10 Ways to Improve Marriage Communication

by | Apr 24, 2013 | Man

Ironically, as our information age becomes a global reality, married couples increasingly report breakdowns in simple communication.

“He doesn’t listen.” “I don’t know her any more.” “We never talk.” “He spends all his free time on the computer.” “I wish he’d look at me like that.” “She talks to her friends but never with me.” These are common complaints.

For true communication to occur, the same message that left the mind of Person A must still be intact when it is understood in the consciousness of Person B.

There’s no doubt about it: We simply must improve communication within our marriages. Here are 10 tips to get started.

1. Model respectful listening. Top of the list? Take responsibility. Don’t wait for your spouse to make the first move—step up and listen already. Good listeners tend to get listened to in return.

2. Choose to be genuinely interested in what your spouse has to say. Yes, it’s a choice. You say you love her? Then don’t tune her out when the conversation is not about sports. Make the effort to attend that PTA event together—you might have something to talk about. Read that Jane Austen book she loves so much; watch her favorite HGTV decorating program together; walk hand-in-hand around the art show; show some interest in her friends. Make the choice to be interested.

3. Write your spouse a note that reinforces your message.

  • “I’m looking forward to our date on Friday!”
  • “Here are some things I want us to talk to Junior’s teacher about—what do you think?”
  • “Thanks for bringing me lunch yesterday; I love you so much!”
  • “I enjoyed shooting the breeze with you. Let’s meet for coffee and chat some more.”

4. Schedule regular, media-free family mealtimes. This applies to both marital communication and the family dynamic. Meals can be communication opportunities par excellence! They’re informal family meetings, clearing houses for information and workshops where parents both teach manners and model as examples. Plus, mealtimes are an awesome ongoing opportunity—with or without children—to keep communication flowing.

5. Keep the television turned off … unless there’s a specific show you have agreed to watch together. TV as constant background noise is: 

  • An invitation to tune out relationships.
  • A strong message about what is important (and unimportant) in a home.
  • A distraction that will always suck attention away from one another.
  • An excuse to avoid communication.

6. Make eye contact when you’re talking. Also make good use of use touch, responsive and reflective feedback, and body language (smiles, gestures, head tilts, raised eyebrows, nods, etc.) to demonstrate that communication is actually occurring.

7. Do not answer your phone, text, or multitask on any level while interacting with your spouse.Doing any of the above sends a clear message of priorities.

8. Avoid surface-level or single-word responses. When talking with your spouse, it’s too easy to brush off real communication, squash first-order interaction and signal your spouse you are not really interested.

9. Designate a central location for all important notices, dates, reminders, messages, etc. Maybe a large calendar on the refrigerator, a bulletin board in the kitchen or a whiteboard by the front door.

10. Include your spouse as a “friend” on all your social media lists. No one should get more of your time than your spouse. Include one another as primary contacts, keep one another “in the loop,” send one another messages every day and act as if you are each other’s best friend. Chances are, you will be.

All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


This Coach Can Help You Destroy Your Addiction to Pornography

This Coach Can Help You Destroy Your Addiction to Pornography

Let’s talk about a subject most people want to avoid. Let’s talk about pornography. According to Covenant Eyes, statistics show that 28,258 users are watching pornography every second, and 20% of mobile online searches are for porn. Among Christians, 20% of youth...

The Real Truth About the Marriage of Politics and Faith

The Real Truth About the Marriage of Politics and Faith

As I look back, I realize that God has given me a career path with some rather unique experiences. I have built bridges at the intersection of faith and government my whole life, and I have learned that serving people through a role in government can be just as...

Joyce Meyer: Winning the Battle Against Satan in Your Mind

Joyce Meyer: Winning the Battle Against Satan in Your Mind

If you have received Christ as your Savior, then you have an enemy. Did you know that? I know some people feel uncomfortable talking about the devil, but he is real and it’s important for us to face the truth about him so we can have a victorious life in Christ. Now,...

It’s Time to Rebuild Love and Unity in the Church—Part 2

It’s Time to Rebuild Love and Unity in the Church—Part 2

Note: As we move towards Yom Kippur/Day of Atonement, Grant Berry, a Messianic believer, speaks about the deeper repentance needed in the Messianic part of the family. As you have read part one of this article during the month of Av and are now reading part two in the...

Will Many of the Elect Really Be Deceived by the Antichrist?

Will Many of the Elect Really Be Deceived by the Antichrist?

The most sobering and troubling statement in the Olivet Discourse is where Jesus says, “For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect” (Matt. 24:24). This statement cries out for an...


Prophetic Lessons in the Hurricane-Force Storms of Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qe34pxhddd4 With Hurricane Ian slamming Florida, it's a time to reflect on the storms of life. As I was preparing for the hurricane, I documented some thoughts about...
Why God Cares About Your Physical Health

Why God Cares About Your Physical Health

God doesn’t care if I am fat. He wants me to enjoy my life. He wants me to live, love and be happy. Food makes me happy so I’m just doing what He wants me to do. That was just an excuse and at its core it is untrue. God really doesn’t care about our outward...

An Unborn Baby’s Heart Is Beating—Stop Denying It

An Unborn Baby’s Heart Is Beating—Stop Denying It

Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams turned heads last week in Atlanta when she defiantly announced during a political event that an unborn baby doesn’t have a heartbeat at six weeks gestation. “There is no such thing as a heartbeat at six weeks,” said...

Prophecy: We Are in a Season of Blessings

Prophecy: We Are in a Season of Blessings

We are kingdom citizens, and not of this world. We don’t abide by this world’s economy and the natural things that happen. Repeatedly, over the last four weeks, I’ve been hearing not to look at the circumstances of this world. We are not of this world. Get your eyes...

Pin It on Pinterest