How to Make Your Wife Feel Beautiful

by | Jul 26, 2013 | Men

Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-educated social researcher who has polled thousands of women to find out what really motivates them, encourages them and discourages them in their relationships. Here is what she learned about how to make your wife feel beautiful:

1. Reflect back the truth about her. You’re her most important mirror—the man who can reflect back to her how lovely you think she is. The man whose opinions of her are the best antidote for the damaging internal dialogue and external pressure that stalk her thoughts.

2. Say it. Think of few affirming words or phrases—and say them.

3. Say it now. Train yourself to say right away, whenever you think it! What she’s looking for is the immediate, reflexive response that proves you’ve been wowed.

4. Erase “Fine” from your response options. “Fine” is not fine unless used in the sense of “She’s so fine.” What your wife is looking for is reassurance that you think she is beautiful and stunning. “Fine” and “OK” are not even on the same planet as that.

5. Answer her real question: “Do I still rock your world?” When she asks the dreaded question, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” she’s not asking if she can leave in that outfit. Instead, she’s feeling insecure about her body, her beauty and whether you still love and appreciate her. If she does truly want feedback on her outfit, ask in advance if she needs reassurance or to know whether an outfit looks good.

6. Let her know you’re on her side. If your wife is overweight or looking to lose weight, realize that she feels terrible about it already. Knowing you are disappointed makes it worse. Be willing to help. Whenever possible, make the effort with her, and keep affirming her in those areas you do find beautiful, including her loveliness as a person.

7. Don’t take no for an answer. You might be thinking, “I try to compliment my wife, and she always brushes it off.” Take her reluctance as a sign that she needs affirmation even more. Her flaws loom large in her mind—even if you hardly notice them. For her, knowing that you find her lovely outside and inside will go a long way.

8. Remember the power of the hammer. As your wife’s reflective mirror, you have the power to shatter her. If your eyes begin wandering to another woman, she won’t feel affirmed and will feel as if she is in competition with the world again—including the one man she thought she already had. A woman whose husband doesn’t control his looking will feel she can no longer measure up to what her husband wants.

9. Porn sends her a message. You injure your wife when you look elsewhere for a thrill that you vowed to look for in only her. You break her trust. And you shatter your ability to reflect beauty back to her.

10. Be her hero. Each day, your wife holds out to you her intense, God-given, little-girl desire (and right) to be treasured. Each day, she’s threatened on all sides by an offensive and abusive world. And each day—with kind words and faithful eyes—we, too, can be our wife’s protector and hero.

All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

The preceding is based on an excerpt from the newly revised For Men Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti Feldhahn.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

There are many incidents of God giving people a sign throughout the Bible. Although I believe God still does this, I also believe that we must be careful. Asking for a sign can be misleading if other factors are not taken into consideration. In Genesis, we find an...

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

The last words Jesus spoke to me in my 23 Minutes In Hell vision were, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” Then He repeated Himself and said again, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” The Bible is clear that Jesus is coming back to rapture His believers,...

The Best Way to Love Others and Yourself

The Best Way to Love Others and Yourself

I believe that other than the gospel regarding salvation through faith in Christ, learning to walk in love is the most important lesson in God’s Word. Jesus says that love is the most important commandment (Mark 12:28–31). The apostle Paul writes that love is the...

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Praise be to Almighty God, righteous judge, holy of holies, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. The earth is His footstool, and to His kingdom there is no end! Breached Births The Spirit of the Lord says this day: “There has been a breach—breached births, My...

10 Reasons the Apostolic Movement Is Essential to Gospel Expansion

10 Reasons the Apostolic Movement Is Essential to Gospel Expansion

The global apostolic movement is the most significant expression of Christianity today. This is the view expressed by historian Philip Jenkins. He talks about the rapid expansion of the church in the global south, much of which is reminiscent of the first-century...

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Do you have any relationship struggles? Perhaps you want to learn how to love, for real. Too often today, people search for a fairytale love and are disappointed when the fairytale fizzles, which it will. Michael Gibson, author of Real Life Love, challenges folks to...

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

Have the words that others have spoken over you ever significantly impacted you? Words can birth destinies on the inside of us and bring hope to our hearts for the future. They have the power to ignite our dreams and give life to our souls. At the same time, negative...

RECENT ARTICLES

How You Can Foil the Plot Against Your Life

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Jesus warned us that we have an enemy, and he is a thief. He steals our joy, purpose,...
Activating Introverts in Evangelism

Activating Introverts in Evangelism

 Many believers mistakenly think that evangelism is only for charismatic, extroverted personality types. If they aren’t called to be evangelists, they shrink back from sharing the gospel with the lost entirely. The scriptural reality is that fivefold ministers, and...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]