4 Types of Friends Who Will Help You Walk Through Your Single Years

by | Jan 3, 2018 | Men

Friends are probably one of the greatest factors in being successful during singleness. It’s quite normal—and has been repeatedly researched—that in this stage of life, the primary influences in your decision-making process are your friends. At this point Mom, Dad and church take a backseat to your friends.

Therefore, a discussion of friends is definitely pertinent. Singleness doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Those you have with you in the process can slow you down or speed you along the journey, and it matters what kind of friends you have—and what kind of friend you are.

There are different types of friends in life. This is never truer than when you are single. You can have a variety of friends, and each can have an impact on your life or heart. Let’s walk through four general types of friends.

  1. Convenient Friends

These are by far the easiest friendships to develop. These are the people who go to the same school, church, or job, or they live in the same neighborhood. You see them. These seem to be the friends that life just happens to have surrounded you with. You have a choice to be with them or not, but for the most part, they are just there, day in and day out. They are the students in the dorm, neighbors in the same apartment building or people that you run into through the course of the week.

  1. Interest Friends

Interest friends have something specifically in common with you. They play on the same sports team or do the same extracurricular activities, like music, computer games or projects of some type. Your common interest in something is what keeps the friendship going.

You’re somewhat familiar with them, but what you do together is usually a similar activity. With these friends, a certain part of you is regularly expressed and usually accepted—the athletic part, fun part, intellectual part or some other gifted part of you.

These relationships are usually encouraging and fun to have. A deeper relationship may or may not occur with a common-interest friendship, but either way, these friends meet a need.

  1. Spiritual Friends

These are your Christian buddies. They may or may not go to the same church, but they most often do. They might be the guys or gals you go to lunch with after church. They may even be your core group of friends. These are the people you talk to about spiritual issues, like God, purity, the Bible or religion.

They often have a similar worldview as you and give you spiritual encouragement and guidance. Hopefully, this group is the one group where you can experience love, acceptance and grace. This is an important group of friends. If you don’t have this group, I would encourage you to join a singles group on campus or a Bible study at your church.

These people will often have a wide spectrum of interests, intellect and perspective. They won’t be perfect, but this group is central to being successfully single.

  1. Honest Friends

This group will usually include no more than a few people. These are friends you call when you are hurt. They may be from any of the above groups, but you know you can count on them. They do accept you as you are, and at the same time can see your error in logic or behavior.

They are there for you. You can let down your guard and be honest. You can cry, be angry, be afraid and not feel your best in front of them, and it’s OK. Often, they feel the same way about you. You are comrades in this season. For most singles, these friends are often also single. Many singles have spiritual parents or mentors with whom they can be deeply honest. I have found both to be helpful during a time of singleness. Sometimes I needed wisdom, and other times—such as after a breakup—I just needed comfort, or a “you will be OK” from a friend who knew I was hurt. This group of friends is the most critical to have during your entire lifetime, but especially in a season of singleness.

If you don’t have honest friends, get going and find them. I know singles often move away for school, work or other reasons. Honest friends are the anchors of your soul. Choose these friends carefully. Take a few moments and ask yourself these questions.

  1. Is there an area of friendship that does not currently exist for you? If, so what is your plan to find these friends?
  2. Where do most of your friends come from? How balanced does your array of friendships look?
  3. Of the Christian singles you know, can you be one type of friend to someone in need? {eoa}

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Servant Marriage. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website drdougweiss.com, on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708, or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

How Divine Wrestling Changes Our Identity

How Divine Wrestling Changes Our Identity

All of us at some point will hit a place of getting the wind knocked out of us. We all experience unexpected detours and times when there seems to be no way out. But there is One who lives in us, the Lord Jesus Christ, who gives us the strength to overcome obstacles....

Spirit-Filled Pastor: How Does God Lead Us Today?

Spirit-Filled Pastor: How Does God Lead Us Today?

Whether it is the Spirit leading or forbidding in the book of Acts, or the Spirit leading throughout Christian history, it’s clear that the leading of the Spirit is important. In the Old Testament, it appears that the Spirit of God could be withdrawn completely from...

Joyce Meyer: Keys to Winning Your Race in Life

Joyce Meyer: Keys to Winning Your Race in Life

Everyone has a race to run. That just means we all have a life to live. The apostle Paul says in Hebrews 12:1 (NIV), “Therefore...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for...

Prophetic Word: The Lord Says, ‘I Am the Consuming Fire’

Prophetic Word: The Lord Says, ‘I Am the Consuming Fire’

God says that during this season, He is turning up the heat, finding the gold and bringing His refining fire. Job makes a powerful statement of faith as he says of the Lord, "When he has tried me, I shall come out as gold." God knew Job's heart and Job knew the heart...

What Is ‘The One Thing’ God Wants From You?

What Is ‘The One Thing’ God Wants From You?

In 1971, I was invited to spend one month in Singapore at a new institute that had been started by John Haggai. It was still in the formative stages then—a place where Asian church leaders would be trained and challenged to witness for Christ. Today, more than 40...

37 Prayers for the Suffering Persecuted Church

37 Prayers for the Suffering Persecuted Church

It was a Pentecost bloodbath and most Christians never heard about it. More than 50 Christians were killed in one of the deadliest terror attacks on Nigerians this year. Scores of gunmen rushed in to kill Christians in the midst of worship. All told, over 360 million...

RECENT ARTICLES

Prophecy: A Window of Time Has Opened for Believers to Preach the Truth

I was rejoicing and praising God on Friday, June 24, 2022, for the overturning of Roe v. Wade, knowing that an ungodly decree was overturned and one national curse was broken. I heard by the Holy...
The Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: The People I Saw in Hell

The Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: The People I Saw in Hell

In 1998, God gave me a life-changing vision of hell. I receive many questions about my experience from people all over the world, but one question I'm often asked is, "Who did you see in hell?" There are others who say they've had an experience like mine, and they...

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

The United States: Birthed in Prophetic Symbolism

One of the most amazing facts about the Founding Fathers of our nation is this: The one referred to as the "voice" of the revolution (John Adams) and the one referred to as the "pen" of the revolution (Thomas Jefferson) both died on the same day—July 4, 1826—exactly...

Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

Why Did God Give ‘This’ to Me?

It’s a question I frequently hear. It’s one I’ve asked. And maybe it’s one you’ve asked, too. The question is, “God, why did You give this to me?” This can be any number of issues, from emotional or psychological struggles to symptoms or sicknesses, disabilities or...

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

No Evil Can Stop What God Has Planned

I sense it. And I perceive a growing number of people in massive proportions sense the increasing momentum of power and might worldwide. Something is on the horizon—something more eerie and ominous than what the people of the world have ever before experienced. Even...

Pin It on Pinterest