What a Healthy Marriage Government Looks Like

by | Jan 26, 2018 | Men

Every week, I work with couples in my counseling office who have a variety of issues. One of the first things I ask the couple early on in their session is that they describe their government to me. This is referring to how they make decisions in their marriage. Most couples don’t have a clear government in place, other than systems that manipulate or bully the other spouse.

I walk through some basic governments that could be a part of their decision-making process. These ideas are explained in more detail in my book, The Ten-Minute Marriage Principle. Firstly, they could be using a government system based on a monarchy. This is when one person is innately superior and makes all the decisions for the other spouse and the other obligingly carries out these directions. Another government system that some couples utilize is a theocracy. This is when both spouses try to figure out what God is saying and attempt to follow His direction.

A couple’s government system that is based on a democracy is when both spouses are considered equal and they vote through their decisions. In a democracy or theocracy, it is good to establish how you break a tie vote or when you believe that each hears differently from God. Finally, there is a corporation. Here, both spouses are considered vice presidents over different areas of responsibility. Each has 100 percent authority over these assigned areas. They can consult each other, but they don’t have to obey each other. They establish a board and they can add a person or couple to this board as needed. The board is for large decisions the couple needs to make.

What government are you operating in currently?  I know for some couples, it’s more chaos than order. But now comes the fun part. For right now, let’s presume you are both equal. How do you want to govern your marriage?  You both can vote and come up with a government system that has more power than either one of you manipulating or bullying the other spouse.

Figuring out how you will make your decisions is critical for an optionally functioning marriage. You both deserve to have a clear way of knowing how you make decisions. Once you decide how you will do this, you will find that you will argue much less. Just take a moment and imagine a marriage with less conflict and more peace.

Now go a step further. Imagine a child being raised with less conflict within the family and knowing how decisions are made. Now imagine orderly marriages continuing to be passed down for the next several generations. That’s when it gets exciting. Once you establish a government for the decisions made within your marriage, it is much more likely to be duplicated by others.

Imagine your grandchildren’s children sitting down and deciding how they will govern themselves. Even better would be that they just govern well because that’s just the way it’s been in their family for generations. Be a blessing to those you love and decide what government thou art!

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, The Ten-Minute Marriage Principle. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Abortion Restrictions Don’t ‘Force Religion’ on Women

Abortion Restrictions Don’t ‘Force Religion’ on Women

After the Supreme Court ruled last week 6-3 that there is no constitutional right to abortion, pro-life supporters cheered while angry pro-choice activists took to the streets to denounce the decision. Abortion advocates carried placards and shouted slogans such as...

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

One of the most amazing facts about the Founding Fathers of our nation is this: The one referred to as the "voice" of the revolution (John Adams) and the one referred to as the "pen" of the revolution (Thomas Jefferson) both died on the same day—July 4, 1826—exactly...

Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

It’s a question I frequently hear. It’s one I’ve asked. And maybe it’s one you’ve asked, too. The question is, “God, why did You give this to me?” This can be any number of issues, from emotional or psychological struggles to symptoms or sicknesses, disabilities or...

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

I sense it. And I perceive a growing number of people in massive proportions sense the increasing momentum of power and might worldwide. Something is on the horizon—something more eerie and ominous than what the people of the world have ever before experienced. Even...

Curt Landry: 6 Ways to Open Your Heart and Mind to God’s Voice

Curt Landry: 6 Ways to Open Your Heart and Mind to God’s Voice

We are told that we must listen to God’s voice when we need to make important decisions. What does the Bible say about hearing God’s voice? How do we apply this to our everyday lives? 7 Bible Verses About Hearing God’s Voice “So then faith comes by hearing, and...

Prophetic Word: The Books Are Open and the Scales Have Tipped

Prophetic Word: The Books Are Open and the Scales Have Tipped

As we were coming into the month of June, the halfway point of the year, the Lord began to speak to me that we are at a tipping point. How we position and posture ourselves in this month will set the tone for the next six months. A tipping point is a series of small...

RECENT ARTICLES

Charismatic Christian Spreads Spirit-Filled Hope, Boldness and Truth to the U.S. House of Representatives

One of the most high-profile, outspoken, freedom-fighting and influential conservative members of the U.S. House of Representatives is a Spirit-filled, Charismatic Christian. Colorado Rep. Lauren...
Are You Being Trapped by This Wily Scheme of the Enemy?

Are You Being Trapped by This Wily Scheme of the Enemy?

A predator ensnares his prey with a trap meant to weaken and disarm the life so easily enticed by the bait set before it. Once the predator catches his prey, his goal is to steal, kill and destroy. Do you know this is exactly what the enemy is trying to do to you...

3 Things God Can’t Do

3 Things God Can’t Do

 Most people will be surprised and may even gasp at that statement. You mean there are some things God can't do? Yes, it’s true. He can do anything except for these three things. {eoa} Bill and Annette Wiese founded Soul Choice Ministries in 2000 for the purpose of...

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Russia invaded Ukraine on February 24, 2022. Before the invasion, many—probably most—Western analysts expected the war to last from a few days to a few weeks due to Russia’s vastly superior military might. However, the Ukrainians surprised everyone. Due to the bravery...

Why There is Power in Your Song

Why There is Power in Your Song

Do you have a great voice? If so, then sing! Do you have a horrible voice? If so, then sing! There is power in the song. God gave you your vocal cords, voice and ability to sing. There has never been a culture in which music was not part of society. We see music...

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

Have you ever wondered what heaven was like? What does a person see and experience when they are in heaven? Is the arrival in immediate when a believer dies? These are great questions and ones that Rabbi Felix Halpern can answer. A mix-up in medicine brought about a...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]