity. We have helped so many ministers get and stay free from lust, sin and death, so consider your value in the kingdom. Your Savior has done what He can to bless you.

He needs more leaders with sexual integrity, and you deserve that blessing. If you need to strengthen your marriage, please do. If you don’t presently have an accountability partner or group, get one soon. If you have secrets you haven’t told anyone, please share them with someone now.

Jesus wants every leader to grow and prosper, save souls, make disciples and keep His testimony of sexual purity until the finishing line. You deserve that feeling of knowing you have been a good and faithful servant in this critical time. {eoa}

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Clean. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook or by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Anne Graham Lotz: One Kingdom Truth That Will Never Change

Anne Graham Lotz: One Kingdom Truth That Will Never Change

Out of respect for those of you who have taken the time to comment about a statement I made 11 years ago regarding the World Economic Forum, I thought it would be beneficial to restate God’s call on my life. In 1988, He made it clear that I was to be His messenger,...

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Only Pulpits Have the Power to Change America

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Only Pulpits Have the Power to Change America

One thing is crystal clear in America: If we truly want change, we must re-spark biblical boldness and flame the fires of biblical action. If we won't fight, then spiritually speaking, we will fade away. I recently attended a large gathering of pastors in San Diego...

A Big Excuse That Shuts Down Our Ability to Hear from God

A Big Excuse That Shuts Down Our Ability to Hear from God

One of the biggest excuses we have is that we somehow feel God doesn’t speak to us. This excuse shuts down our ability to hear from Him, trust Him and surrender to Him. All three things are integral when we are trying to change our habits, lose weight, get healthy and...

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

Two weeks ago, I shared several practical guidelines on how to leave a church gracefully. I wrote this because I hear so many stories about people storming out of churches because their feelings got hurt. But one astute reader didn’t appreciate my observations because...

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

“Behold, the day of the LORD comes, cruel, with both wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate; and He will destroy its sinners from it. For the stars of heaven and their constellations will not give their light; the sun will be darkened in its going forth, and...

How You Can Plead the Blood of Jesus in the Courts of Heaven

How You Can Plead the Blood of Jesus in the Courts of Heaven

You have an enemy. His goal is to keep you from entering a covenant relationship with God. However, once you do, his goal changes. He wants to make you doubt your identity, doubt God’s ability and keep you from walking in your purpose. He changes his accusations...

Why God Will Sometimes Hesitate to Give Your Mountain

Why God Will Sometimes Hesitate to Give Your Mountain

Recently, I was having a discussion over coffee with a group of friends when one of them asked the question: “Can you believe how much the world has changed in what seems to be a very short time?” My answer was: “Yes. Yes, I have no problem believing how much the...

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

If a person were to ask, “Why speak in tongues?” couldn’t we also ask, “Why pray?” The Word of God shows a definite value in praying with an unknown tongue. Jesus tells us that “it is necessary always to pray” (Luke 18:1, MEV). Later, in speaking of prayer, Paul...

RECENT ARTICLES

What ‘The Jetsons’ and Cindy Jacobs Prophetically Got Right

Just as the 1960s cartoon The Jetsons depicted a future full of video phones, robotics and Google-style office space, some modern-day prophets have prophesied about a future full of exposing...
The Blueprints for Building a Powerful and Abundant Life for Jesus

The Blueprints for Building a Powerful and Abundant Life for Jesus

Have you ever seen blueprints? If not, blueprints are detailed drawings, containing specifications approved by the builder of a home. A blueprint fully outlines the quality of the materials needed to build a stable and trustworthy home. For a Christian, the Bible is...

9 Reasons Why God Never Tries to Prove His Existence

9 Reasons Why God Never Tries to Prove His Existence

God is self-authenticating. He never tries to prove His existence because it is already evident through the created order. Since He is the only objective being, all other living and nonliving objects emanate from His creative fiat word hence all reasoning (different...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]