Disney World touts itself as “the most magical place on earth,” but the multifaceted theme park proved just the opposite for newlyweds Rob and Gina Flood. Five days into their honeymoon, the couple had what Rob now calls “the worst fight we’ve ever had” in their now nearly 25-year marriage.
“And from there, it went downhill,” Rob, author of With These Words: Five Communication Tools for Marriage and for Life (New Growth Press) tells host Marti Pieper on the Hope for Your Marriage series on the Charisma News podcast. “We drifted into isolation. We weren’t talking to one another for days on end. And we eventually ended up in marriage counseling, but that didn’t help. The counselor, I think, had his eye on the wrong problem. … And so it wasn’t until 15 months after we were married that we started to put our lives and our marriage back together.”
But despite his long marriage, six children and years of experience with both Family Life and as a church pastor/counselor, Rob still doesn’t consider himself a marriage expert.
“There are skills we’ve learned that we are much better at now than we were 25 years ago. There’s no doubt about that,” he says. “And I think in the area of communication, our marriage is stronger at this point compared to 25 years ago. But as soon as we feel like we’ve got this thing mastered, the Lord has our 11-year-old turn 12 or our 16-year-old turn 17, or we have to move to a different location. And now the challenges are all different. And you realize that we never outgrow or expert our way out of utter dependence on the Spirit of God.
“And once I embraced that, and once my wife Gina embraced that, that we are dependent upon God for wisdom and careful communication, it stopped us from feeling like we should have this thing figured out by now. We’re just looking today to obey the move of the Spirit and the will of God. And tomorrow, we’ll be just as dependent on Him as we are today.”
For more tips from Rob Flood on healthy marital communication, listen to the entire podcast here.