One Thing Your Kids Want to See in Your Marriage

by | Feb 18, 2020 | Parenting

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).

Parents have a significant influence on the lives of their children. Children are watching their parents, seeking to learn the ways of life. Our actions and words will mold our young children into the people they will become.

Think for a minute what kind of adults you want your children to be. Will they love Jesus and have a personal relationship with Him? Will they have a peaceful home with a loving environment? Will they respect and love their spouse as their spouse reciprocates the same?

These questions can often be answered by taking a look at our lives. How is our relationship with Christ? How is our home atmosphere? How is our marriage? Our children are watching and their future is in the balance.

I want to talk to you about the importance of dating in your marriage. Specifically, how this dating will affect your children.

Many Christian marriages fall into function-ship where the members of the marriage contract fulfill their duty and perform their tasks. However, they have failed to come up with a consistent plan to date each other. If dating is consistent, you send a very strong message of value of marriage.

Our children will duplicate what we do, not just what we say. I don’t want my son, Jubal, to not celebrate and date his wife all the days of his life. Neither do I want my daughter to marry a man who is going to bore her to death and not celebrate her through dating.

If I don’t want my children to end up in marriage counseling as another unfortunate case, I must demonstrate consistently how important dating is. I remember a time when my daughter was 3 years old and Lisa and I were on our way out for our date as she exclaimed, “Daddy, I want to go with you” and gave one of these desperate little faces only a daughter can have.

I bent down to look her in the eye and said something to the effect that, “Mommy has been such a good girl and Daddy loves Mommy with his whole heart, so I need to take her out tonight.” Hadassah’s big brown eyes lit up and she smiled big and happily walked up the stairs to be with Britney, our first baby-sitter.

I don’t know exactly what Hadassah was thinking, but she never asked again to go out on our date night. If you’re starting to date later in a child’s development, you may face resistance upfront because this is unfamiliar to them. Weather the storm and they will normalize. My daughter and son know that this is a regular, normal part of marriage. I want them to duplicate this and have quality time with their spouse. I even hope I get the grandchildren on a weekly basis to encourage this. Remember that it’s not what you believe about marriage that your children will repeat—it’s what you do in your marriage

I personally feel that our children desperately need a break from us as much as we need a break from them. They need a different personality to challenge and play with. They need that time to eat pizza, popcorn and do what they want without feeling that their parents are hovering over them.

Our children Hadassah and Jubal loved their baby-sitters. When we would tell them she is coming over they would get so excited. They will ask us all day what time it is and how long until she comes. This is a special time for them and they enjoy having a time with her. And this was OK by us, because we were excited to have some time to spend together without the children.

Take time to date your spouse. Do not allow your responsibility as parents to keep you from fulfilling your duty to love and cherish your spouse. After all, your children are watching to see how their parents love each other. This is their primary example of love.

If you want your children to seek and find a spouse who celebrates them, loves them and makes them feel special, you must model this for them. Take the initiative to place a high priority on dating your spouse and you will reap many benefits from this. {eoa}

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books, including Intimacy. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com; on hisFacebook; by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Discerning False Prophets and Delusions with Mario Murillo

Discerning False Prophets and Delusions with Mario Murillo

My longtime friend Mario Murillo is providing a critical role in the body of Christ in speaking up against the wolves in sheep clothing. Matthew Henry said, "A traitor inside the camp is more dangerous than 1,000 persecutors outside the camp." Christians want to be...

Do You Need A Miracle? It’s In Your Mouth!

Do You Need A Miracle? It’s In Your Mouth!

So many people are in need of a miracle these days. So many people are experiencing lack, illness and despair. So many of these people are Christian people that are bewildered as to why they are experiencing such hardship. The Christian life is not an easy one, but it...

Is America Destined to Become Like Sodom and Gomorrah?

Is America Destined to Become Like Sodom and Gomorrah?

Sodom and Gomorrah were real cities and real people lived there. These were notoriously sinful cities that God warned but eventually destroyed because of their wickedness (Gen. 19:24). These cities, infamous for their debauchery and homosexuality, are mentioned 23...

How to Get Rid of Guilt Forever

How to Get Rid of Guilt Forever

Are you bugged by a guilty conscience … carrying around baggage from a certain mistake or decision that produces feelings of regret or even self-loathing? We’ve all said or done things that we wish we could take back. And while it’s completely natural to grieve over a...

4 Tips to Fix Your Christian Marriage Problems

4 Tips to Fix Your Christian Marriage Problems

Christian married couples, like everyone else in the world, can have their ups and downs. The pressures at work, home and family can mount a pile so high you barely see your spouse on the other side. God created marriage and He longs for you to have a healthy,...

RECENT ARTICLES

Prophecy: The Isaiah 60 Church Will Arise

I saw a movie several years ago about an Amish community. In the movie, when someone needed help (whether it was a crisis, a barn raising or help in harvesting their fields) they would ring a large...
Did Mr. Rogers Warn Against Transgenderism?

Did Mr. Rogers Warn Against Transgenderism?

While he may not have realized it at the time, Fred Rogers, otherwise known as "Mr. Rogers" on the children's television program "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood," may have been anti-trans and also prophetic about the culture in America more than 40 years ago. A devoted...

Evangelist John Ramirez Exposing Satanism Infecting America

Evangelist John Ramirez Exposing Satanism Infecting America

Spiritual warfare is raging across America, yet few are talking about it or the ramifications that come with it. The Bible warns Christians of the enemy's plans, but the deception of the devil has relegated many to the sidelines instead of the frontlines where they...

14 Fervent Prayers for Gen Z

14 Fervent Prayers for Gen Z

Generation Z—those born between 1997 and 2012—is rising. They are entering the workforce, entering politics and entering the ministry. But spiritually speaking, this generation is in crisis. Forty-six percent of Gen Z say they’ve committed their lives to Jesus, which...

The Fresh and Mighty Wind of God’s Spirit Is Now Blowing

The Fresh and Mighty Wind of God’s Spirit Is Now Blowing

There is a fresh wind blowing. It is the fresh wind of His Spirit. It is not only a wind that will bring refreshment, healing, empowerment and strength, but it is a wind that will bring deep rest, deep clarity and a deep stirring of what He is breathing upon! I had a...

Yes, Jesus Did Address Sexual Sin

Yes, Jesus Did Address Sexual Sin

Yes, Chris Bryant, Jesus really did address the subject of homosexuality, no matter how much you might want to twist the issue. After the Church of England recently set down an edict that forbid same-sex couples to marry but that each individual would receive "God's...

Pin It on Pinterest