Don’t Be Naïve About Your Kids and Sex

by | Oct 25, 2013 | Men

A friend of mine who was an outstanding youth leader was dumbfounded when his daughter told him one day that she was pregnant. He had given dozens of talks about sex and relationships, yet somehow failed to recognize the needs of his own daughter.

Another friend was the campus minister at a private conservative university in the Midwest. He provided individual counseling to students, and one year he had counseled 20 female students who had problems related to being sexually involved with their boyfriends. During their counseling sessions, he discovered that none of the twenty coeds had a satisfying relationship with their dad. All described their father as either absent or distant.

You might assume your children are different from the rest of the world when it comes to sexual activity. But statistics show this isn’t the case.

Among 18-year-olds, 65 percent of girls and 68 percent of boys have experienced sexual intercourse. You’ll find that the percentages start pretty low for 15-year-olds, then rise rapidly by age 19. Are you open to the possibility that your son or daughter could be in that percentage?

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying you should control or even feel totally responsible for your children’s sex life. But you need to be involved. Communicate with them and help them understand the way they are made, the gift of sex, and its positive expression in marriage.

And start young with an age-appropriate approach. If you feel a little out of touch with your child, then you may need to rebuild the relationship a bit before delving into anything serious.

But even if you have a strong relationship with your child, don’t assume he’s completely innocent or naive in this area. Be interested. Be involved. Be alert enough to notice potential trouble spots so you can take action to help.

Don’t be intrusive or assume the worst. You’ll only stifle the relationship with mistrust—and lose the window of opportunity to help. Ask him questions because you’re interested in him, not to confirm your suspicions or exert control.

Sexuality is an area where we need to be involved, aware fathers. We can play a key role in teaching, nurturing and protecting our children.

Dr. Ken R. Canfield is founder of the National Center for Fathering and served as its president and CEO from 1990 through 2005. He is the author of The Heart of a Father and numerous other books including the award-winning 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Are You Being Trapped by This Wily Scheme of the Enemy?

Are You Being Trapped by This Wily Scheme of the Enemy?

A predator ensnares his prey with a trap meant to weaken and disarm the life so easily enticed by the bait set before it. Once the predator catches his prey, his goal is to steal, kill and destroy. Do you know this is exactly what the enemy is trying to do to you...

3 Things God Can’t Do

3 Things God Can’t Do

 Most people will be surprised and may even gasp at that statement. You mean there are some things God can't do? Yes, it’s true. He can do anything except for these three things. {eoa} Bill and Annette Wiese founded Soul Choice Ministries in 2000 for the purpose of...

What Is the Difference Between Revelation and Understanding?

What Is the Difference Between Revelation and Understanding?

“I got a word from the Lord, but I don’t understand it.” “I’m feeling called in this direction, but I’m waiting for full understanding before I act on it.” These and statements like them are common during that all-too-familiar waiting time between a word being given...

Prophecy: A Prophetic Insight Into the Roe v. Wade Reversal

Prophecy: A Prophetic Insight Into the Roe v. Wade Reversal

The halls of heaven are rejoicing in the victory for life. The grief our Lord knows over the death of millions of babies in the name of secular humanism, the beast of Revelation 13, has been tempered by our Supreme Court's decision to send the future of abortion back...

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Kingdom Economics: When Things Don’t Go as Expected

Russia invaded Ukraine on February 24, 2022. Before the invasion, many—probably most—Western analysts expected the war to last from a few days to a few weeks due to Russia’s vastly superior military might. However, the Ukrainians surprised everyone. Due to the bravery...

Why There is Power in Your Song

Why There is Power in Your Song

Do you have a great voice? If so, then sing! Do you have a horrible voice? If so, then sing! There is power in the song. God gave you your vocal cords, voice and ability to sing. There has never been a culture in which music was not part of society. We see music...

RECENT ARTICLES

How Would an Encounter in Heaven Transform Your Life?

Have you ever wondered what heaven was like? What does a person see and experience when they are in heaven? Is the arrival in immediate when a believer dies? These are great questions and ones that...
Prophet: Learning to Listen With Discernment

Prophet: Learning to Listen With Discernment

Learning to listen with discernment means that you begin to recognize the voice of God so well that other voices sound unfamiliar. In John 10:5a, Jesus told his followers, "Yet they will never follow a stranger." This statement needs to become a reality in your life....

5 Stages of Building a Successful Team

5 Stages of Building a Successful Team

The definition and purpose of leadership are directly tied to organizational models and the five stages of building an organizational model. Let’s talk about those five stages. What we say here may sound somewhat like what you may have heard before about building a...

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

There are many incidents of God giving people a sign throughout the Bible. Although I believe God still does this, I also believe that we must be careful. Asking for a sign can be misleading if other factors are not taken into consideration. In Genesis, we find an...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]