7 Warning Signs of a Controlling Pastor

by | May 16, 2019 | Church & Ministry

I regularly talk to young leaders through my blog, and many of them feel they are working for a controlling leader.

In a previous post, I talked about “3 Results of Controlling Leadership.” It is a prevalent enough issue in leadership that I decided to cover it in my book, The Mythical Leader.

In full disclosure, one of my top strengths on the StrengthsFinder assessment is “command.” I’ll take over if no one else in the room will—so some of the young leaders on my team may have felt that way about me at times. I have to discipline myself not to be a controlling leader.

But it’s a personal value for me not to be one, so I consistently try to evaluate my leadership. (And I’ve often let teams I lead evaluate me.) And, also granted, as I’ve posted previously, I believe there are some things a leader needs to control—especially early in a leadership position. For example, I controlled (or micromanaged) the hiring of key staff members during my beginning years of church revitalization. We were changing a culture. I was building a team—one I didn’t have to control.

The odd thing I find is that many controlling leaders never really know they are one. They may actually even believe they are being good leaders— simply making sure things go well for the organization.

As I’ve pointed out in previous posts about this issue, controlling leaders are ever-present in the church.

So, maybe if you’re reading this, you are still wondering if you might be a controlling leader. Or if you work for one.

7 Warning Signs You May Be a Controlling Leader

Your team struggles to share new ideas. Are people sheepish around you when they have an idea that may be different from yours? Do they start apologizing prior to approaching you with a new idea? Do they appear timid, fearful, even reluctant to share a thought?

This may be on them; it might be on you as a leader.

You think you’re wonderful. I don’t mean this to be funny. When a leader is in the control position, because of their own confidence, they can often feel everyone approves of all they are doing.

A controlling leader may not really know how people feel about them. They assume everyone approve of their leadership.

You always know you’re right. Because you are, right?

If you never question your own judgment or if you never even think you need to get other’s opinions on your ideas, you might be a controlling leader.

You control information. Do you enjoy keeping others from having less information than you have? Do you like to be in the power position when information is power? (And it always is.)

If you control the information, you’ll almost always control what is done with the information. And you just might be a controlling leader.

You are part of every decision. Do you think you should be involved in making all the decisions your church or organization makes? Seriously. Be honest. A controlling leader can’t stand when they weren’t part of making the decision—especially if it proves to be a good one—or if people start getting credit for something in which they had no part.

If you still can’t decide if you’re a controlling leader, use this as a scenario and judge for yourself how you would feel: The decision is made. It’s genius. Everyone applauds. You’re on the sidelines. How do you feel now?

You can’t let go of the reins. Do you fear others being in control of a project? Does it make you nervous? Do you feel the need to continually step back in and check on things?

I’m not suggesting a leader delegates and disappears. That’s not good leadership either. But if you can never let someone truly be the primary leader of a task—if you aren’t sometimes the one following—you might be a controlling leader.

You are the final authority—on every decision. Think for just a minute about the decisions made in the organization in the last year, or even the last month. Did you have to sign off on all of them? Were there any significant decisions made that you weren’t a part of making?

Again, be honest.

Have you ever worked for a controlling leader? Are you one? How would your team answer these questions about you? {eoa}

Ron Edmondson is the CEO of Leadership Network. Previously, he was a pastor, revitalizing two churches and planting two churches. He loves assisting pastors and those in ministry in thinking through leadership, strategy and life.

This article originally appeared at ronedmondson.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Charisma Highlights: Is Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer in Heaven?

Charisma Highlights: Is Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer in Heaven?

Following are snippets of the top stories posted on charismamag.com over the past week. We encourage you to visit the links to read the stories in full. Is Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer in Heaven? Is it possible that behind the pearly gates of heaven there are...

10 Ways to Practice Gratitude With Your family This Thanksgiving

10 Ways to Practice Gratitude With Your family This Thanksgiving

This month we are entering a season which, in the United States, has been devoted to gratitude and thanksgiving for 400 years! While the Thanksgiving holiday has had a long and varied history within the United States, the practice of devoting sacrificial offerings,...

Don’t Let Ungratefulness Turn You Into a Spoiled American

Don’t Let Ungratefulness Turn You Into a Spoiled American

My frequent trips to developing nations always help me adjust my attitude. Just when I start to feel spoiled and entitled, I meet people from places like Congo, India and Honduras—and I realize just how blessed I am. This happened to me again last week during a trip...

The Power of Being Thankful

The Power of Being Thankful

One of the best ways to show God we love Him is to be thankful. When we express our deep gratitude to Him, it actually invites His presence onto our lives. Being thankful also neutralizes the enemy and brings victory into our situations no matter what the outcome....

Get Off Your Pew!

Get Off Your Pew!

As God’s clock inches closer to the final hour before His return, many people find themselves filled with angst, anxiety and despair. People are not sleeping well, many have fallen into depression and are feeling hopeless. These are the very days that we have been...

The Great Commission Can Set Us Free from Responsibility

The Great Commission Can Set Us Free from Responsibility

Read Time: 4 Minutes 28 Seconds While all of the stories we read in the Torah are meaningful, sometimes the events we read about can seem to hold more relevance, especially for those of us who are followers of Yeshua (Jesus) as Messiah. One such event is the calling...

RECENT ARTICLES

The Church’s Role in Preserving Freedom of Speech in America

Read Time: 3 Minutes 17 Seconds The controversy surrounding Kyrie Irving and his post of a tweet that claims the Jews in Israel are not the real Jews—that Black Africans are the real Jews—raises...
Count Your Blessings, For God Indeed is Good

Count Your Blessings, For God Indeed is Good

Read Time: 4 Minutes 42 Seconds Thanksgiving Day is just a few days away for U.S. Americans. It is a favorite holiday—perhaps only exceeded by Christmas—to gather with family and friends to watch parades, play (American) “football” and eat delicious food—often from...

Is Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer in Heaven?

Is Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer in Heaven?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFbfS03JkKY&t=1s Read Time: 3 Minutes, 10 Seconds Is it possible that behind the pearly gates of heaven there are murderers, pedophiles and cannibals walking along the streets of gold? We are taught in the book of Romans, "That if...

Pin It on Pinterest