“I saw every deliverance expert that I could get my hands on who came to town. I followed the Clover Creek/New Song stuff, reading all their materials online, listening to every sermon. I was reading The Bondage Breaker, And They Shall Expel Demons and like every deliverance book I could get my hands on.”
As a (then) 21 year old pastor’s kid, John Hammer understood his battle with porn and that the accompanying shame and condemnation was a spiritual reality. Raised in a dynamic church in the heart of the renewal movement, Hammer had no lack for resources or relationships with anointed ministries. Still, the freedom he knew to be his in Christ was fleeting.
He shared on a recent episode of Jesus Movement Now on the Charisma Podcast Network, “I kept going, ‘it’s gotta be a curse; there’s gotta be something else—some reason I’m still warring.’ I just kept digging and digging and digging. I’d confess every sin. I’d write every sin on paper that I’ve ever committed [including] the name of every person I ever lusted after and I’d go burn it in the backyard.”
It wasn’t long before Hammer reached a breaking point. He was tired of struggling under the oppressive noise of shame and condemnation; he nearly ended his ministry before it even began.
“I come home, and I’m like ‘I’m done! I’m gonna quit Bible school. I can’t—I’m not going to make it. I can’t take this anymore!'” he recalls.
It was there, in his poverty of spirit, that the kingdom of God broke in. It came through a most powerful yet subtle voice—the voice of his father.
“And my dad just debates me,” Hammer says.
Hammer’s dad then asked him a pointed question—a question that would change the course of his life and destiny.
Hammer recalls his response to his dad’s question, “It exposed the lie that I was believing. That was the turning point of coming out of all the noise of my shame and guilt. That sent me into a place of freedom and confidence in the Lord. It was a huge turning point at really understanding my identity in Christ.”
Today Hammer serves as lead pastor of Sonrise Christian Center in Everett, Washington, and he has helped many out of addiction, shame and condemnation through his book, eXXXit.
Tune into eXXXit (Ep. 28) of Jesus Movement Now to hear the question Hammer’s dad asked him and learn how answering that question for yourself can lead to freedom and overwhelming victory in Christ. {eoa}
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