8 Laws of Relationships That Jesus Used

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When Jesus had said this, He was troubled in spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom He spoke. Now there was leaning against Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples whom Jesus loved. Therefore Simon Peter motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke. Leaning back against Jesus’ bosom, he said to Him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it.” When He had dipped the bread, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. After receiving the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, “What you are going to do, do quickly” (John 13:21-27).

The following are eight laws of relationships observed in the life of Jesus.

The Law of Hospitality

Many people experience hospitality with you, but not all are your friends. Jesus was friendly to all people, but He was friends with only a few people.

The Law of Capacity


In the Bible, we read of all the people Jesus met with, prayed for, taught and healed. But there is an even longer list of all the people that Jesus did not meet with, pray over, teach or heal. Jesus had capacity limits due to His humanity. You too are finite and cannot give to everyone who would like to receive something from you.

The Law of Priority

For Jesus, His inner circle of three disciples plus a few friends and perhaps His family got the majority of His personal time and energy. He would lovingly help and serve people but then move on.

The Law of Seasonality


Very few relationships, if any, endure through every season of life. We should accept it and thank God for the deposits people make along life’s journey.

The Law of Clarity

You know someone is driving in the wrong relationship lane when things cause you to avoid or dread him. At times like these, you need to have transition talks and closure conversations. A transition talk is an opportunity to lovingly but clearly define (or redefine) the lane where the relationship will be. A closure conversation is the talk we have to be clear that we are not talking anymore.

The Law of Idolize-Demonize


These are the people who love you one minute and hate you the next. This very thing happened to Jesus. The enthusiastic crowd shouting, “Hosanna, hosanna,” soon became the hateful mob crying, “Crucify, crucify.”

The Law of Economy

Relationships are like vehicles. Some get good gas mileage. They don’t drain our energy and they keep moving forward without difficulty. Other relationships, however, get lousy gas mileage. These take a lot of time, energy and money, and don’t seem to make much progress.

The same is true for each of us. Some people are amazingly good investments of time and energy. Others, however, are exhausting and never gain much if any relational momentum. {eoa}


Mark Driscoll is a Jesus-following, mission-leading, church-serving, people-loving, Bible-preaching pastor and the author of many books, including Spirit-Filled Jesus, which you can order here. He currently pastors The Trinity Church in Scottsdale, Arizona, with his family. For all of pastor Mark Driscoll’s Bible teaching, please visit markdriscoll.org or download the app. You can download a free devotional e-book from pastor Mark here.

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