Subtle Behaviors That Can Definitely Drag Your Marriage to Divorce Court

by | Mar 9, 2017 | Men

When I was in high school, my friends and I drove into Philadelphia to see a basketball game. This was my first time driving into the city without my parents. Since GPS didn’t exist yet (nor cell phones for that matter unless you were rich), I was navigating my way by memory. We made it there fine but on the ride home, I got off the highway one exit too early. All of a sudden, my surroundings were unfamiliar, and I couldn’t find my way back. The neighborhood got worse and worse. We were passing abandoned houses and even an old car on fire. Fortunately, we made it home safely at last, but our trip home could have ended tragically. A simple bad turn literally took us down a scary road.

In marriage, the same can be true. Simple turns can lead to bad behavior that can take a relationship down a road to divorce.

Simple turns can lead to bad behavior that can take a relationship down a road to divorce.

Are you and/or your wife making those turns? Here are six simple bad behaviors that could lead to divorce.

Not Talking

When you don’t talk, you don’t connect.

If you and your wife are not connecting, you’re drifting apart.

Communicating takes effort, particularly when two people are moving at a hectic pace. At the end of long day, it is easier to turn on the TV and zone out than find out about your wife’s day, confront problems or hear about what is weighing on her mind. There’s nothing wrong with watching TV but not talking can become a habit.

Bottom line: Talk to each other as much as possible.

Expecting Too Much

It is reasonable to have certain expectations of our spouses, but there are expectations that are unfair. For example, it’s fair to expect physical intimacy with your wife, but it’s unfair to refuse to take her needs into account. But when expectations like this are unmet, resentment can set in.

Bottom line: If you find yourself resenting your wife, evaluate your expectations and seek wise counsel on whether or not you are expecting too much.

Lacking Initiative

We do everything during the dating process to win our spouse. Then when we get married, we act as though the game is over. We have won, and now we can enjoy our championship ring. Marriage is about continually winning our spouse for a lifetime. That takes daily intentional thought and initiative. Love is an action that most powerfully shows itself when it is faithfully poured out in the ordinary moments of everyday life.

Bottom line: Never stop thinking of ways to win her.


One of the worst ways to deal with difficulties and stress is to fantasize about a different life. Daydreaming about what life would be like if you had never gotten married, were married to a different woman or if you were divorced may provide a temporary escape from your problems. However, in the end, it is entertaining the lie that those scenarios would bring a better life and a move toward disconnection.

Bottom line: When you daydream, daydream about your wife’s lovable qualities.

Seeing One Point of View

Looking at things from only our own point of view breeds a lack of empathy. It makes us more prone to assume ill-intent and blame others. It cultivates defensiveness, contempt and paranoia. Facebook political posts are full of this. Be open to the fact that you may, in fact, be wrong or at the very least don’t have a full picture. We all have blind spots. One of the benefits of marriage is having a spouse to help us see them.

Bottom line: Assume good intent and try to understand your wife’s point of view, especially when it’s different from yours.

Being Unforgiving

Holding on to hurt feelings, grudges and bitterness will only intensify wounds. It’s like allowing those wounds to become infected. A lack of forgiveness and grace is a painful road to isolation and loneliness. Forgiveness can be a process that takes a while. Make it a habit to start that process quickly.

Bottom line: The sooner you start the process of forgiveness, the sooner you will experience healing. {eoa}

B.J. Foster is the director of content creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two.

This article originally appeared at


Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


What Is ‘The One Thing’ God Wants From You?

What Is ‘The One Thing’ God Wants From You?

In 1971, I was invited to spend one month in Singapore at a new institute that had been started by John Haggai. It was still in the formative stages then—a place where Asian church leaders would be trained and challenged to witness for Christ. Today, more than 40...

37 Prayers for the Suffering Persecuted Church

37 Prayers for the Suffering Persecuted Church

It was a Pentecost bloodbath and most Christians never heard about it. More than 50 Christians were killed in one of the deadliest terror attacks on Nigerians this year. Scores of gunmen rushed in to kill Christians in the midst of worship. All told, over 360 million...

The Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: The People I Saw in Hell

The Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: The People I Saw in Hell

In 1998, God gave me a life-changing vision of hell. I receive many questions about my experience from people all over the world, but one question I'm often asked is, "Who did you see in hell?" There are others who say they've had an experience like mine, and they...

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

One of the most amazing facts about the Founding Fathers of our nation is this: The one referred to as the "voice" of the revolution (John Adams) and the one referred to as the "pen" of the revolution (Thomas Jefferson) both died on the same day—July 4, 1826—exactly...


Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

It’s a question I frequently hear. It’s one I’ve asked. And maybe it’s one you’ve asked, too. The question is, “God, why did You give this to me?” This can be any number of issues, from emotional or...
No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

I sense it. And I perceive a growing number of people in massive proportions sense the increasing momentum of power and might worldwide. Something is on the horizon—something more eerie and ominous than what the people of the world have ever before experienced. Even...

Curt Landry: 6 Ways to Open Your Heart and Mind to God’s Voice

Curt Landry: 6 Ways to Open Your Heart and Mind to God’s Voice

We are told that we must listen to God’s voice when we need to make important decisions. What does the Bible say about hearing God’s voice? How do we apply this to our everyday lives? 7 Bible Verses About Hearing God’s Voice “So then faith comes by hearing, and...

Pin It on Pinterest