God should be our first choice and not our last resort when it comes to healing our sexual hurt. This pain and ache is not something we can easily or quickly figure out or fix all by ourselves.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds but God does. How? There is no sexual experience, memory, temptation or addiction that is too strong for Him. His grace is greater than our sin or sadness. Here are 10 reasons to include God in your deepest wounds or darkest secrets in life:
1. God knows what sex can do. He knows that sex can be beautiful or horrible. It can be exhilarating or humiliating, delightful or disgusting. It can bond a couple together and it can tear a person apart. God knows how we can be deeply hurt by unwanted sexual experiences and also by mutually consenting adults. He invented it and knows that it’s just not as casual as we think. He knows how it hurts you now.
2. God wrote a book for you. Reality TV is nothing compared to the real life stories in the Bible! God included family sexual dysfunction, honeymoon night romance, violent rape scenes, tender physical fondling, seductive deadly attraction, sneaky sexual assault and devastating emotional trauma. It’s all there in the Bible to let us know that God is not a prude but keeps it real and has real answers for us.
3. God knows what you went through. You think He wasn’t there when it happened but He was. Nothing escapes Him. You weren’t alone then and you’re not alone now. He knows all the exact details of who, how, when, why, where and how long—more than anyone else. He can give you clarity and closure like none other. Include Him in your healing because He knows everything that happened to you.
4. God does what we can’t do. He offers you strength and peace that the world can’t give to you. No self-help book can accomplish what He can do. No one can whisper to you the truths He will tell you when you’re quiet in His presence. If He can calm a raging storm, walk on water, make blind people see, get the lame to walk and raise the dead—is there anything God can’t do in helping you to heal today?
5. God knows what hurt feels like. Jesus was betrayed and abandoned by people who promised loyalty and protection, much like we are. He was stripped naked, physically violated and sexually humiliated. Maybe the same happened to you … He was acquainted with grief and a man of sorrows. He’s been there and done that with life’s trauma, injustices and suffering. He hurt just like we do now.
6. God came to bring you life. He came to bring freedom to those who are held captive. Does that describe how you feel today? You can’t forget and you won’t forgive. It doesn’t go away … Jesus came to rescue us from thoughts that will destroy us. His truth will set you free and He will guide you into truth. God is not the killjoy; rather, He came to give joy. He brings light to those who are living in darkness.
7. One day, He will right all wrongs. It’s tough to handle your hurt because it seems like you lose and they win. They got away with it and fooled everyone. Maybe they’re still fooling people to this day. Remember, it will all be reversed. Those who do or did wrong will not get away with their secrets or sins. One day, everything will be exposed. One day, He will wipe away all your tears and erase the memories.
8. Your heart is in His hands. That’s great news to know that it’s not all up to you to heal yourself. God can restore and soften your heart. Jesus told us we would find rest in Him for our weary souls and heavy burdens. He can mend our hearts to be strong again and mold our heart so you feel clean once again. You may feel like you are damaged goods but God can help you see you are a new creation in Christ. There is no human heart that is too addicted or wounded for Him to change. It’s what He does best.
9. Forgiveness comes from God. This is probably the last thing you want to think about at this time. Sooner or later though—when you’re ready—there will come a time when it will be wise and healthy for you to forgive the person who deceived or disappointed you. You’ll need God’s help to do this because an apology will probably never come from the lips of the person who hurt you so deeply. Jesus talked a lot about forgiveness and extended it to people who abused and assaulted Him on the way to the cross. He’ll show you how to forgive the person/s who changed your life so you can get on with life afresh.
10. His ways are above our ways. People let us down. They disappoint us, deceive us and some even try to destroy us. God is in a totally different category. He doesn’t lie and He doesn’t leave. And He doesn’t stop loving His children. He will never do anything wrong to you. He is someone you can finally trust. He might actually be the only person you will ever trust in your life as a result of the sexual hurt. Maybe you were treated sexually horribly as a child. Your Father in heaven is different. Maybe your significant other took advantage of you, betrayed you, left you or scarred you. Your Bridegroom in heaven is different. When you’ve got shattered dreams, broken promises, family dysfunction, panic attacks, powerful addictions, health issues, overwhelming rage, childhood lost, trust stolen, false guilt or permanent memories, God is your very best shot in this life of becoming completely whole again.
Dr. Sam Serio is a Christian Counselor, Author, Speaker and Teacher. His specialty and ministry is in healing the sexual hurts and habits of women, men and couples. He touches upon the taboo sexual topics that the church usually ignores. This article is taken from his contemporary website of healingsexualhurt.com where he is president and founder. He currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia.