A Critical Ingredient in Any Christ-Centered Marriage

by | Sep 20, 2017 | Man

The creation of our spouse was a certain level of God’s creativity and genius. Our spouse, among the billions of people in the world, is unique in so many ways. His or her family’s experiences, walk with God, friends, education, choices, ambitions and gifts make him or her the way they are.

I believe it is our privilege, over the course of our entire lives, to get to know and learn about these unique creatures, our spouses, as they evolve throughout our servant marriage. It is not only our privilege, but our calling to serve them “till death do us part.”

Your spouse has an amazing spirit, given to him or her by God. God, as a gift, also gives their spirit to you. This gift, like so many gifts of God, needs to be personally cared for and maintained by you.

Your spouse has an almost incomprehensible soul. Their mind, will and emotions is under your care and influence for decades. This area of his or her being will also require care from you in a servant marriage.

Our spouse is above all a spirit being. At their core is a spirit that best operates if their spirit is being fed and nourished.

Now, before I talk more about your spouse, I want to first talk about you. You are a spirit being as well. Taking care of yourself spiritually is definitely the first order of business to be able to spiritually serve your spouse.

In Romans 1:15 (NIV), Paul says, “That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel …” I cannot serve very well spiritually if I am not spiritually consistent and growing. The reverse happens if a spouse is spiritually weak and inconsistent. He or she will negatively impact your marriage rather than positively impact it.

I said all of this to say that reading your Bible, praying, worshipping and growing spiritually daily and regularly is critical to having a servant marriage. If you do not serve God well, you will be more likely not to serve your spouse well either.

Regular church attendance and meeting regularly with a friend of the same gender is very helpful. When you grow spiritually, everyone in your life benefits.

Your spouse also benefits greatly when you pray together. As a servant, you do not have to worry about this being your personality or not. It is your responsibility to attempt to connect together spiritually. Praying together daily or regularly in the presence of God the Father and God the father-in-law is a blessing to Him. I believe He loves being with both of you at the same time as well as individually. He created this trinity of marriage with you both so that He could fellowship and commune with you together. In a servant marriage, your spiritual walk involves both of you together, and not just you as a single man or woman.

Remember, marriage is a three-person entity, not just two. Therefore, I encourage you to enjoy the third person in your marriage together on a regular basis. Beyond praying together, some couples read the Bible together, which is great. When Lisa and I do this, we discuss what we learn for ourselves, not what we think the other person should be learning or applying. Spiritual time together is a way for the servant to honor his or her spouse. Being consistent in spiritual time together is vital for your marriage.

The soul of your spouse has been given to you to serve, bless and support. You are to be part of its healing and growth, standing by as they take risks, and watching them discover their own amazingness.

In Scripture, the soul is described as the mind, will and emotions. Understanding how and why your spouse thinks is a lifelong journey of listening and understanding them. As a servant to your spouse, your ability to serve will be expanded or limited by how well you understand your spouse.

Emotions can drive the will as well. In fact, this is by far the most volatile driver of the will. When emotions drive the will, facts and truth can be close at hand or far away, regardless of which gender you are.

As a servant to your spouse, you want to do your best to know who is driving the will before you engage it. If you engage the will before having a clear understanding of who is driving at various speeds, you might be more likely to be engaged in a hit-and-run accident or other incident involving a motor vehicle.

Another aspect of the will that is important to you is to encourage the will when it is operating properly or growing. If your spouse is utilizing their will to learn more, go to school, expand a talent, address difficult issues, build positive relationships or just get their body back in shape, you want to be their cheerleader.

Your encouragement and praise of them as their spouse can help them believe in themselves. Your praise can also help your spouse take one more step toward reaching the goal they have set out to reach. Your voice can strengthen or weaken the will of your spouse, depending on whether you serve well with praise or poorly by being critical. As a servant toward your spouse, you would do well to strengthen and encourage your spouse to use his or her will to glorify God, the Creator.

As a servant of your spouse, you will want to learn how he or she takes course correction in regard to their will. Do they do it primarily with the Lord, friends of the same gender, through reading more information, by researching his or her family, pastor or other person of influence?  Once you learn this, encourage them in the process that works best.

Your service toward your spouse is given to you by God and empowered by His Spirit over your lifetime. He created marriage for you to become Christlike and smile as you begin to look like Him and talk like Him to your spouse. {eoa}

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Servant Marriage. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook or by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Prophetic Words: End of Year Prophecies to Guide You into 2023

Prophetic Words: End of Year Prophecies to Guide You into 2023

Chris Reed's Prophetic Word Over China: Unprecedented mass protests are unfolding right now across China. The country is seeing the largest pushback in decades, following their "zero COVID strategy" still in place today. China's Communist Party has continued to...

Declaring a Great Awakening Among Prodigals

Declaring a Great Awakening Among Prodigals

Read Time: 1 Minute 23 Seconds It’s a shocking statistic! More than 80 and up to 90% of children who grow up in church are leaving the church once they reach 18. Sadly, only 40% return, according to Focus on the Family. I believe, with prayer, we can defy those...

Bible Verse of the Day, Dec. 8th: Advent Season, Isaiah 11:1-10

Bible Verse of the Day, Dec. 8th: Advent Season, Isaiah 11:1-10

Isaiah 11:1-10 And there shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots. The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the...

Marilyn Hickey: God Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Marilyn Hickey: God Can Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Read Time: 2 Minutes 2 Seconds Have you ever broken a bone? If so, you know what it’s like to go through a painful healing process. Consider what that might feel like in the spiritual realm. Sometimes we can get broken in various ways in life, but God wants to “set”...

COGIC Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Dies at 65

COGIC Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Dies at 65

Read Time: 1 Minute 59 Seconds Bishop J. Drew Sheard and the General Board of the Eastern Florida Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction of the Church of God in Christ announced Tuesday the death of one of its most beloved leaders, Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Hutchins was 65....

RECENT ARTICLES

Don’t Criticize Charismatics

They are saying the charismatic movement is divisive. Whenever people get involved in the "new emphasis," there are disruptions in the status quo. Red flags go up. Lines are drawn. I would ask: What...
Jonathan Cahn Reveals the Mystery of the Molten Beast

Jonathan Cahn Reveals the Mystery of the Molten Beast

Read Time: 6 Minutes, 42 Seconds Is it possible that ancient entities known as "the gods" have returned to our world? Could these gods actually be the unseen movers and catalysts of what's happening in America and the world today? Could they lie behind the current...

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Read Time: 3 Minutes 37 Seconds Most made-for-TV Christmas movies are like eggnog and sugar cookies—way too sweet, yet extremely addictive for a lot of viewers. But these Hallmark-style movies—the ones with predictable love stories that always end with jingling bells...

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Read Time: 1 Minute 51 Seconds At a recent gathering where a member was struggling, I heard and declared by the Spirit of the Lord, “Goodness is following you, TURN and see; embrace His goodness in this moment and watch the shift!” There was an immediate shift and...

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Read Time: 2 Minutes 25 Seconds If you search the phrase, “where does life come from?” the first explanation reads: “The origin of life is a result of a supernatural event—and readily arises from nonliving matter in short periods of time, today as in the past.” The...

Raise Your Praise!

Raise Your Praise!

These are the days that may leave you feeling defeated. You may be wondering when these present trials will end or how can you strengthen your faith for the battle as you wrestle against powers and principalities that come against you, in addition to the challenges...

Pin It on Pinterest