5 of the Most Challenging Things About Fatherhood

by | Mar 28, 2016 | Man

Before fatherhood, I would have told you that I was easy going, patient, and had incredible emotional control. I may have even believed I was good under pressure.

All of those delusions are gone now. The stress and difficulty of fatherhood have brought the truth of me to the surface like nothing else ever could.

In my first year of fatherhood, I was feeling the heat at work, in addition to a shrinking bank account, a messy house, and constantly feeling like I had no idea what I was doing. Late one night I was completely stressed out and went for a drive to get some alone time. I pulled up to a red light of an abandoned intersection and sat there quietly for a moment. All of the stress exploded out and I started yelling and screaming for a full minute.

As I sat there breathing heavy after my tirade, I noticed something in my peripheral vision. So I turned my head slowly to my right to see four wide-eyed high school girls in the car next to me staring with their mouths open. I nodded casually, turned forward, and drove off.

People may have told you parenthood is difficult, but you can never really know until it hits you in the face. However, knowing the things that push our buttons gives us a better chance of managing the stress and growing as a person.

Here are some of the most stressful things about fatherhood, and more importantly, how to deal with stress as a dad:

1. Marriage — Transitioning from husband and wife to dad and mom is a foundational shift. It takes a new rhythm, set of priorities, and way of relating. Marriages become easily strained in feelings of neglect and conflicting parenting styles. If we have baggage from how we were raised or from hidden distrust, this is when it tends to come out. As a newly married couple, it’s easy to keep things like that buried or denied. When kids enter the picture, our patience with a spouse’s faults wears thin causing both to be at odds. In marriage, you need to assume good intention, constantly communicate, listen and pursue understanding, as well as love and cherish your spouse. After becoming parents, this is even more important.

2. Finances – When I was single, my cousin who had two teenagers at the time told me that if I had kids I needed to be ready for the cost. Nothing stresses me out more than the financial burden of a family. Don’t get me wrong, they are more than worth every penny spent and every feeling of anxiety. But the expenses seem never ending. The times where I am most stressed is when we don’t have a prepared budget or an agreed upon plan.

Knowing what you are working towards is the best place to start. Our friends at brightpeak financial can also provide professional guidance to help you build a family financial plan.

3. High demand – Never in our lives has so much been demanded of us. Our time, energy, and resources are constantly given to family and work. It’s exhausting and can be overwhelming. It’s important to remember the big picture. When I ran a marathon, there were grueling hills that required all of my energy. Running those sections was tough but it grew my muscles, enabling me to run farther. This season of high demand will eventually come to an end or, at least, ease up. I believe in the end it will strengthen our character and, depending on how we manage it, will lead to a wonderful legacy for our children.

4. No control. Anything can happen when you have kids. Literally, anything. I do much better when I know what’s coming and how I’m going to handle it. Kids are unpredictable. I can nurture, mold, and discipline my kids, but I can’t control their decisions or behavior. I catch myself living in fear of how I will be perceived by what my kids do. I live in fear of being confronted with situations as a parent where I have no idea what to do or say. Our wise marriage counselor told us when we were expecting our first; when your baby is born, start letting go. I realize now that I need to let go of more than just my kids. I need to let go of my fears and the need to control.

5. Sibling fighting. As much as I anticipate my kids fighting with one another, it still makes my stomach churn. When relationships are not right, I lack peace. Unfortunately, my first response comes from my boiling stress and I send them to room jail while roaring like a lion. My wife is much better at seizing the opportunity to teach them how to reconcile and love each other. My response brings a false sense of peace. My wife’s brings real peace. I’m still working on improving on this one.

BJ Foster is the Content Manager for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit allprodad.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

Can You Discern Spiritual Wind?

The wind is a funny thing. We do not know where it comes from nor where it goes. We cannot see it, but we can see and feel its effects. Wind can be gentle and refreshing, cold or hot, strong, and dangerous, and everything in between. When the wind blows, we must...

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

Messianic Rabbi: He That Has an Eye, Let Him Hear

It is interesting that, as a Messianic rabbi the question I am asked most often by Christians is if I believe that they as Christians have to celebrate, or observe, the biblical Holy Days. They are usually asking about those days listed in Leviticus 23: Shabbat, Yom...

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

How the Holy Spirit Is Preparing America

As the crackdown against Christianity in America grows, it is a cycle believers have seen before. While no one celebrates their religious freedom coming under attack, God has used this persecution to great effect throughout history. Over the centuries, there have been...

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Dealing Effectively with the Dynamics of Change

Change can be challenging. Some people look forward to change and embrace it. Some people dread change and try to avoid it. Since change is inevitable, so here are some of the dynamics surrounding change and the specific strategies to deal with change more...

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

God’s Holy Interruption Is Coming Soon

This past weekend I preached at The Roads Church, a charismatic congregation located in the tiny town of Norris City, Illinois. Located amid cornfields, the population is only 1,325, but almost that many people visit the church on weekends. They come from all over...

The Biblical Way to Rise Above Mediocre Expectations

The Biblical Way to Rise Above Mediocre Expectations

We spend a lot of life figuring out if we “measure up,” a phrase someone coined in the mid-1800s. Even in childhood, we begin comparing ourselves with siblings and kids at school, and it never seems to stop. The problem goes back to Cain and Abel, doesn’t it? Most of...

RECENT ARTICLES

Charles Finney Said These 3 Attitudes Will Destroy Revival in America

According to the Pew Research Center, Christianity in America is declining at an alarming rate. In the 1990s, 86% of Americans identified themselves as Christian. By 2007 that number had dropped to...
A Better Way to Witness to Others for Christ

A Better Way to Witness to Others for Christ

”Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” (Rom. 2:4). Looking retrospectively at my past as an atheist, I can see where God...

Why Does God Want Us to Speak with Tongues?

Why Does God Want Us to Speak with Tongues?

Why speak with tongues? There are many reasons for speaking in a spiritual language. Primarily, though, the Scriptures require it. The apostle Paul commanded us, saying, “Pray in the Spirit always” (Eph. 6:18). Jude commanded it in verse 20, saying, “Pray in the Holy...

Why God’s Rebuilding is Better Than His Restoration

Why God’s Rebuilding is Better Than His Restoration

Often, I have prayed for the Lord to restore something in my life. Whenever I have gone through a hard season or a broken relationship, my prayers automatically petition the Lord to restore my situation. Whenever there is a loss, and you are going through the grieving...

Why America Must Adopt the Battle Cry of Isaiah

Why America Must Adopt the Battle Cry of Isaiah

A battle cry is used to summon armies to war. A loud, unified shout could intimidate the strongest of enemies. Confidence in battle often tilts the scale toward victory, whereas timidity, fear and cowardliness will surely lead to defeat. In these dreadful times, don’t...

Intentionally Raising a Godly Generation

Intentionally Raising a Godly Generation

Debbie put her faith in Christ at age 11. In fact, her whole family met Jesus at just about the same time. As her parents began growing in their faith, they nurtured growth in their children as well. Family Bible reading, prayer and talking about God’s leading in...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]