5 Practical Steps to Beat the Lust in Your Heart

by | Nov 29, 2018 | Man

In a book I wrote several years ago called 101 Freedom Exercises: A Christian Guide for Sexual Addiction Recovery, I outline several exercises to help men get and stay free from lust. The following is a summarization of some of these exercises, as well as a few more I have learned along the way.

1. Pray for Them: When a person becomes an object of lust for you, you can turn them back into a person by giving them a relational context to God and others. Here is a sample prayer:

God I know You love and died for this woman and that You desire a relationship with her. I pray that if she doesn’t know You, that You will reveal Yourself to her so she can know You for eternity. I pray for her husband (or future husband) that he will be a man of God, full of Your Spirit and wisdom. I pray for her children (or future children) that they will know and serve You all their days. I pray for her parents, that You would encourage them and bless their daughter.

Now how many women do you think the enemy is going to present to you to lust after if all you do is pray them into the kingdom? The self-defense arts teach one early on how to block a punch. If the enemy throws you a temptation, or your flesh just happens to kick up, pray, and you will walk away feeling successful instead of guilty.

2. Look Them in the Eyes: If you start to lust after women when you gaze into their eyes, avoid their eyes! If you lust below the neck or waist, then keep your eyes above the neck so they don’t travel over her body scanning her.

3. The One-Second Rule: In sex addiction recovery, there is a one-second policy: Don’t look at a woman longer than one second. Living in the television and computer age, men can learn to scan a woman in less time than that. Regardless, keep your gaze very short. And remember, you aren’t under any obligation to check out each woman that walks by.

4. Accountability: I find that if a man walks in the light in the area of lust, he is less likely to struggle. James 5:16a says, “Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” It’s great to confess your sin of lust to Jesus (1 John 1:9) but that will only get you forgiveness. Most of us who struggle with lust need healing. You’ll only attain healing if you humble yourself to another man.

Something powerful happens when you humble yourself to another man. I purposely say “man.” Don’t wimp out and try to do this only with your wife. Man to man, be honest with a brother in the Lord, and you will see lust decrease tremendously. If you have an accountability partner like this, it can scourge the seed of lust that would otherwise bring a future harvest of sin and death. Accountability works! (See Eccl. 4:10.)

5. Lust Log: Some men in an accountability relationship keep a “lust log.” This is simply a piece of paper you keep in your pocket. Each time you lust or objectify a woman, put a mark on the paper. Check in daily for 100 days with your accountability partner as to how you are doing.

Some competitive friends even make the man with the highest score pay for the lunch of the low-scoring man each week. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you can stop lusting when there is free food on the line!

Lust is a learned intentional behavior. You can unlearn lust. You can follow several admonitions of the Word of God to battle this lust. You can walk in the Spirit (Gal: 5:16) and not gratify the desire of sinful nature. You can use Romans 12:2 and transform your mind with Scripture. God’s Word is a great tool to have at your disposal in this battle.

Moreover, we can fill ourselves with God’s divine power, given to us in salvation, so that we don’t follow evil desires, according to 1 Peter 1: 3-4. I also like the verse in Colossians 3:5: “Put to death (or mortify) the parts of your earthly nature: sexual immorality, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil desire.”

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Sex Men and God. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Is He a God of Wrath or a God of Love?

Do you think the God of the Old Testament is a God of wrath, and the God of the New Testament is a God of love? The truth is that God is the same throughout the entire Bible. His wrath and His love are revealed in both the Old and the New Testaments. So why, then, did...

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

How You Can Have a Perfect Heart

Your heart is the most important part of you. It’s not only a physical organ that keeps your blood pumping, but when the Bible refers to the heart, it’s talking about who you really are. Each person has an inner and an outer life. There’s the person we show to...

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

How the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Lago Is Spiritual Warfare

It's been a few days since the FBI raided President Donald Trump's home in Mar-a-Lago, and the Biden Administration has yet to explain to the American people why they did what's never been done in American history—the government raiding the home of a former president....

How the Holy Spirit Can Restore Your True Sanity

How the Holy Spirit Can Restore Your True Sanity

Most of my life I tried to avoid one thing—being crazy or insane. When I was growing up my mother had emotional issues and saw a psychiatrist regularly. She was on medication which only seemed to make her mood swings worse. She had high highs, and low lows. When I...

Israel Prophecy: The Enemy is Stirring an Unimaginable Conflict

Israel Prophecy: The Enemy is Stirring an Unimaginable Conflict

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJFFqAgykmU A cease-fire between Israel and Palestinian militants took effect late Sunday in a bid to end nearly three days of violence that killed dozens of Palestinians and disrupted the lives of hundreds of thousands of Israelis,...

RECENT ARTICLES

Why Partial Obedience to God is Disobedience

My husband had a saying for our children growing up. “Partial obedience is disobedience.” He wanted them to understand that doing half the plan would not get them the full reward. Another reminder...
Kingdom Economics: Why is America Declining Spiritually So Quickly?

Kingdom Economics: Why is America Declining Spiritually So Quickly?

The Bureau of Labor Statistics released a surprisingly strong July Employment Report.  Total nonfarm employment was 528K (398K previously, 250K expected).  Private nonfarm employment was 471K (404K previously, 230K expected). The headline unemployment rate dropped to...

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

The wind is a funny thing. We do not know where it comes from nor where it goes. We cannot see it, but we can see and feel its effects. Wind can be gentle and refreshing, cold or hot, strong, and dangerous, and everything in between. When the wind blows, we must...

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

It is interesting that, as a Messianic rabbi the question I am asked most often by Christians is if I believe that they as Christians have to celebrate, or observe, the biblical Holy Days. They are usually asking about those days listed in Leviticus 23: Shabbat, Yom...

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

As the crackdown against Christianity in America grows, it is a cycle believers have seen before. While no one celebrates their religious freedom coming under attack, God has used this persecution to great effect throughout history. Over the centuries, there have been...

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Change can be challenging. Some people look forward to change and embrace it. Some people dread change and try to avoid it. Since change is inevitable, so here are some of the dynamics surrounding change and the specific strategies to deal with change more...

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

This past weekend I preached at The Roads Church, a charismatic congregation located in the tiny town of Norris City, Illinois. Located amid cornfields, the population is only 1,325, but almost that many people visit the church on weekends. They come from all over...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]