4 Smart Ways to Resolve Conflict With Your Child

by | May 14, 2018 | Man

During the Great Depression and World War II, the mayor of New York was Fiorello Enrico La Guardia. He was a magnanimous leader packed into a five-foot body. La Guardia was tightly connected to all of the workings of the city. It was common for him to go along on police raids, accompany fire departments when the alarm sounded, and sit as the magistrate in the courtroom. These stories have been well documented. As legend has it, one cold day he was presiding over police-court when a tattered elderly man was brought before him. He was charged with stealing bread. La Guardia stated, “I have to punish you. The law makes no exception. I sentence you to a fine of 10 dollars.”

Then the mayor pulled out 10 dollars and paid the man’s penalty. He then proceeded to fine everyone in the courtroom 50 cents for living in a city where a man needed to steal bread to eat. The fines were collected and given to the man. The judgment was a blend of justice and mercy. It was also a great life lesson of human decency. As parents, we are confronted daily with being a judge and jury over our kids. They fight, willfully disobey and can be disrespectful. How do we use these moments to mold and shape them? Becoming wise when dealing with these situations is critical. When resolving conflict with your children, here are 4 ways to be a wise father.

1. Give Them a Fair HEARing

Ask a lot of open-ended questions. Give them a chance to tell their story. Let them reveal things and see if you can find discrepancies. Asking the right question may even cause them to convict themselves. If you are mediating a sibling fight, give each of them a chance to tell their version. Do not let the opposing party interrupt. Remind them they had their chance or will get their chance next.

2. Point Them Towards Thinking of Others

Human beings care most about themselves. The word “mine” is one of the first words of almost any child. Direct your attention at this basic fault at the core of humanity—selfishness. Move the approach from behavior modification to heart transformation. Raise up in them an appreciation for the dignity of others, considering others first before themselves. Better decisions are sure to follow, not because they are programmed to follow the rules, but because it will be the natural outworking of a selfless core.

3. Don’t Judge Based on the Past

The past will affect how you treat current situations. Guilt or innocence must be determined by the evidence at hand, not past wrongs. However, elevating punishment based on past behavior may be appropriate when guilt is determined. Recognize consistencies and use them to scrutinize what is happening below the surface.

4. Stay Focused When You Are Tired

When it is late in the day and fatigue has set in, you need to fight the temptation of giving snap judgments. It’s easy for me just to snap at my kids and yell, “Stop it!” Doing so misses a teaching opportunity. Yelling at your kids may get them to stop, but it doesn’t teach them anything valuable. Take a breath and focus. The issue at hand is the most important thing to your child at that moment. Your decision will have an impact on their lives.

What other things make a parent a good judge and jury? {eoa}

BJ Foster is the Director of Content Creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two.

This article originally appeared at allprodad.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Read Time: 3 Minutes 37 Seconds Most made-for-TV Christmas movies are like eggnog and sugar cookies—way too sweet, yet extremely addictive for a lot of viewers. But these Hallmark-style movies—the ones with predictable love stories that always end with jingling bells...

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Read Time: 1 Minute 51 Seconds At a recent gathering where a member was struggling, I heard and declared by the Spirit of the Lord, “Goodness is following you, TURN and see; embrace His goodness in this moment and watch the shift!” There was an immediate shift and...

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Read Time: 2 Minutes 25 Seconds If you search the phrase, “where does life come from?” the first explanation reads: “The origin of life is a result of a supernatural event—and readily arises from nonliving matter in short periods of time, today as in the past.” The...

Raise Your Praise!

Raise Your Praise!

These are the days that may leave you feeling defeated. You may be wondering when these present trials will end or how can you strengthen your faith for the battle as you wrestle against powers and principalities that come against you, in addition to the challenges...

7 Elements Needed for Revival That Will Usher in Reformation

7 Elements Needed for Revival That Will Usher in Reformation

Read Time: 1 Minute 9 Seconds What will turn the nations around? What will restore the world to sanity? There have been revivals from Old Testament times up through the year 2000. Today we need both a revival and a reformation. Here are 7 elements needed to usher in...

Messianic Rabbi: The Blessing of Esau Brings Freedom

Messianic Rabbi: The Blessing of Esau Brings Freedom

Read Time: 4 Minutes 55 Seconds Growing up in synagogue, I was taught about the heroes of the Bible: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, David, Solomon and Samson. When I became a believer in Yeshua, the writings of the New Testament new heroes were added to the...

RECENT ARTICLES

Mario Murillo: An Era of Mass Soul Winning Has Begun

Read Time: 4 Minutes, 27 Seconds From the very first tent stake we drove into California soil, until now, there has only been one dream. And, after two years, that dream came true in Roseville....
God’s Strategy for His End-Times Church

God’s Strategy for His End-Times Church

Read Time: 2 Minutes 23 Seconds In this webinar, Grant Berry discussed the strategy the Lord is releasing for His end-time plans to reform His Ekklesia/church. God is revealing different focuses of this strategy to various parts of the body, especially as it relates...

How You Can Flow in the River of Living Water

How You Can Flow in the River of Living Water

Read Time: 5 Minutes, 2 Seconds A river is a source of life. As it is in the natural, so it is in the spiritual. Jesus told His disciples that if we believe in Him, "rivers of living water" will flow out from within us, from our hearts. "Anyone who believes in me may...

Cindy Jacobs Prophesies: Trust That He is There

Cindy Jacobs Prophesies: Trust That He is There

Read Time: 2 Minutes 42 Seconds It’s very interesting how the Holy Spirit will use things that you’re going through to not only prophesy to you, but also to prophesy over the body of Christ. In listening to other people and hearing what’s been coming out of their...

Have We Departed From the  Simplicity of Christ?

Have We Departed From the Simplicity of Christ?

Recently I heard a pastor say the following: "When I was pastoring and saw little fruit, I began to call those with potential to reach others for Christ to our home and to mentor them one on one. That's where massive growth happened in the people." Local pastors and...

Pin It on Pinterest