4 Insights for When Your Spouse Irritates You

by | Sep 25, 2014 | Men

Getting irritated by your spouse is an occupational hazard for marriage. It happens in all marriages—some more than others.

Sometimes I frustrate and annoy my wife, Susan. I confessed that when I wrote about how sometimes I can be like a prickly porcupine. And sometimes Susan can get on my nerves too.

Take a recent weekend this summer, for example. Susan came into the kitchen and discovered a chip in one of our counters. Quickly, she declared quite irritably that either me or my son were guilty of the damage since we were there.

My reaction wasn’t award winning, but it was natural since her accusation irritated me too. I countered, in front of my son, with the defensive question, “Why do you just assume that one of us did it when it could have been someone else?”

That didn’t work too well. She got more irritated with me, walked out of the room, and went upstairs.

As I followed her upstairs, my frustration was growing too. When I asked her why she was so upset, she said I “chastised” her in front of our son and that I never listen to her about taking care of our furniture. Naturally, I had some examples of my own to share with her about how she irritated me …

You probably see where this went—nowhere. In marriage, either of us can make a HUGE list of how the other annoys and irritates the other, but that won’t get us anywhere.

Thankfully, after we processed this squabble, we came to the following conclusions:

1. We are equal-opportunity agitators. Husbands and wives BOTH do, or don’t do, things that irritate the other. So often, I forget about the things that I do that frustrate and irritate Susan, dwelling instead on all those things she does that get at me. We should take a step back and remember that we are a source of irritation too. Then, maybe we can overlook some things that our spouse does.

2. It’s not all about me. Marriage is not all about me. Our job as a husband or wife is not to make sure our spouse follows all our instructions and does what we want them to do for us when we want them to do it, like a king or queen issuing edicts to a subject. Rather, we should strive to serve one another. Remember, love is all about giving.

3. I’m an agent of change … for myself. It’s always easy to focus on what the other person needs to change. It’s easy to make mental lists of what we want our spouse to do differently. But each of us needs to focus on those things that we need to change about our own behavior first. Then, when we become models of perfection, we can start working on changing our spouse.

4. She/he is not me—and that’s fine. Our spouse is not made in our likeness. Our spouse is not designed to conform to our image. Our spouse does not think or act the same way we do, and they are not supposed to. They have a different personality and different ways of doing things. But how often do we act as though our spouse should be just like us? Don’t demand conformity. Celebrate the differences.

What are some things you think are important to remember when your spouse annoys you, or you annoy your spouse? Please share your comments below.

Mark Merrill is the president of Family First. For the original article, visit markmerrill.com.

CHARISMA NEWSLETTERS

Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more.

The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens.

Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. 


MORE FROM CHARISMA

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

Spirit-Filled Pastor: Can I Ask God for Confirmation?

There are many incidents of God giving people a sign throughout the Bible. Although I believe God still does this, I also believe that we must be careful. Asking for a sign can be misleading if other factors are not taken into consideration. In Genesis, we find an...

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

Man Who Spent 23 Minutes in Hell: Are You Ready To Meet Jesus?

The last words Jesus spoke to me in my 23 Minutes In Hell vision were, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” Then He repeated Himself and said again, “Tell them I am coming very, very soon.” The Bible is clear that Jesus is coming back to rapture His believers,...

The Best Way to Love Others and Yourself

The Best Way to Love Others and Yourself

I believe that other than the gospel regarding salvation through faith in Christ, learning to walk in love is the most important lesson in God’s Word. Jesus says that love is the most important commandment (Mark 12:28–31). The apostle Paul writes that love is the...

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Prophecy: The Breach in Our Nation Will Be Repaired

Praise be to Almighty God, righteous judge, holy of holies, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. The earth is His footstool, and to His kingdom there is no end! Breached Births The Spirit of the Lord says this day: “There has been a breach—breached births, My...

10 Reasons the Apostolic Movement Is Essential to Gospel Expansion

10 Reasons the Apostolic Movement Is Essential to Gospel Expansion

The global apostolic movement is the most significant expression of Christianity today. This is the view expressed by historian Philip Jenkins. He talks about the rapid expansion of the church in the global south, much of which is reminiscent of the first-century...

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Experience a Better Kind of Love in Your Relationships

Do you have any relationship struggles? Perhaps you want to learn how to love, for real. Too often today, people search for a fairytale love and are disappointed when the fairytale fizzles, which it will. Michael Gibson, author of Real Life Love, challenges folks to...

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

The Power of Godly Words Over Another Life—and Yours

Have the words that others have spoken over you ever significantly impacted you? Words can birth destinies on the inside of us and bring hope to our hearts for the future. They have the power to ignite our dreams and give life to our souls. At the same time, negative...

RECENT ARTICLES

How You Can Foil the Plot Against Your Life

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Jesus warned us that we have an enemy, and he is a thief. He steals our joy, purpose,...
Activating Introverts in Evangelism

Activating Introverts in Evangelism

 Many believers mistakenly think that evangelism is only for charismatic, extroverted personality types. If they aren’t called to be evangelists, they shrink back from sharing the gospel with the lost entirely. The scriptural reality is that fivefold ministers, and...

Pin It on Pinterest

[class^="wpforms-"]
[class^="wpforms-"]