The game of comparison is such a common yet harmful trap. To compare is to examine two things to find similarities and differences. It is to measure one thing against another. As women, we begin the game of comparison at an early age. We compare dresses and shoes and dolls, then bra size and boyfriends and weight, and then cooking ability and the cleanliness of our homes. When we find ourselves becoming less than successful in any area of our lives, we many times find comfort in unearthing the knowledge that someone else is less successful than us in the same area. It’s the relief you experience when you walk into a friend or neighbor’s home to find piles of laundry and toys on the floor. Or it is the feeling of failure you may experience as you walk into a home that is squeaky clean and free of dust with homemade bread baking in the oven. We immediately begin to compare. It’s a natural reaction.
There is nothing more vicious than the comparison that takes place, at times, between mothers. As mothers we have an insatiable drive to succeed in raising our children. At times, we have all wrestled the drive for our kids to dress the best, achieve the best grades, accrue the most points or perform the best talents. We can become guilty of measuring our success by the output in our children’s lives. We may compare parenting styles, discipline styles, methods of education and even the spirituality of our children.
When we feel as if we are falling short of our potential compared with the potential of someone else, it begins a tormenting game that will drive parents to do the most absurd things. This is the breeding ground for pageant moms and academic moms and those who push their children mercilessly and behave in insane ways at sporting events just so the parents can see their children succeed over others.
We must examine the story of Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist, in the Word of God. If we study this, we come to the conclusion that in order to be a Spirit-led mom who raises a child of prophetic destiny we have to be freed from the cycle and trap of comparison. We have to release our children to be the unique individuals God has called them to be, even if it causes ridicule or potential embarrassment. Elizabeth’s son, John, didn’t even carry a traditional family name to begin with. I am sure it did not help her reputation when he decided all he wanted to wear was camel hair. Imagine the social anxiety the family experienced when all John wanted to eat was locusts. Elizabeth had to overcome mother-to-mother comparison and just allow her son to be who God created him to be. We cannot fear allowing our children to wear camel hair, even if it’s not the latest trend at the newest children’s boutique. Standing out and being different may be the divine design for your child of purpose, and it will require you to bury your desires to fit in or be popular. Kingdom shakers were never meant to fit molds. They were created to break them. We have to allow God to do that through our children at times, and by nature that means they will not always fit in.
Children with unique personalities were not created to just be medicated, labeled, and tolerated. What the world diagnoses as a disorder, defect, or pshychological glitch may actually be the genetic makeup of destiny. What seems undesirable or difficult to deal with in our culture may be a divine setup for kingdom influence. What significant person in biblical history or even Amercan history ever changed the world by being normal? Yet we feel the pressure as parents to conform our children to a mold called “normal.” This is the design of the enemy because normal and balanced equals comfortable and complacent in the kingdom. Jesus preached a radical gospel and lived a radical life, and He was anything but “normal.” And again, as the Lord prepares for His return, God is raising up a John-the-Baptist generation that will shake our nation and the world with a style and message that will be the furthest thing from normal or balanced. God Himself said He hates lukewarm things (Rev. 3:16). Hot or cold temperatures demand reactions, and that is how God desires for us to live our lives as believers. It starts, however with kingdom-minded mothers who will no fear or stifle what God has ordained in their children.
Adapted from The Warrior We Call Mom by Deven Wallace, copyright 2017, published by Charisma House. This book will help you see yourself as the warrior mom you were intended to be so that you can launch your children into their God-given destiny. To order your copy click on this link.
Prayer Power for the Week of Feb. 18, 2018
This week continue to pray for worldwide revival. Ask the Lord to give you prayer strategies concerning your children and their impact in the world. Remember those families recently victimized by violence, especially in Florida. Continue to pray for our president and those working with him to ensure our safety, peace and prosperity. Lift up our military, our allies and the persecuted church. Psalm 139