How to Love People When They Disappoint You

by | May 7, 2018 | Family & Relationships

Have you ever made a mistake so bad that it felt like the end of the world? When I was a young teenager I made a mistake. This wasn’t your average stupid teenage mistake, rather it was colossal in my mind. I braced myself for the repercussions and onslaught of punishment that I believed would naturally follow messing up to the extent I did. I’ll tell you more about that in the video below, but do you know the feeling?

It’s in those moments that we can hope to be met by mercy, but often times we’re confronted with anger, shame and even blame. So let’s take a look at the other side of the coin—how do you treat mistakes when you’re not the one who made them, but rather the one who felt the pain and impact of them? There’s so much power in the way you respond to someone in their mess. My grandfather taught me this back when I was a teenager, but it wasn’t until recent years that I truly understood how big his love was for me in that moment. Check out this week’s Flashback Friday video for the full story. He was a great guy.

In a nutshell:

  • I had seven cousins who were all girls, and their parents would make them come down to my grandfather’s house for the holidays.
  • One year, when I was 15, my grandpa gave me the keys to his truck and said to take the girls for a ride through the orchard.
  • We went down the dirt road as fast as we could go and everything was shaking and I stopped just in time before we got to a cliff. I had my cousin hop out and direct me as I backed the truck up, and as I reversed a tree grabbed the door and ripped it off so that it was hanging on by one bolt. The girls all teased that grandpa was going to kill me.
  • When we got back to the house, my uncles came out of the house and freaked out on me. My grandpa slowly followed behind them and slyly winked at me, which I knew meant, “I’ve got this. Don’t talk.”
  • He said, “Oh, you know what I’ve been meaning to take the doors off that truck for two years. It doesn’t need doors; it’s a work truck. Go get the tools and take both doors off.”
  • I learned that you need to create a place where people can fail successfully.
  • My grandson ripped my garage door off a few years ago. I started to say something and Kathy said, “What would your grandfather do?”
  • It was in that moment that I had a revelation of how much my grandfather loved me.
  • I know this is not easy to practice but there’s something about loving people more than we love our stuff.
  • What would happen if we took hold of people and we made room for them to do stupid things?
  • One member of our team did something really dumb years ago, and I called Bill Johnson to tell him it would be in the papers the next day. He said, “Do not throw him under the bus to save your butt. It’s our mistake, so take the blame.”

Nobody’s Perfect

The truth is that life is messy and none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, and we will all be around people who make mistakes that affect us. But what would happen in the world if we made room for people to make mistakes, let them learn how to fail, and helped them get back up? As leaders it’s so important to cover our teams in their humanity and help them learn from their faults and blunders. So the next time someone comes to you with their failure, I want to encourage you to remember your own imperfection and meet them where they’re at with love and mercy.

Today I want to challenge you with this question: the last time someone in your life messed up in a way that hurt you, did you treat them with the same grace that you hoped to be treated with when you make a mistake? Is this something that’s easy for you to do? I’d love to hear from you in the comments! {eoa}

Kris Vallotton is the senior associate leader of Bethel Church in Redding, California, and cofounder of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM). Kris travels internationally, training and equipping people to successfully fulfill their divine purpose. He’s a best-selling author, having written more than a dozen books and training manuals to help prepare believers for life in the kingdom. He has a diverse background in business, counseling, consulting, pastoring and teaching, which gives him unique leadership insights and perspectives. Kris has a passion to use his experience and his prophetic gift to assist world leaders in achieving their goals and accomplishing their mission.

This article originally appeared at krisvallotton.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Shining the Light of Jesus in Hollywood’s Darkness

Read Time: 3 Minutes 37 Seconds Most made-for-TV Christmas movies are like eggnog and sugar cookies—way too sweet, yet extremely addictive for a lot of viewers. But these Hallmark-style movies—the ones with predictable love stories that always end with jingling bells...

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Prophecy: Goodness Is Following You, Turn and See

Read Time: 1 Minute 51 Seconds At a recent gathering where a member was struggling, I heard and declared by the Spirit of the Lord, “Goodness is following you, TURN and see; embrace His goodness in this moment and watch the shift!” There was an immediate shift and...

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: You Came From God

Read Time: 2 Minutes 25 Seconds If you search the phrase, “where does life come from?” the first explanation reads: “The origin of life is a result of a supernatural event—and readily arises from nonliving matter in short periods of time, today as in the past.” The...

Raise Your Praise!

Raise Your Praise!

These are the days that may leave you feeling defeated. You may be wondering when these present trials will end or how can you strengthen your faith for the battle as you wrestle against powers and principalities that come against you, in addition to the challenges...

7 Elements Needed for Revival That Will Usher in Reformation

7 Elements Needed for Revival That Will Usher in Reformation

Read Time: 1 Minute 9 Seconds What will turn the nations around? What will restore the world to sanity? There have been revivals from Old Testament times up through the year 2000. Today we need both a revival and a reformation. Here are 7 elements needed to usher in...

RECENT ARTICLES

Messianic Rabbi: The Blessing of Esau Brings Freedom

Read Time: 4 Minutes 55 Seconds Growing up in synagogue, I was taught about the heroes of the Bible: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, David, Solomon and Samson. When I became a believer in...
Mario Murillo: An Era of Mass Soul Winning Has Begun

Mario Murillo: An Era of Mass Soul Winning Has Begun

Read Time: 4 Minutes, 27 Seconds From the very first tent stake we drove into California soil, until now, there has only been one dream. And, after two years, that dream came true in Roseville. Roseville is the victory we have yearned for. It confirms that an era of...

God’s Strategy for His End-Times Church

God’s Strategy for His End-Times Church

Read Time: 2 Minutes 23 Seconds In this webinar, Grant Berry discussed the strategy the Lord is releasing for His end-time plans to reform His Ekklesia/church. God is revealing different focuses of this strategy to various parts of the body, especially as it relates...

How You Can Flow in the River of Living Water

How You Can Flow in the River of Living Water

Read Time: 5 Minutes, 2 Seconds A river is a source of life. As it is in the natural, so it is in the spiritual. Jesus told His disciples that if we believe in Him, "rivers of living water" will flow out from within us, from our hearts. "Anyone who believes in me may...

Cindy Jacobs Prophesies: Trust That He is There

Cindy Jacobs Prophesies: Trust That He is There

Read Time: 2 Minutes 42 Seconds It’s very interesting how the Holy Spirit will use things that you’re going through to not only prophesy to you, but also to prophesy over the body of Christ. In listening to other people and hearing what’s been coming out of their...

Have We Departed From the  Simplicity of Christ?

Have We Departed From the Simplicity of Christ?

Recently I heard a pastor say the following: "When I was pastoring and saw little fruit, I began to call those with potential to reach others for Christ to our home and to mentor them one on one. That's where massive growth happened in the people." Local pastors and...

Pin It on Pinterest