5 Things to Do When Your Wife Is Wrong and You Know It

by | Sep 22, 2016 | Man

This week my wife and I had a major blow up—one of those that impact you for a while. The argument ended in tears for everyone, including our kids who witnessed the entire incident.

To be transparent, we are still working through it, so details will have to come in a future post.

We both said and did things that hurt one another deeply. I felt, and still do feel, she was wrong. But my marriage mentor challenged me not to let my feelings dictate my actions, and instead to base my actions on the commitment that I’d already made years ago. In other words, my relationship with my wife tops my desire to be right.

Your wife, like my wife, is not perfect. There are going to be times when she does things and says things that are just plain wrong. But don’t let it and the feelings it triggers cause even more problems in your marriage.

Instead of letting your feelings run the show and being known as the couple fighting constantly, let your commitment dictate what you do—the commitment to love her unconditionally, and do so for life. I made a covenant agreement, not a conditional agreement based on her actions.

Here are five things you must do when your wife is wrong and you know it.

1. Be honest. A tendency I have when my wife does or says something that hurts me is to be dishonest. You probably do the same. Has she ever asked you, “what’s wrong?” or “is everything okay?” And you responded “nothing” or “yep,” when actually just the opposite was true. You can’t do that. You have to be honest with her, and with yourself about how you felt wronged.

2. Look at you, not her. Another tendency we have is to focus solely on her, especially when she is wrong. Once you begin to focus on her, and not you, you begin to think her changing is the solution. Changing her is not the solution because you can’t do it. You can only change you. So, begin to look at yourself, look at what you can control, and begin there.

3. Don’t fight fire with fire. If you came home and your house was on fire, what would you think if the fire department began setting little fires all around your house. You’d think they were crazy, and you would lose hope that your home could be saved from the blazes. Just the same, when your wife wrongs you, you can’t wrong her to make it right.

4. Tune in, don’t tune out. When your wife is wrong and hurts you, I’m sure you can find a thousand different things to avoid her and avoid the hurt. You can go all in at work, staying late, taking on extra projects, bringing work home and hiding out until it’s done. You can find an infinite number of projects around the house. You can hang with the fellas, find a game to watch, go fishing, whatever. Those aren’t all necessarily bad. But don’t use them to tune out your wife and your marriage. Instead, you have to tune in to her and your marriage even more. Be more attentive to her and her needs. 

5. Treat her better than she deserves. This is the exclamation point on handling things when your wife is wrong and you know it. She may have done something so terrible that you can’t imagine this, but this very behavior will be the saving grace of your marriage. You have to pay the price by loving her in spite of her not loving you.

So, treat her with patience when she is not patient. Treat her kindly when she isn’t kind to you. Don’t keep a track record of her wrongs even if she does. This in time will win her over, and the actions you take will better allow you to move on from whatever it was she did or said to you. Consistently doing this will lead your wife to loving you in a way you can only imagine. {eoa}

Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger, and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father of three, who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.

For the original article, visit allprodad.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

What to Give Jesus for Christmas

What to Give Jesus for Christmas

The average holiday household budget for Christmas 2022 is projected to be $823. Each year, many Americans celebrate Christmas with an outpouring of gift-giving. Christians are no exception. During the Christmas season of 30 years ago, we estimated that many Christian...

Biblical Prophecy Is Unfolding as the World Turns Against Israel

Biblical Prophecy Is Unfolding as the World Turns Against Israel

Read time: 2 minutes 20 seconds Christians across the globe believe they are living in the End Times. And evidence continues to pile up in that belief's corner. The world is currently enduring a conglomeration of events that are all predicted to occur in the Bible,...

How Real Hope Can Change Your Life

How Real Hope Can Change Your Life

Read Time: 3 Minutes 55 Seconds For many years, I was an extremely negative person. I could walk into a room and pick out the one small detail that was wrong, like the wallpaper in the corner that was slightly peeling. I saw what was wrong with everything! The reason...

Bible Verse of the Day, Dec. 9th: Advent Season, Micah 5:2-3

Bible Verse of the Day, Dec. 9th: Advent Season, Micah 5:2-3

Micah 5:2-3 But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, although you are small among the tribes of Judah, from you will come forth for Me one who will be ruler over Israel. His origins are from of old, from ancient days. Therefore He will give them up, until the time when she who...

7 Different States of the Human Condition Related to God

7 Different States of the Human Condition Related to God

Read Time: 4 Minutes 14 Seconds The scripture teaches us that all humanity (at least subconsciously) knows God, which is why no one will have an excuse before the judgment seat of Christ (Rom. 1:20). God has also set an intuited sense of eternity in every human...

RECENT ARTICLES

Controversial Megachurch Pastor Greg Locke Gets Candid About His Censorship

Read Time: 1 minute 30 seconds A few weeks ago, Pastor Greg Locke was censored by YouTube after they accused him of "violating their Community Guidelines." We sat down with Locke for an exclusive...
Prophetic Words: End of Year Prophecies to Guide You into 2023

Prophetic Words: End of Year Prophecies to Guide You into 2023

Chris Reed's Prophetic Word Over China: Unprecedented mass protests are unfolding right now across China. The country is seeing the largest pushback in decades, following their "zero COVID strategy" still in place today. China's Communist Party has continued to...

Declaring a Great Awakening Among Prodigals

Declaring a Great Awakening Among Prodigals

Read Time: 1 Minute 23 Seconds It’s a shocking statistic! More than 80 and up to 90% of children who grow up in church are leaving the church once they reach 18. Sadly, only 40% return, according to Focus on the Family. I believe, with prayer, we can defy those...

COGIC Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Dies at 65

COGIC Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Dies at 65

Read Time: 1 Minute 59 Seconds Bishop J. Drew Sheard and the General Board of the Eastern Florida Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction of the Church of God in Christ announced Tuesday the death of one of its most beloved leaders, Bishop Derrick Hutchins Sr. Hutchins was 65....

Pin It on Pinterest