You Can’t Defeat Generational Bitterness Without This Spiritual Weapon

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Are you hanging on to some form of bitterness and resentment?

If you’re still holding on to resentment, then someone is controlling you.

Have you ever said, “You make me so mad”? What you’re admitting at that point is, “You are controlling me.” The only way you get this person out of your mind and heart is to heal it with grace—God’s grace.

Hebrews 12:15 says, ” … watching diligently so that no one falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness spring up to cause trouble, and many become defiled by it (MEV).

Have you ever known a family where a bitter mom or dad poisoned the whole family? Bitterness is contagious, and it can actually become generational. Somebody has to break the chain, and it better be you. If your parents are bitter because their parents were bitter because their parents were bitter, you’re going to have to break the chain. And there’s only one way to break it: Heal it with grace.


Friends, if you don’t get God’s grace in your life, bitterness will set in. Life isn’t fair. Why? It’s because sin is in the world. We live on a broken planet. This is not heaven. Evil people get away with evil things all the time.

And if you don’t get grace in your heart, it’s going to make you bitter.

Is forgiveness fair? Absolutely not.

But it is not about fairness. It is not about justice. It’s about grace. You don’t forgive a person because it’s the fair thing to do. You forgive a person because it’s the right thing to do, and you don’t want your heart full of poison. You don’t want your heart holding on to the hurt and the hate.


Forgiveness is free, but it is not cheap. It cost Jesus His life. It cost God His Son. And as Jesus was dying on the cross, with His arms outstretched and the blood dripping down, He said, “Father, forgive them! They don’t know what they’re doing.”

He was saying, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” He was saying, “They don’t deserve it. They don’t even know what they’re doing. But Father, forgive them.”

Leave justice to God. Heal your bitterness with his grace.

Talk It Over


  • Have you experienced bitterness toward someone? What has been the result in your life?
  • Why do you think it’s so important to us that everything is fair?
  • Who can you show grace to today, especially in situations that don’t seem fair? {eoa}

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church and author of The Purpose Driven LifeHis book, The Purpose Driven Church, was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. He is also founder of pastors.com, a global Internet community for pastors.

For the original article, visit rickwarren.org.

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