Mom, God Is Using These 2 Refining Tools to Change You

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These steps will help you walk close with God as a mom.

Are there things about being a mom that you’d like to change? Do you lose your temper? Do you struggle with putting down your phone and just focusing on your kids? Do you wish you can be more joyful, even in the small things?

The bad news is that as moms, we often feel guilty when we try and try to change but it doesn’t happen quickly or easily. The good news is this isn’t a battle we have to fight alone. God wants to be there to help, guide and strengthen us.

1. Change starts with revelation. You know the feeling. You’re cruising through life and then something that didn’t bother you much before suddenly becomes a heavy burden to your soul. We know we need change in our lives is because God lets us know. He reveals our need through circumstances, and then He (thankfully) reveals the answer in His Word. Whenever we turn to God’s Word, the answer will be centered around God.

If the problem you struggle with is anger, you can turn to God’s Word and receive this advice, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1). God’s Word confirms the problem, but it also gives the answer: Respond gently. In an angry world, this is the opposite of what we usually see. God not only shows us how we need to change, but He gives us a way to make that happen. Believe it or not, His Word is practical, and we can find advice for all the changes we need to make in our lives.


2. Change comes when we trust God. Once we know what to do we must decide to follow it. Do we trust that God’s way is the right way? It’s one thing to actually believe it’s the right way. It’s another thing to do what God’s Word says. God waits for us to decide that His decision is the right answer. We have to trust that real change is possible, but it most often happens with baby steps.

Change involves trusting God, knowing that He wants to help us. It’s believing Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, a well-proven help in trouble.” Trusting God means turning to Him in your time of need, even if it’s just sending up a quick prayer like this: “Lord, I feel myself getting angry. Help, strengthen me and give me a soft answer.” Those quick prayers help with whatever changes you desire to make.

3. Change comes when we submit our way to God’s way. When it comes to making changes in our lives, we must be willing to invite God in to work in our hearts. Some changes will be easier. Others will be harder. We need to turn over everything to Him, even our shame when we mess up yet again. We must accept His grace—and His help. Humility is saying, “I don’t have the answer—or the strength—but God does, and I need Him to help me change.”

4. Change comes when we depend on God. We have to depend that God is able to work in us and through us. We’ve tried depending on ourselves and our willpower, and it hasn’t gotten us very far. Our own strength is limited! Thankfully, God provides unending strength.


When I depend on God, I turn to Him in prayer. When I depend in God, I ask for His help. When I depend on God, I wait for His help to come.

None of us will change overnight, but change can happen. As we turn to God and depend on Him day by day, the big struggles in our life become small ones, and soon, we’ll look back and realize that those former struggles don’t have the power they used to. And when change comes, we’ll be quick to turn to God for the other changes that need to be made in our lives.

How about you? In what area do you need the most help and the most change? How can we pray for you? {eoa}

Tricia Goyer has written more than 35 books, including both novels that delight and entertain readers and nonfiction titles that offer encouragement and hope. She has also published more than 500 articles in national publications such as Guideposts, Thriving Family, Proverbs 31 and HomeLife Magazine.


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