4 Ways You Could End Up With a Teen Who Hates You

by | Apr 28, 2016 | Man

Imagine me holding the ends of two very long strings in between my thumb and finger.

The strings go a long way off into the distance side by side. Now imagine if one of those strings went left, but only by the slightest degree. If you followed the strings, they would appear to be side by side for a while; however, eventually they would end up further and further apart.

That’s what it can be like for many parents of kids moving from childhood into adolescence. They had been parenting a certain way and it was working fine. Then things changed. All of a sudden there was attitude and rebellion. The harder the parents try, the worse things seem to get. Oftentimes they wonder, “Where did my sweet little kid go?”

The reality is that as kids grow and move into the teen years, a parent has to change the way he or she parents. Over the years, I have seen many parents of teens struggle while also hearing plenty of feedback from the teen side of things. You may be asking yourself, “I wonder why my teenager hates me. How did we get here?” There are a couple of behaviors or approaches to parenting teens that will drive the strings further apart. Avoiding those is important in order to have a good and open relationship with your teenagers. Here are four ways to end up with a teen who hates you.

Assume You Know and Understand, When You Don’t

If you don’t take the time to listen to them, you will lose their trust pretty quickly. The reason most teenagers don’t want to be around adults is because they feel like adults don’t understand them and yet continue to bark out advice like experts. Don’t assume that you know what they’re going through just because you were a teen once. You may have wisdom to offer, but it will miss the mark without a rich combination of context and empathy.

Follow Up Every Compliment With a Criticism

It’s natural to see things that they need to work on and want to correct it immediately, maybe even on an hourly basis. Choose your battles and the most important ones. Imagine if 50 percent of your interactions with your boss were criticisms. You’d probably want to quit or avoid him or her. Think of it like currency you are spending. If every criticism or “opportunity for growth” is one dollar, every encouraging word or fun activity with them is worth about 20 cents. Do five for one. Earn the right, and it will increase the chance of them listening.

Project Your Agenda on Their Life

They serve a world of adult agendas. Many adults care less about nurturing kids than utilizing them for their own pursuits. Companies market them to buy stuff that strips them of their childhood early, being overwhelmed by homework so schools can win an award, a coach who wants a championship, a youth pastor that pressures them to bring their friends because he wants a successful program. Don’t get me wrong. I know many amazing teachers, coaches and youth leaders, but teens today are contending with too many adult agendas. Be different and you will win their heart. Nurture them toward their dreams, not someone else’s, particularly yours.

Pressure Them to Perform

I recently saw a documentary about kids in sports. One father, a former college football player, was adamant that he needed to be hard on his son to get him to perform better. With every interaction, his teenage son’s demeanor would sink. It was painful to watch, and I spent most of the two hours angry. It was easy to see the son wanting more and more to be away from his father. Unfortunately, the father was oblivious as he pontificated his parenting philosophy, expecting people to give him a standing ovation.

Teens don’t need pressure from parents. They already get enough everywhere else. They need unconditional love and guidance. {eoa}

BJ Foster is the content manager for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit allprodad.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

How Do You Leave a Church That Becomes Toxic?

Two weeks ago, I shared several practical guidelines on how to leave a church gracefully. I wrote this because I hear so many stories about people storming out of churches because their feelings got hurt. But one astute reader didn’t appreciate my observations because...

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

Prophetic Word: There Will Be a Day of Reckoning

“Behold, the day of the LORD comes, cruel, with both wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate; and He will destroy its sinners from it. For the stars of heaven and their constellations will not give their light; the sun will be darkened in its going forth, and...

How You Can Plead the Blood of Jesus in the Courts of Heaven

How You Can Plead the Blood of Jesus in the Courts of Heaven

You have an enemy. His goal is to keep you from entering a covenant relationship with God. However, once you do, his goal changes. He wants to make you doubt your identity, doubt God’s ability and keep you from walking in your purpose. He changes his accusations...

Why God Will Sometimes Hesitate to Give Your Mountain

Why God Will Sometimes Hesitate to Give Your Mountain

Recently, I was having a discussion over coffee with a group of friends when one of them asked the question: “Can you believe how much the world has changed in what seems to be a very short time?” My answer was: “Yes. Yes, I have no problem believing how much the...

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

8 Reasons for You to Speak in Tongues

If a person were to ask, “Why speak in tongues?” couldn’t we also ask, “Why pray?” The Word of God shows a definite value in praying with an unknown tongue. Jesus tells us that “it is necessary always to pray” (Luke 18:1, MEV). Later, in speaking of prayer, Paul...

What ‘The Jetsons’ and Cindy Jacobs Prophetically Got Right

What ‘The Jetsons’ and Cindy Jacobs Prophetically Got Right

Just as the 1960s cartoon The Jetsons depicted a future full of video phones, robotics and Google-style office space, some modern-day prophets have prophesied about a future full of exposing corruption, fighting for individual freedom and shining a light on truth. One...

The Blueprints for Building a Powerful and Abundant Life for Jesus

The Blueprints for Building a Powerful and Abundant Life for Jesus

Have you ever seen blueprints? If not, blueprints are detailed drawings, containing specifications approved by the builder of a home. A blueprint fully outlines the quality of the materials needed to build a stable and trustworthy home. For a Christian, the Bible is...

9 Reasons Why God Never Tries to Prove His Existence

9 Reasons Why God Never Tries to Prove His Existence

God is self-authenticating. He never tries to prove His existence because it is already evident through the created order. Since He is the only objective being, all other living and nonliving objects emanate from His creative fiat word hence all reasoning (different...

RECENT ARTICLES

Dutch Sheets Prophesies: The Evil Plans of the Wicked Will Boomerang Back

The events of last week have shocked many Americans. While my responsibility and calling is not to defend individuals or political parties, it is worth pointing out that what the Left did on 8/8,...
How Prophetic Evangelism Is Impacting Change in Today’s Culture

How Prophetic Evangelism Is Impacting Change in Today’s Culture

Dr. Candice Smithyman, host of Manifest His Presence on the Charisma Podcast Network, recently interviewed apostle Stacey Campbell, founder of Shiloh Global about how prophecy can impact today’s culture. Apostle Campbell is passionate about teaching young people and...

Prophetic Vision: Three Tables Are Set

Prophetic Vision: Three Tables Are Set

Recently as I was worshipping the Lord, I went into a vision where I could see I was in a dark and very deep valley. It was nighttime, and the valley was surrounded by tall mountains. On the top of each I could see the outlines of men and instinctively knew they were...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]